This guy wants to meet me?

Question

So I'm 21, I have a job my ex dumped me last week. Not looking for a rebound or anything.. just looking to talk, make friends and maybe go on some dates. There is this 27 year old guy (I don't know when he turns 28) who messaged me on plentyoffish a few days ago (we've been texting ever since and talk on and off all day) and he wants to take me out for a drink and meet me. Problem is, is my mother. I feel like I can't do anything because of her. She knows I've met lots of guys online and she had to meet all of them (well the ones she KNEW about) and I understand why she worries about me and would want to meet them. I've also have done some dumb things in the past. But now that I am 21, I feel like I should be deciding what I should and shouldn't do. I want to have a life finally. If I tell her I'm hanging out with a coworker, she won't ask a million questions about them.. even if she's never met them. I wouldn't mind meeting him.. I just don't know what to do. I'd rather meet him when she's not around, when she's asleep late at night or tell her I'm going out with coworkers. It's sad that I am 21 and that I feel this way. I also don't have money to move out so that's out of the question. I pay my bills with my money.
Also, he calls me baby, babe and hunny. I don't understand why he does this or why he asked me if he is the only guy from plentyoffish that I have been speaking to. He said I am the only person he is speaking to (even if he was talking to other women I wouldn't care). Well he is the only guy I've considered meeting..other guys message me on there but I've been talking to him the most. He has mentioned that he's gone on some crappy dates with women from that website. He said one didn't look like the pics she posted and another lied about everything. He says I am awesome and stuff and I'm like "lol how am I awesome if we haven't met"

Answer 1

I think that you should maybe tell your Mother first, i mean if something happens or goes wrong, she knows where you are. I know what you are 21 and can probably take care of yourself, but just in case.

Answer 2

Well, you are a grown woman, so you should make your own decisions. But you have not cut the figurative "umbilical cord" yet. You're still in your mother's house even if you pay your own bills. As long as you don't bring your lovers to her house without permission, I don't think your mother should control your love and social life outside of the house, although it would be nice to consider her opinion, even if you don't use it in your final decision.



Just be careful. Although you're older now, people online still don't have to be who they say they are, and could harm you. Do want you please, but be careful and have good sense. I'm assuming you know not to go to secluded places alone with him, get drunk, or leave your drink unattended. I do hope you can make amends with your mother, but your love life is your choice. I wish you the best.

Answer 3

Your mum is only protecting you from potential dangers in having a date with a total stranger especially as you ve done crappy things in the past.

Dont believe all this guy has ever told you about himself nor the comments on your beauty and awesomeness,men can say what they dont mean to cajole you to bed.Have dates with this guy and every other guy with precautions for as long as possible until you are able to determine their level of reponsibility,meet with him in a public place,dont eat or drink anything he has bought before meeting you or goes out to buy for you while you are together,if you leave your food/drink for a while when you return DONT take it any more,after meeting with him dont let him drive you home or anywhere,take a cab or bus home,let him give you his work address as well as home address,when you wish to visit him at home dont go alone and dont let him know you are coming with someone,visit his office uninvited.Open your eyes while you do all this and dont ignore anything unusual about his attitude and home.

All these is to enable you know if he is responsible,honest and trustworthy and for your personal safety most.

Good luck!