(Easy 10 points) Am I in the right here? Girlfriend had miscarriage?

Question

Me and my girlfriend had some problems some months ago. We would have problems like any couple and quarrel, I'd try to resolve them and keep this to a minimum. However when this girl loses her temper she can become very vicious. To date shes told me shes never loved me, she told me she was going to go with some guy to Lanzarote, finally she pushed me too far and told me shes going on some weekend getaway with another guy. The most trivial arguments erupt into dramatic episodes like this with her. I finally just ran for the hills sick to death of this blatant abuse and feeling stressed out all the time by her. So I started seeing other women, I know two wrongs don't make a right, but I basically told her I kissed this other girl (I didn't). But at the time it felt like the only way to emotionally put this girl through what I have since she cannot be reasoned with. Shortly after she tells me shes pregnant with my kid. She breaks down after I tell her I kissed another girl, I tell her I didn't but still tried to keep my distance from her because she hadn't even apologized for anything she said to me or care how I felt. Suddenly she demands emotional support since shes going through this pregnancy and I kept my distance, I ignored her. She was acting like a complete child. Shes kept me feeling miserable with her insensitive language towards me, yet she kept trying to insist its only because I'm pathetic and horrible and that shes somehow not accountable for the distress she puts me through. Just recently we wanted to patch things up after she had the miscarriage which resulted from her not eating or drinking. So I set aside a Saturday and texted her well in advance that I opened up a whole Saturday to talk, she never shows. Later on I tell her we can later and give her a time, I get no email or text from her and assume she'll just be a no-show again. She apparently shows when it convenients her and then says I'm cruel and horrible for it and that I should "Consider our 5 years ended" I tell her she did not confirm our meeting at all, she replies "Too late" as in shes already been with another guy. I have a lot of supportive friends and met many while attending college, some of them suggested she has borderline personality disorder. What do you all think?

Answer 1

Sounds like she's very cruel and manipulative. I would stay away from her. She may have some serious mental issues and you don't want that. It sounds like she's caused you a lot of grief and turmoil and you deserve better. I know having the miscarriage was probably emotionally draining but honestly,as harsh as it sounds, it was probably for the best. Things happen for a reason. A woman like that would not be a good mother or wife. Let her go and if she tries to contact you tell her you've moved on and then find a nice caring girl who will respect you and give you the love you deserve.

Answer 2

Though she may have some sort of mental issues, those are hers to muddle through and hopefully work out.

I don't think that there is any hope for you two to try to stay together, things sound way too sticky and messed up already to try to get thrown back into anything emotionally again, because, by the sound of it, she has difficulties with emotions already. Granted a pregnancy can screw with emotions in many ways, but the other guys and emotional bouts unrelated to that seem "unstable" if you will.

I think that there was def communication problems and she probably wasnt 100 percent to blame for the way things ended up, but blame is never the issue. what's past is past. all that matters now is that you need to try to get over her soon as possible. start the healing process sooner rather than later. she doesnt want to be with you, and honestly, it sounds like youre smart enought to know that you dont want to be with her anymore either.



i wish you the best of luck tho

Answer 3

she's emotionally unstable and doesn't love herself(seems to have low self-esteem), so it's very hard for her to love you and thus, it was super hard to love the baby. You just presented one side of the story, I'd like to hear hers as well. Taking it from your side, she may just never loved you for you bc you weren't the right person for her in her mind. She may not even know what she wants and would test you--making you jealous and all to see if you love her/to get your attention and to see what you would do. It's an unhealthy and immature relationship from what it sounds like. She sounds emotionally/verbally abusive, too. She needs to see a doctor...the moodiness sounds like either severely depressed or bipolar. She needs to get her life straight b4 involving herself with a man. She needs to resolve her past issues bc this will be a cycle within each relationship she jumps into. I don't think she cheated on you..she was saying that to make you jealous. She sounds very insecure.

Answer 4

While it's terrible what happened to the two of you (losing the baby), she's obviously a crazy person and if I were you I'd get out now while I could. If she's telling you repeatedly that she's with/been with these other guys then it's only a matter of time before she cheats on you or something. Get out now man

Answer 5

Wow, okay not all women are crazy but this one is. Break up with her and dont text, call or email her also dont answer her text, calls and emails. its pretty apparent she lied to you about being prego and the miscarriage it was a way to trap you much like how Scott trapped Kourtney. I think you need to move on and find stable women who dont have mental issues.

Answer 6

I disagree with skybrst7. Not all women are crazy but i think this one may be. Such a shame because it is crazy b*tches like this that ruin great guys and make it hard for the rest of us cool chicks.

Answer 7

The real question here is why do you insist putting yourself through this?



I do understand that you love her but do you really want to be miserable?



My suggestion is to break up with her and forget she existed.



Good Luck

Answer 8

I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.

Answer 9

I agree with your friends, she sounds completely crazy. Advice, be glad she miscarried and stay as far away as possible :/

Answer 10

I THINK U SHOULD NOT EVEN GET BACK WITH HER! THE RELATIONSHIP TO HER CONSISTS IN JUST DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA!!! IF IT DIDN'T WORK THEN IT WOULDN'T WORK NOW.

Answer 11

Stay away from her, move on.

Answer 12

all women are crazy it's just how much crazy can you put up with?