Im a failure on dating apps, and cant think of any other way to date. Should i give up and resign myself to permanent loneliness?

Question

What im really asking is, is it time for me to kill myself. Because i will not live a life of permanent loneliness; hell would be less worse than never having a a girlfriend. 
To put things in perspective, I'm 32 and never dated, mostly because of suffering from clinical depression, clinical anxiety and low self esteem from childhood bullying. The fact that I'm now fat and ugly and am incapable of exercise (cant stand the burning pain and short breath of working out) means I'm going to be hideous forever.  Additionally I'm shallow; despite being hideous i want to date hot women and i CAN NOT and will not lower my standards even if it means the alternative is permanent (loneliness). I can not and am certain will never be able to fathom how anyone can develop a good relationship with someone who they aren't physically attracted to. All the personality in the world isn't going to make sex with a fat person good. And sex is a huge part of a good relationship.

Anyways, ive been on Bumble a month and have spent about 500-1000 dollars on it and have had absolutely ZERO likes.  To me, this is proof that i am Quasimodo, that i have no hope and that i may as well give up now and end my life as painlessly as possible ( well as painlessly as a 9mm round to the head can be).  I will NOT use any other dating apps because i cant stand rejection and wont make the first move. Its Bumble or Bust, and i think ive busted. In a pandemic, theres no other way to meet women is there?  

Answer 1

Yeah, you should kill yourself.

You are welcome.

Answer 2

Most people are bad with dating apps.  The younger generation thinks they came up with a better way to find a special someone.  To me, it is adding steps, and trying to make an emotional choice with a logical quest.  The best way has always been doing, living a life you like, and meeting people around you.  most will be like you, or will compliment you.  Looks are some what important. but not as being a real, caring, responsible, respectful, giving person who is involved in life, family friends, work, and community.  Possible the country and the world. I can say, two things, that might be confusing, but might explain dating.  One, everyone has traits that think they do not like and like in a partner. Most are the same, for me and alike, I want someone who is kind, patient, does not use drugs, or drinks too much, likes dogs, and children. And has any kind of job.  I think most of my friends and other people I hang out with feel the same. Now over the last 30 years of dating I have liked different things in women. Most have stayed the same, but a few changed when I met a certain woman. Like a French Brazilian woman who was very hairy.  Until I met her I would have ran from any woman like her.  2. my parents I did not think made sense. My dad was a bit boring. But my mom was very Annoying.  I asked my dad why he married my mom, and he said, I just knew in times of trouble she would be a good partner. And she had a nice Butt. My mom said, I just knew in terrible times I knew your dad would make me laugh, and he had a nice butt. They had 10 children. married for 54 years before my dad died. You are not looking for someone perfect but perfect for you. Good luck. note: we all get caught in life or as I call it surviving mode.  Or a rut   

Answer 3

you do not deserve to die. you are completely and utterly worthy. i mean that. loneliness is a universal feeling, i promise you are not alone in feeling like this.



here's the thing. you know why some things may not be working out for you - you seem pretty self aware. there is absolutely a way going forward from here, suicide is not and will never be your only option. in order to have some kind of relationship with someone, you need to think about what you're bringing to the table. they always say that the qualities you look for in a partner are actually what you want for yourself.



so, i suggest getting some help. see a therapist, talk to a friend or family member about how you feel. i know you said you don't like exercise, but perhaps finding a routine that is easier and more enjoyable could be a good first step, like going for a walk everyday.



you are loveable. you are worthy of love. you will find someone, but first you need to work on yourself - your self esteem mostly. i wish the best for you, really. please seek help.