Did I do something wrong to this girl?

Question

This is a relatively long story but I'll try to sum it up. Also the names are improvised and fake.

Setting - college (I'm a sophomore)
Jen - a freshman red-haired girl I had a crush on since day one
Britt - a sophomore who's the red-haired girl's friend who I normally see hang out with, especially at dinner
John - a friend below my floor who's an RA
Renna - a friend of mine who's a girl who was changing rooms

So once upon a time, my friend Renna needed help exchanging her belongings from one dorm to another. The girl she was exchanging rooms with was Jen. Right away I knew we thought one another was attractive. Each time we passed each other in the hall we would enter that nervous, butterfly-in-your-stomach moment when we'd want to say something but only stare at each other and smile and mumble.

So time passes and I realize throughout the semester that Jen knows a lot of people I know, namely Britt. We chat from time to time whenever we have the chance, until one time in the library Jen actually invited me to tag along to the upcoming Comic Con in Boston in April. I was absolutely enthralled and still can't wait, I guess, but you'll see what happens.

Over winter break, I admitted my crush to Britt, but I wanted to know more about Jen because I hardly get to see her and she's never online nor on Facebook.

Britt never responded to my Facebook message because apparently she broke up with a recent boyfriend and I guess she didn't want to talk about love, which is what her other friend suggested.

After winter break however, Britt never once address me about my message in person, which felt awkward to me deep down. I still don't know if I should bring it up.

Jen and I randomly meet up again by chance. By this time, my friend John told me of a program he set up for his floor to all go visit the Met in NYC. But he didn't have enough people and asked his friends to ask for more friends to come along. I eventually asked Jen if she would like to come with us.
Note this: SHE SAID YES.
She agreed that she would go to the Met that Saturday.

The next day comes and it's Friday evening and I run over to Jen's dorm to tell her what time we're leaving on Saturday morning.

Guess what?

Jen left for the weekend, according to her roommate. Apparently Jen goes home a lot on the weekends.

Hrm, that's weird. No worries. . .

Valentine's Day comes and I drop off an anonymous present with a teddy bear and chocolates. I would then continue to hang out with Jen, get to know her more, and eventually admit it was me.

Then strange things start to happen.

Jen never came to dinner anymore. I sometimes switch from group to group for dinner, and even when I wasn't there with Britt, Jen still didn't come.
From then on, any time I tried to catch her in moments she usually was in, she wasn't there.

The thought then occurred to me: did I scare her off or something? Did Britt maybe say something negative about me to Jen and warn her about me? Was the teddy bear too much or something? I don't understand. This is the first time something peculiar like this happened to me with a girl. Technically, she lied to me about going to the Met. At least, withheld information that she normally went home on weekends. Unless it was something random and important? I'd really like to see her, but we're not so close where I feel I can randomly drop by her dorm. I don't get it though. She was always giddy around me and liked to tag along, and gave me this unmistakably look. Or am I, in the end, being too paranoid? And should I address finally in person to Britt about my crush despite that she never addressed me about it?

Answer 1

Hmm, who knows? She cooled off, but it may have absolutely nothing to do with you. Maybe she's seeing someone else, maybe she's stressed about school. I think you are being a bit paranoid. There's no proof that any of her change in behavior (like, not being in her dorm at the times she used to be there) has to do with you. As for saying she'd go to the Met and then not going, well, honestly who knows. Maybe she's flaky, or one of those people who'd rather say 'yeah sure' than be realistic about their plans.



I do think it's odd that Britt never responded to your message saying you liked Jen. But who knows how to interpret that? As you said, it could be for various reasons. Rather than talk to Britt, I would suggest just going straight to Jen. Send her an invite to 6rounds.com or email her and ask her to hang out. Be direct. Or you could just take it easy, wait it out, and see what happens.



No more anonymous teddy bears though. That's kind of intense.

Answer 2

ok from reading this im thinking maybe britt likes you and thats why she hasnt brought up anything about your messages.so youve told jen that the valentines gift was from you and her knowing that britt likes you she is now keeping her distance so she wont hurt britt???

i dont know what your relationship is with them but theres another possibility.

i think you should talk to britt though.

Answer 3

its hard to clearly state what i think about all of this, you probably did offend her in some way