Should I stay with my boyfriend or should I go?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years, he's 29 and I’m 27. For the most part we’ve been happy but in April 09 we found out he might be made redundant and we had to pull out of buying a house, we still don’t know what’s happening with his job and we're both very stressed because of this. As a result we've been going through a rocky patch and it's making me think hard about our whole relationship.
Since the job stuff began he’s gone off sex, won’t touch me and although we share a bed when he stays over (we don’t live together) nothing happens and I’ve given up trying to initiate anything. I’ve tried talking to him about it but he gets embarrassed and clams up. The other day he accidently let me see some porn on his phone, it upset me that he’ll look at that but won’t touch me. We did talk about it and says he’s just stressed and it’s a release.
I’m doing my best to be patient and understanding but don’t feel very valued in this relationship. He’s always been a flirt and there have been pictures of him hugging, dancing with and kissing (on the cheek) other girls. It does upset me but he's always said they're just mates and I do trust that nothing else has happened.
During our relationship so far I have always put him first, everything I do revolves around him. I try and think of ways to make him happy, food he likes, I encourage him to go out with his mates, we do stuff he wants and I try and send him little texts to makes him smile during the day. It's only recently I’ve begun to realise I’ve been doing this but the upsetting part is when he leaves me or puts the phone down I feel he stops thinking about me.
I had a job interview last week, and he forgot all about it didn’t wish me luck before and never asked me about it that night till I prompted him. I had to persuade him to change his status on Facebook to say he was in a relationship.
There have been times when he's been amazing and I'm not perfect but I suppose I just want to know if I should carry on being patient in the hope that when his job is sorted we’ll get back on track or walk away now before I get even more hurt.
What do you think?

Answer 1

It's probably not you. It's more likely the stress. Extreme stress can cause a man performance difficulties. He may be worried that either he won't be able to rise to the occasion and/or loose his mojo mid act. Him worrying about it only makes it worse. Men can be very sensitive about this, which is probably why he hasn't talked to you about it. Maybe you should gently recommend he have a talk with his GP. They have options to help with this.



xx

Answer 2

Against my better judgement, I'm going to give you a serious answer.



This isn't a problem with you. sounds like he's depressed. get him some therapy and if he cares enough then try couples therapy as well.



Realationships take effort and sometimes you have to be willing to help your partner out instead of just dumping them when the going gets rough.



As for initiating sex, when you want it - tell him you want to fukc and don't take no for an answer.

Answer 3

I think he is not very serious in this relationship.. Perhaps you should just try ignoring him and see whether he wanted you back or not... You can see whether he is sincere or not in wanting you back.. Sometimes people will only treasure something which is gone.. If he doesn't show any actions to want you back, I guess the sign is clear.