Change my values or change my relationship?

Question

I'm in a relationship with a guy who swore he'd never be in a relationship. He values his goal of becoming a filmmaker over everything else and is terrified of commited relationships because he has the notion that he will get trapped into marriage and kids and obligations somewhere along the line and have to compromise his dream. I, on the other hand, don't know what I want to do in life and my main focus is on romantic relationships. Obviously this causes conflict between us because I ask things of him in the relationship that he's simply not willing to give. Do you think it's wise to break off this relationship to look for someone who also puts relationships above other aspects of life or try and change my values so I'm not so heavily reliant on another person to fufill me?

Answer 1

Break up with him NOW! Trust me, later on down the road, when you fall in love with him and you'll want to make your relationship into something more and want to get married or get far into deep with him, he'll dump you because of his career and what not.

So dump him NOW or face the consequences later.

Sorry to tell you that but you should talk to him about this before you break it off.

Answer 2

Your guy is a typical young guy. When I was young, I was *sure* I'd be an astronaut. Eventually, I settled for a profession in-between. It is human instinct to be so overtly ambitious at a young age that we see any potential 'roadblock' as a threat. Your boyfriend is going through that phase. If he is like any other sane guy and he doesn't make it into filmaking, he'd eventually come around to what a lot of us do once we reach the prime of our lives - settle down. The question is - are you willing to risk the uncertainities of the situation and wait it out that long (if it takes)? If not, then it would be wise to look elsewhere.



And no, don't change your values for a relationship, if these values are what makes you happy. Compromising on things that make you happy are too much of a compromise.

Answer 3

some differences are good...and yeah - even if you get along and have fun together, some of your core values need to be the same. For sure, he could change over time...and so could you....but usually the goal is to change the bad things about ourselves and become better people - NOT to change our core - or who we are for someone else.



If he changes now - he will resent you...and if you change this now, you will resent him. Either way - it isn't good. I recommend finding someone that has the same future in mind that you do. GOod luck.

Answer 4

This is going to do more then to just fix your values, its not your fault that you don't know what to do yet, and I completely understand why your looking for romance right now. I think it is probably the best to break it off before you do fall for him.

Because even if you guys try to work it out, it will take much more then that more problems will develop.

Answer 5

intercourse has continuously been actual exhilaration for human beings. look on the purple gentle Districts, the porn industry, and so on and so on. Yeah it serves a objective for replica, in spite of the undeniable fact that it rather is nonetheless pleasureable and it rather is in basic terms with 'civilization' that what people have been doing for as a result long is seen as something so sacred and so on. What cost exchange into placed on intercourse continues to be placed on it. yet come on, there have been prostutes interior the middle an prolonged time, the entire 'loose love' mentality interior the 60s, and so on and the lack of awareness approximately intercourse and stds as present day with the aid of fact the 90s (thinking AIDS must be transmitted by utilising saliva and so on and so on and so on). Now that all of us comprehend greater approximately intercourse and are certainly greater knowledgeable often approximately what it truly is, the outcomes are bittersweet. So "society" talks approximately intercourse overtly now, all of us comprehend greater approximately it, it rather is not as taboo, and individuals are greater open in sharing approximately their intercourse lives, so human beings think of the morals are long gone. i think of intercourse heavily isn't taboo anymore so human beings do it greater for specific and that they communicate approximately it. human beings have been cheating on one yet another interior the previous, yet they did not communicate approximately it. toddlers have been having intercourse with one yet another interior the previous, yet they did not communicate approximately it. human beings interior the previous enjoyed intercourse, yet they did not overtly communicate approximately it as lots with the aid of 'values and morals' of the day. i don't motivate uneducated toddlers to have ignorant intercourse with one yet another, yet in different circumstances, intercourse is something human beings shouldn't feel embarrassment approximately doing.

Answer 6

If your life goals are not the same, then the relationship is pointless.

Answer 7

never ever ever change your moral compass, beliefs, or values for ANYONE , much less a guy....be true to yourself, and you'll always be happy....dump the guy, keep your integrity.....guys will come and go in your life, but you only have one soul.

Answer 8

just wait around a guy will come around evenutally you don't need him even if you say you do love him you can find someon else