Sharing living expenses with my partner?

Question

I am starting to resent my boyfriend, basically my boyfriend and I have fell in love with each other and both decided to move in with me since i was in a house he was living with his brother. The question I have is how should we plan on splitting living expenses with each other, Rent, utilities (internet, water trash, electric) groceries etc. He makes decent money, only has a car payment but has yet to contribute to any bills since we have been living together.
He has told me that he wants to help, i told him i will leave the bills in a specific place he can pay what he chooses but when i leave the bills out he does nothing with them they literally just stay there, i just end up paying them otherwise they will be past due. He said he will pay the electric bill when it comes out. He does ask about them only when he sees me online paying for the bills or later on, but has never offered to pay cash for any of them or offered his share. I feel like I am contributing to living expenses for the both of us on my dime while he is just stock piling his money while I am paying for everything. I personally dont want him to feel like i am dependent on him but i also dont want to feel like i am being used financially at the same time i dont like to ask for money. When he does go to the store he gets things for him like snacks for his lunch for work, etc most things i do not eat or like. I am doing all of the cooking and 90 percent of the cleaning and house chores as well. Any advice..

Answer 1

Advice? Why do you have to tell a grown @ss man to pay the bills? You ARE being used, and not just financially. He's a freeloading mooch who knows that you have no self esteem. Of course you won't do it, but you need to kick that motherfvcker to the curb - yesterday.

Answer 2

He pays at least 50% of the monthly bills or he's back with his brother. Make copies of the bills, divide them in half and tell him he owes you "$x." If he balks, or refuses altogether, you need to have a SERIOUS talk about where the relationship is going.

Answer 3

Did he think he was invited to live with you as a "kept man"? Because that's how he's acting. Half-hearted pretensions that he'll pony up but he doesn't and you don't require it. Like you adopted a boy you have sex with. Momma. That is off putting. Unless you like it.



You don't want him to feel you are dependent on him? How about you don't want him to feel like he's a gigolo? Because that is far more what's happening now. He services you so you support him and take care of him and likely clean his bathroom. That's nuts. You prepare a household budget and he is required to pay half. You prepare a household chore list and it gets split as negotiated. This man isn't living with you because it's.... cheaper for him than anywhere else? That's a horrible reason. Want more for yourself! Require more for yourself! And start it on the first of next month. There is a budget and an agreement made on how the two of you address it. You've adopted a boy you have sex with. Put an end to that. It's growing really tiring really soon.



Did he live for free off his brother? Was there someone else before that?

Answer 4

Tell him how much he owes you for his half of the rent and living expenses. Write it out for him, and how you arrived at that amount, if need be. Then ask him when he will be able to pay you his part. You're not a free hotel and maid service. Let him go back home to his momma if that's what he wants.

Answer 5

um and you didn't discuss the money and rent issues BEFORE you let him put all of his crap in your house? kinda your fault. he's mooching off of you because you can't say no or step up. sounds like a deadbeat to me. not a very good boyfriend, roommate, anything.



as for the food shopping, get your own crap. and for the cooking, cook your own crap, clean your own crap. he'll have to do his own if he's that hungry.