cmona
2009-11-08 10:17:32 UTC
our relationship seems like almost at the end now...and i feel lonely,empty and drained. i have put all myself to this relationship - made a lot of efforts and been faithful and completely devoted to him.
now he is depressed, confused about his feelings for me and still doubting on his ex. we talked last night on the phone for 2 hours. at the end of the conversation he sent to me a text saying that "he is a troubled soul, unhappy man and he does not understand his life and how i can tolerate to stay in it "I tried to call him the morning after but he did not accept my phone call neither my texts/only this afternoon he sent to me an email saying : "ive got some things in my mind that I need to sort out. Okay? Try to sleep, enjoy the rest of your weekend,week.."
that's it. I really think that's it. i feel lost empty and lonely.
This relationship is a mess but the most beautiful and most important part of my life. I have a good life, happy family and friends and this will sound weird to you but ... he has some Unhealthy attraction to girls who are COMPLETELY ALONE in life and that need a lot of help and support. it makes it feel like a MAN. i find it very unhealthy but at the same time I hate the fact that he does not realize that I DO NEED HIM in my life no matter how fortunate i am! he cannot feel me HIS for real bc of these things and this is very sad and unfair to me.
I think this is the end -- why am I venting here? Because I have the hope to read some advice/suggestion from you on HOW TO MANAGE THIS BREAKING UP.Some of you might think "long distance wold make it easier to move on" BUT to me is the opposite. I will DEFINITELY have no chance to see him again not even one last time- I will have NO Idea of what he is doing tomorrow, how he feels, if he is happy or not, how life is treating him, if he is safe or in trouble........itd be possible to bump into each other someday if close but THIS IS a real NIGHTMARE. i am crying whiel i write this because FACING THE TRUTH IS THE MOST DIFFICULT THING even if the rightest one.
PLEASE HELP ME.I AM IN REAL PAIN.I Was used to call him up, send him many many texts emails very often, call him up at my nights which would be his days bc of the timezone....he still made my day even if his presence was not here. I FEEL LIKE I AM ABOUT TO GO CRAZY.