I'm sick of being alone but I'm sick of dating. What should I do?

Question

I'm sick of going out to bars and seeing people get drunk. I hate smelling like smoke when I come home. I'm sick of staying here too. I stay at home all hours I'm not at work and it's starting to get real boring. I'm sick of going to church due to the way they point me out and reticule me for buying a new car and a pool this year instead of donating money to the church. I'm sick of the way women treat me too. I'm sick of their "it's cute to be stupid" attitudes. I hate the way they always have an excuse to not be around me. What can I do to take my mind off all this BS?

Answer 1

going to bars was never the place to find someone. As far as church you need to find a different one. When you go to church you are suppose to leave there feeling refreshed and better than you did when you went in, unless you are not right with God. Now as far as cute to be stupid, well maybe you are looking at the wrong ladies, more than likely you are looking at the model type but lets just say beauty is only skin deep. I know from experience that because I am not a drop dead gorgeous lady that the guys will not even give me the time of day. My suggestion is quit looking for the trophy girl. Get some hobbies, my suggestion would be scuba diving it is lots of fun.

Answer 2

I'm with you there! I think that if the guy is man man enough, he will come to you...you don't have to go to bars, and whatever else to look for him.

Also, have you thought about courting? It's basically dating, but with marriage as the end result (as long as things go well...but you start as friends first which eliminates a lot of the problems). A good book to read on courting is I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris.

While you're single though, enjoy it! Right now you have the opportunity to do so many things that married people can't do. I'd encourage you to make a list of 10 things you want to do while you're single. It'll make being single a little bit more fun. You also might want to pick up a hobby or travel a bit.

About the church thing....I think perhaps it's just the church you're going to. True Christianity isn't like that. The church I go to isn't like that at all. Perhaps you just need to look around a little bit.

Best of luck!

Answer 3

What can you do to take your mind off of all the bs?

Y/A ! If I think I have a lot of problems, I can get on Y/A and find a lot of ppl much worse off than me.

For the record, I'm in my 50's and I've never been married, and I like girls. My last date was back during Gulf War 1. Now, I've been alone for so long, I prefer it.

And that line you wrote...."It's cute to be stupid", boy does that bring back memories.

Hang in there.

Answer 4

Get more formal education. Or, determine to learn something of magnitude, and learn it exhaustively.



Also, do not look for a woman. I do not mean to go inactive over it, I mean as a way of thinking do not be in "looking for a woman" mode at all. But talk to them normally. Let them be just people, in your thinking.



When the topic is relevant, tell what it is that you'd be after if you were looking. That is, if it comes up in conversation, say exactly what relationship terms you'd have.



For example, if you'd want to have long term, female friends with whom you have sex but no commitments and with full privacy and freedom for everybody involved, say that. Any takers, great. If not, you weren't looking for any anyway. Remember, your focus is on enhancing your education.



Best,

TQRP

Answer 5

Have you ever tried online dating sites? They actually work, I hated the bar scene, so I tried a few dating sites and met a special guy. BUT it depends on what you want, love or lust. Eharmony and match are okay but I wanted someone that shared my views of religion so I took that route and it worked out for the best. And as far as the "cute to be stupid" thing goes AMEN! I'm 22 and "Stupid girls" by Pink has turned into my anthem, but that actually is the beauty to those sites, your matched according to compatibility and if you don't like that "dumb girl" routine then you can say that and they filter them out.

Answer 6

WOW! You really need to stop taking things so seriously. Do the things that you like to do. Whatever they may be. Indulge yourself. Do it alone or in the company of someone you have something in common with and who you respect, but try to have some fun. Life is short but it can seem long and drawn out the way you're going about it. Get up and get out and do something fun.That's an order!

Answer 7

You might start out by being sick of being sick. The conversation that you are having with yourself must really suck.Nothing is good enough for you, is it? Quit using your own conversation like a monkey uses a hammer and perhaps something positive can come out of your sick view of everything around you.

Answer 8

Get some hobbies, go do something you've never done before, make your life more interesting. A girl doesn't want to date someone who's a boring person. Expand your social circle make new friends etc..

Answer 9

@ least you do date! lol

yeah, i know people that think it's cute to be stupid... i have dumb moments, but i don't try to ACT dumb. (retarded)

hang out with a different social croud. instead of hittin' bars

( thinking you might find somebody smart lol ) go to a coffee shop or a poetry reading, a library, and raise your standards. you can find a person with a brain there!

good luck!

:0)

Answer 10

get away from everything. being around things your annoyed at or you don't like wont get you anywhere but depression. your prob lookin in the wrong places to "chill". find something you like. what's your passion? what did you wanna do when you were a kid? what are your dreams? go find what makes you happy and do it. don't settle for less. instead of going to bars to spend your time thinkin, go somewhere peaceful and quiet. you'll be surprised at what you find yourself saying. sometimes you just need to talk to yourself to find what makes you happy, instead of always running away

Answer 11

i know how your feeling at this moment i got on the bus the other day and there was all these peopled coupled up and i thought why not me but if your single you have nobody to tell you wat to do you neva get a girl mistakenly pregnant you never have a girl putting pink things in your house and her perfume and makeup every where and your free to do what you do intill you find the right one then everything i mentioned would not bother you at all

Answer 12

Heck, forget the bars, go out with friends, hang out out home with friends. He**, you just got a new pool, enjoy the heck out of it. Have your own house parties, and who the he** cares about what other people think of you, its what you think of youself that counts!

Answer 13

go to your local college and take a fun class

you'll learn something, and you'll mingle with better quality women

school is always the best place to meet people, not bars

Answer 14

"Its cute to be stupid"? Wow. You must have gotten burned really bad, huh? If you act like a big grump around women its no wonder they dont want to be around you. Suck your bottom lip in and act like a grown up.

Answer 15

well i kno u r over 21 and well maybe u should go for a vacation and try to meet some people there and well ask people on yahoo ?s if anyone willing to be your friend

Answer 16

Maybe it's your attitude.It sounds as if you are just so great and everyone envies you.Wake up and take a long hard look at yourself.The answer is in there keep looking.

Answer 17

hey lets stared a club lol i am 29 years old and sick of beening alone but tried of getting hurt and my heart briken by man but miss not haveing one around to hold me in his arms when i dont have one but sick to death of dateing. getting to old for this ****.

Answer 18

Pick up speed dating.



It's dating, but it's over quick enough you'll feel like you never left the house.

Answer 19

you are in the same boat as a lot of us guys lol. you just have to play the waiting game for her to come to you. when you look for them it doesnt usually work unless your clooney lol. just work on giving yourself more to offer a girl who would want to be with you.

Answer 20

well get off your butt and fine a greate women who is tired of those same things and then you 2 will live happily ever after!

Answer 21

i feel the same way sometimes...i just try to mind my own business and forget what other people think or say

Answer 22

you need what we used to call an attitude adjustment, is there anything you like? you must rethink your way of thinking about things.

Answer 23

get a dog =)

they're cute.. loyal.. and usually listen to you

plus you get to bring them to the beach/park

where you can get exercises..etc



and MILLIONS of them get put to sleep each year

=( so you should go save one

Answer 24

Easy...take a vacation!

Answer 25

I think you need me, i for one can make you happy in all ways more then one.

Answer 26

get a pet.

Answer 27

well that sucks for you duznt it.

Answer 28

dont date just get friends that ok with wat you want to doo and what you wish to do