Okay, can you help me?

Question

okay so where do i start... i bet we've all tried these internet dating thingys, and ive never believed that they would work. But about 8 months ago i met a guy and we were just good friends, and i helped him out though his troubles and we soon became best freinds, now about a month ago im having feelings for him and he said he had feelings for me too, and these feelings that i have are very strong (and i know hes not a perv or anything through webcam and photos etc) the problem i have is that if i ever wanted to meet up with this guy (we've talked about this to each other) i could never find a way because my parents are so strict... if they even found out that i was even dating across the net i would be dead. i know most of you probably think of this as being a silly lil thing over the net, but we generally really really like each other.... and i dont know what im meant to do

Answer 1

This is a great question, because the future says that a situation like this will become very common with more and more people using this technology. Plus, it is hard to meet people in an age where pride and individuality is so important. Meeting people in real life that do the same thing you do, or play on a team you play on, etc. is fine for when you engage in that activity. But then, it's over and you part ways. With the internet, it seems like that particular 'other person' is avaliable all the time, and has no restrictions on what he or she can say. There is nothing held back, and it seems like you "see" that person for what he or she really is. That kind of thing is easy to fall in love with - the best picture that someone else can paint of themselves.

Of course, the fears of that "virtual reality" are present, and that is that this person is NOT who they say they are - a completely justifiable concern. I have a buddy online that likes to joke that he tells people he owns 200,000 sheep on the hillsides of New Zealand, and his family is worth millions.... only because no one can prove him otherwise. The point is that anyone can say anything, and for any reason.

However, your situation might be very true, and it could end up that you and this person never leave each other's side for the next 70 years. But that is only a speculation.

The reality right now, is that you are not in control of your life, being a child under the care of your parents. I am glad that you respect their wishes, and honor their intentions for you.

I have a suggestion: Sit down with your parents and tell them that you met this person online. When you sit down to tell them, bring with you come printouts of conversations you've had that have shown you that this person is who you might think he is. Get your parents on your side about this, and don't oppose them. Also, have a plan in mind that requires thier approval of possibly meeting this person. If you have to travel, have a time and place already established, so that they are not inconvenienced because they will be with you every second. Have travel prices, avaliable hotels, etc... whatever is needed if this is what you want to do.

Then, meet in a public place, bring your photo albums, etc., and insist that he also has his parents/guardians with him.

I've been very lengthy about this for 2 reasons. One, I know what online dating might become, and the potential/need for it. And two, there is no minimum of saftey that you should be doing. EVERY precaution is necessary. One one hand, you might not like him at all in real life, and you stop interacting all together. On the other hand, you meet someone that, if you stay the way you are, you might marry one day and live happily ever after.

Good luck!

Answer 2

First of all, you sound like you're too young to be involved in such heady activities. You don't mention what kind of age difference there is, or what kind of distance separates you.

You do mention your parents are strict, and you'd be dead if they ever found out what you were doing over the Internet.

I know this sounds like lecturing, which I'm sure you don't want to hear: but either stop all of your activities of confess to your parents what's been going on.

OK, I'm an old guy, but how can you be "dating" across the net?

Doesn't "dating" involve going to a movie, grabbing a burger, or taking in a high school football game?

If it's sex you're searching for, I can only offer advice based on my own experience: it's worth waiting for! If this guy really cares for you - and you care for him - you'll both be together when you're old enough and mature enough to make these kinds of decisions on your own. If you're not, it wasn't meant to be anyway. Instant gratification isn't always what it's cracked up to be. I wish I could impress upon you how important it is to be open and honest with your parents. Maybe they would be little more lenient if there was more trust between the three of you. Be safe. Be cautious. Be smart. Be truthful. -RKO-

Answer 3

This is what you do.. If he's local in your area this is even easier.. Meet him if you feel the situation is safe.. meet up in a public area, maybe a gathering ask him to bring a friend and you'll bring your friend. Do this in the daytime!! See i met mine on the net too.. when i was 17 and we been together for almost 7 years now.. but if everything is cool keep seeing him, tell your parents that you met him at the mall, etc. If he's in another state.. then your just going to have to keep him as an internet buddy.. call him your internet boyfriend and leave it at that.. Go out and meet a real boy in your area.. he's not the only one out there. plus im sure he's tight with some other female in his area..

Answer 4

How old are you, seriously, don't even think about it unless you're 18, and even then DONT DO IT.

This guy could tell you anything you want to hear, and pretend not to be a perve, predetors know how to charm and seduce impressionable minds, and I'm sorry to say that he may have done the same thing to you.

I dont mean to insult you, but honesty is the best policy, and im giving it to you right now. DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.



Of course if you don't want to heed the above advice, at least be sensible, take someone else with you, or at least let someone know where you are going, make sure it is a public place, in the day time! Just to be safe. And be careful.



Andy Out.

Answer 5

I am going to tell you a story I seen on T.V. It was 20/20 or the news something like that. After the story you can make your own choice. I personally do not recomend you meet this guy without your parents approval.



There was this lady who was dating online. She had her date come to her house. (first mistake) She thought he was real nice and he never said anything out of line. When he got to her house he attacked her and tried to rape her. She must have thought this could possibly happen because she had a gun under her couch and luckly she was able to protect herself.



I don't agree meeting this guy mainly because your parents will be upset if they find out. If something bad happens to you they will blame themselves for not being good parents.



If you do decide to this you must let someone know where you going to meet this guy.(Public place.) What time you will be there and what time you will be back. You call this person as soon as your home. You don't go for a ride this guy. You should take a friend with you and someone should have a cell phone. (Just incase)



Now if you do this and it ends up good and you guys want to start hanging out. Will you be hiding this behind your parents back. Sooner or later you will get caught.



I would tell you to talk to your parents and have them go with you but I already know that you don't want to do that. (you stated they are strict and would be mad if they new you were talking to this guy online.)



My advice don't do it but if your going to do it please be safe.

Answer 6

Ok ia have a question first.... how old are you and how old is he. No I don't think meeting people over the net is silly as long as you are safe and smart about it. And so far it sounds as if you are trying to be just that. Judging by the fact that you need parental permissionmeans you areunder age. if he is above age,hoepefully its abovean legal age and youre' not 12 and he's 42... :) anyways, if you are like 17 and he's 18 let him come to you.... if he really likes you he may... depending on his situation of course, but if he can come to you and you share the cost, maybe he can stay at a hotel or something like that.... he may be willing to if hereally likes you

Answer 7

Are you people insane telling this girl to follow her heart and meet him. She's not even an adult if she needs her parents permission. Are you all fools!!!



First of you can't tell if he is a pervert by his pictures. What does a perve look like? Let's get real... a murder, rapist, or kidnapper doesn't have to have scraggly hair and tattoos. He can look just as normal as you and me. ask yourself some questions...Why a meeting 8 months later? how can you really like someone or be attracted to someone you never met? Why would your parents be against it? Why is he a secret? What were his problems that needed fixing? Why can't he talk to anyone in life about his problems?



Just think about, don't jump into a situtation that you may not be able to get out of.

Answer 8

First of all you sound very young. Especially to be considering the annoyance your parents would have with this predicament. Second, internet dating is very VERY dangerous. There are many sexual predators out there that are looking for young girls that will fall into this very trap. Third, if you insist on meeting this guy in person (which it sounds to be the case) you have to realize that there is safety in numbers. Get together with a friend, don't meet him alone, and meet him in a busy place like a mall. This way you are shopping in the mall with your friend but you are also meeting this potential guy in a safe environment with backup.

Answer 9

It sounds like you are pretty young. You have all the opportunity in the world to meet guys that live near you that you know better than some guy you met on the internet. It is scary how many messed up people are out there preying on vulnerable kids. I would seriously not try to meet someone for a relationship on the internet. It is not worth risking your life over.

Answer 10

That depends on how old you are, sweetie. I wouldn't meet another guy in person that I met online again in a million years. Most of the one's that I have met have turned in to complete wierdo's!!!!!!!! But, honestly, if you're not old enough to get away from your parents every now and then (movies, mall, ect.) maybe you should just be computer friends with this guy. Because the next argument will be this "my parents won't let me date my bf because I'm too young".

Answer 11

Why don't you sit down with your parents and tell them you met a guy across the internet. And that he's really nice and everything, and that you guys really hit it off. Also talk to him, and tell him that if he would like to meet you, it would have to be with your parents. If he agrees he's trully a good person, and your parents will notice that. Usually guys don't want to meet the girl's parents. Then, when they meet him, they'll see how much you guys like each other and will let you start dating for real. I hope I helped =D

Answer 12

You don't tell us your age. If you are old enough, then you have every right to meet up with him. If you are not old enough, then your parent's protective nature is there for a reason.



Just because you've known someone for quite some time, doesn't mean you know them completely. I hope for your sake that this guy is genuine...but just be careful.



Regarding your parents...I think that honesty is the best policy. They may go bonkers about it, but if you are clear that you would like to meet up with this guy, wouldn't it be better to do so with your parent's knowledge...even if that meant your dad staying somewhere close until he knew you were safe?

Answer 13

i would say to continue to be in contact with him until you are 18, then you could meet him. in a public place would be best with a friend by your side. be sure he isn't a creep. please be careful though, a picture and some typed words cannot ensure this man isn't a predator. the odds are that he isn't but bad people use the Internet to pray on young people.your parents are right to be opposed to the idea. do not meet him alone and don't tell him where you live.us females have intuition, so when you do meet him, listen to you're gut. if you feel like it isn't right get the heck outta there. good luck

Answer 14

You sound far too young to be meeting anyone over the internet. Internet dating is for mature, experienced adults only. Young people need to learn through experience and their own peer group. I would be very worried if I were your parents. Even adults who meet over the net, think its risky and use numerous safeguards to ensure their safety. I would not meet this guy on your own ever! You cannot tell what someone is really like until you meet them face to face.

Answer 15

Most of dates are on internet and most of break up are on internet too.Ok,but don`t be sad,why?cause I`m sure if is made to be togheter,you will!maybe if you can go to a trip,or to mall for a day and ask him if it`s ok ,just to meet ...probably if you ar e interested he will search you again.You should also talk with your parents and tell them why are they married?If I would be you,your parents sholud rent a apartament to a beach or something.If the things are more than that,your parents sholud not be a problem.If your parent`s insist above this problem,you sholud run with him.Would be the last solution(or not)and probably weard:)

Answer 16

It's understandable that your parents may go mad but it's only because they care for you.



I think that if you really like one another as much as you say you do then surely yo can wait till your older...if your that mad about each other then you and him would be willing to wait.



Make sure he also understands how strict your parents are too...but try not to scare him off.



You don't have to let your parents know how you met him.

If you do decide to meet him, lie to your parents but tell atleast three friends where you are so your safer then.



You've gotta be careful when talking to people online...I know i sound like such a granny but it's true.



GoodLuck



;-)

Answer 17

I know there is a big stigma attatched to dating from net meetings, but that just seems to be the way things are. I met my husband in a pub, but if the internet was around then & I met him there instead, I would have stuck my fingers up at everyone who disagreed & went out with him anyway.

Good luck whatever you decide to do & if you do go for it, go slowly!

Answer 18

I think that if your that young and your parents are involved. You should be extra careful. There are many sex predators on the net. You should be extra careful. Have you talked to him on the phone at all? Cell phone numbers only. Also, if you do decide to meet him go to a mall and have your girlfriends go with you and tell them EVERYTHING you know about the guy. Have them watch your back. Just be careful. People die like that.

Answer 19

ummm i dont think you really have an option of meeting him if your parents are this strict? All i can suggest it that maybe you ask them if you could meet him, i dont know what age you are, but if you're kinda young you shouldnt be allowed meet strangers off the net anyway.

MAybe if you are older - like 16 upwards - ask your parents if this guy could come to your hose and hang out there when your parents are on the premises.

If they dont agree I think you're better off forgetting about this guy - you'll have loads of time for men when you're older

Answer 20

Evidently you are under 18. In that case you need to either tell your parents what's going on so that they can protect you, or hold off on meeting this person until you are a legal adult. Don't be so absolutely certain that you really know this person as well as you think you do. Thousands of people have been fooled online.

Answer 21

I don't think internet dating is safe. You can be an honest person to the person that you are talking to, and that person does not have to be honest with you. He could be telling you that he is a male and he might be a female. There are other things to to think about when you are on the net wit people that you don't know.

Answer 22

Continue to date him over the internet until you are old enough not to have to answer to your parents. By then you will have had a long relationship and you'll know how to handle yourself.



BTW, your parents are probably right. You also can't tell what kind of a person this fellow is by looking at him over the web cam. For all you know, if he panned right or left there could be a stack of bodies!

Answer 23

you never knew that you would fall for this guy, if anything just be honest with your parents, they're only looking out for your best interest. Yeah, you could lie and tell them you met this guy somewhere else or see this guy behind there back, but losing your parents trust is the worst, trust me on that. your feelings are valid regardless of what other people think.

Answer 24

How old are you? Email or IM me if you want.A friend of mine was under the same situation,you see her father is my best friend,she was 16.She is now almost 20.Any way,just be carefull.Because my friend met this guy that didn't drink,drug,molest,rape or murder"NEVER IN HIS LIFE".Well she followed through with inviting him up state PA where she is still now located,and he was arrested in the city of Wilkes Bare PA,yeah.1 hr away.He made it to the news and come to find out,this carachtor was in violation of his parole in the state of MD.For beating his GF to death in DE.He is where he belongs now for the rest of his life.Think about it.I'm not preaching i just don't like people that slither into someones life with alot of BS,and read about them in the paper,be carefull :)

Answer 25

If your parents are still telling you what to do,you need to listen to them on this subject.Just because a person acts one way on the computer,doesn't mean he will act like that in person.Every day we hear of people looking for dates with young girls on the net that ends in tragedy.If you really want to meet him in person,you have to be adult enough to tell your parents.

Answer 26

Do what you're able to do whilst ANY buddy comes over, carry out and communicate or play video games or circulate do any of the thousand different issues pals do. you at the instant are not getting married, no ought to make this a production of any sort.

Answer 27

Just ask your parents or if you are sleeping over with a friend then just leave for a date with him that night so your parents would never find out.

Answer 28

If you see that he is really a nice guy through the webcam, and see that he's really your age, why not? But...But...be very very careful, who knows he is not what he seems to be, but if you really are best friends, and he's never been perverted, then I'd trust him.

Answer 29

ooooh girl! I feel for you!! ok, first off, it's good you know he's not a creep, but does he live in the same state as you? and if so, is he under a half and hour away? If so, get HIS phone number, restrict yours (*67) and start chatting, if you still like him, introduce him (by phone) to your parents and take it from there. I'd say alot more but I gotta go, my rides here! good luck girl, and PLEASE BE SAFE!!

Answer 30

Go for it! But still be really careful, no matter how well you think you know this guy. By seeing him personally things could change, if you know what I mean.

Answer 31

Listen,you really don't know this guy yes I know you guys have been talking,chatting over the net and sending each other pictures but there are allot of people out there that are really crazy and they are very smart you really don't know him.Be very careful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 32

well i dont no if he lives far away from u

if u really like him u two should figre out something good

i am sure u will get through

u can bascially talk on the phone

Answer 33

it can work (esp if you've done webcam) but meet in a public place with maybe a friend for moral support (just in case). i know it sounds bad but do your parents have to know?? DO tell SOMEONE though.

Answer 34

Dear,

How u know that every thing he tell u is true.if ur heart beleave him.If u r in love with him go a head .If u decided to get ur aim and want to get it then donot question about (the way or dificulties) of ur aim go.. go...go and get it ..

Answer 35

Um, I suggest waiting till you are old enough to make your own descisions... That might help. And if he isn't willing to wait for you, then you guys were NOT meant to be! Just go and ask him if he is willing to wait a couple years.

Answer 36

You mean you "genuinely" like eachother,right?..Anyways,I think internet dating is bad business if you're under 18.

Answer 37

Run away from home and join him. Love will find a way.

Answer 38

======================



Meet in a public place like at

the mall and take a friend

with you just in case.



======================

Answer 39

IF its real it will still be there when you can go see him you know like when you turn 18

Answer 40

Maybe your parents will chaperone you at a reastaurant or some place like that.

Answer 41

All I can say is that if its ment to be love will find a way to make it happen

Answer 42

well meet at a public place mall, restaurant or something. take a few friends and go from there..

Answer 43

Wait until you're grown up enough to not envolve your parents.

Answer 44

How old are u? Just cuz you see pics doesn't mean that's really him. That could be anyone. Stay away!!!

Answer 45

Leave it alone. How old are you? Sounds like he is older.Can turn into an ugly situation. Leave it alone.

Answer 46

look

if u live close go ahead and meet him

but if u live kinda far well u probly cant

Answer 47

Here's a tip for any problem you may have in life:



Get a good lawyer.

Answer 48

i think what you should do is ask him to go to your city and meet him at like a restorant or something. he will get a motel and you will see him everyday. it perfect i know.

Answer 49

If you are over 18yrs, why would your parents have a problem?

Answer 50

follow your heart

Answer 51

you should see him in person

Answer 52

best advice tell your folks how old is this guy and how old are you?

Answer 53

how old r u

Answer 54

Fake story, i can detect by the wordings lie, totally lie, just try to ask a question, getting other attentions, that's it ,.,fake ,.,.,,,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,{*~^},.,.,

Answer 55

If you are underage you should stop it now

Answer 56

search your feelings

Answer 57

How old are you?

Answer 58

give up

Answer 59

*****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 60

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