I am depressed because I'm lonely. Will things ever get better?

Question

I am depressed because I'm lonely. Will things ever get better?

Answer 1

My life is very isolated at the moment, I go for days without leaving the house, I have no friends whatsoever, and I only go out twice a week because my parents take me out to places. I'm autistic so things can be difficult for me, I'm 21 years old soon to be 22, I have lived an isolated life for over 2 years now but I'm slowly trying to get somewhere in my life, I'm getting help by seeing someone every two weeks, I haven't had a boyfriend in 4 years and only ever talk to my family. Boyfriends are not everything, I too would love a boyfriend but it's not everything, having a career, friends is more important you are still young so don't worry about it yet :) I see myself having a boyfriend again when I am 26/27 I am in no rush I need to build my life first with help :) things WILL get better believe that and they will(for both of us), you always meet the right man when you least expect it.

Answer 2

Only 22. Not the end. You don't see a future for yourself? WELL WELL WELL You are very normal. Don't try to see a dark future, because it doesn't exist like that. You will be surprised with what comes in life for you next. I promise :) You are beautiful. I would say stay strong, but there's no point to staying strong for depressing thoughts, for they are just thoughts. Depressing thoughts are always made up. I can't even say "don't let them get to you." because only you can drive them to yourself. There's no gravity forcing depression on you as you are under. You only take yourself there and out. Forget history. It's only a story. Today is a new day that has nothing to do with the past. It's 1 in the morning here, but you get me.

Answer 3

I'm really glad to hear that you're catholic and religious, and so am I. And dont worry, I fell depressed as well and sometimes still am because of family issues, friends, and loneliness. I have two very close friends who I consider my friends, others are just acquaintances. I used to cut myself with scissors, tried killing myself twice. But God made me realize, killing myself is disrespecting the life he had given me to fulfill his plan.God has a plan for everyone. Whether it'd be a small task, or a big one. I'm 18, and I recently broke up with my girlfriend because she was treating me like a pet/slave, but then I realized that "looking for the one" usually leads up to just not meeting the right one. So I figured that instead of looking for one, I'll just wait until "the one" comes along. Trust me, I know I'm young, but experiences differ from age. I'm still a virgin because I don't want to just waste my virginity to any girl that's attractive. Even when I go to parties at occasions and girls come to me, I don't have sex, making out is the most I would go. So don't worry about being single/lonely, someone will definitely come along. And if you ever need a friend to talk to, I'm here. (sorry if some parts of the comment didn't make sense, I dont really know how to express my thoughts to words very well)

Answer 4

Life is not about doing or having, accomplishing goals, creating memories, being moral, having relationships, none of it. Think about how much you change. How many things have seemed so important, then are totally forgotten. The experience of a single moment is enough to fulfill a person entirely. Life is about feeling alive. The way you breath, walk, talk, think, feel, everything you do, should be fascinating to you, and this should be the basis of your stability. You should feel like everything is just play. Western thinking has turned life into a stressful mess. I'm 24 and have been single with no sex for 7 years. I have found all things meaningful within myself. Joy, fear, hope, despair, love, hate, desire, lust, intelligence, ignorance, violence, compassion, the list goes on. I'm saying fall in love with anything, and you won't be lonely, sit outside and fall in love with the breeze. Love is a desperate attempt to unite, let the breeze flow into your lungs, and know unity.

Answer 5

I believe that it will change :) I'm Catholic too and have been depressed at times also. Remember that God has a plan (like you said) and that you don't necessarily need a man to be fulfilled! Maybe God has another plan for you. Or maybe He's saving you for someone special :) I think it's quite admirable that you're a medical student! Keep your head high, and if you wanna talk anymore, reply to this answer

Answer 6

You know, I was in a similar situation to you. I grow 20 years of my life thinking that will never be good enough. I never went out. I never understood how relationships worked. I just sat in my room and relied my comfort from the internet. But one day I realised if I keep thinking like this my life will go no where. The CHANGE starts with YOU. You need to back look in time and think about where it started. Ask yourself what happened. From there you must gradually learn to accept that what has happened can t be changed but now on I believe that I can change. Something I usually say to ask myself is that "What have I learnt from this?" thinking what happened and how I could make myself better for a next time. Things will become better when start thinking positively. After that love will fall into its place

Answer 7

Yes it gets better don't give up on life or love. Theres somebody for everybody

You just gotta pray to god to help you spiritually and emotionally and pray for god to bless you with a loving husband that will love you with has much love you give that you will have a blessed marriage and to prepare you for marriage to work on you and give you peace joy love and happiness god loves you



Death is not a option its never a option don't think that you won't find love

There's somebody waiting out there for you just pray for god to set you free from depression

And to work on you and prepare you to be a good wife and a servant of god that god will use you

Answer 8

I can completely empathise with the way that you are feeling. I am only 17 but what you said there - not about all the boyfriend stuff in particular - but not wanting to carry on and wanting love so badly, I really understand. It is so difficult as what I want to say to you is this: The world is your oyster. My dad says this to me all the time. Look at the positives in your life: you're a medical student - you are achieving academically/professionally, you are a pretty girl - POSITIVE, you are a good person - POSITIVE. Sometimes it is those of us who are more sensitive to others and whom are the good people, are the ones who get hurt. But that is what makes us special - we are hard people to find. Make the most of what you have got and use it. Everyone wants to find love - when you do find the right one, they will treat you well and with the respect that you deserve. You are still young and there is plenty of time to meet the one. So what if you're struggling right now? Things will change, if you change your perspective. I tell myself this all the time, as I feel I constantly feel sorry for myself. What is the point in dwelling? No point, only a heart that feels trampled on. You have to pick yourself up from it. And given whats happened in your life with boyfriends - they didn't deserve you. Next time, you will be more cautious and you know not to give your heart away. Life is all about learning, experiencing, knowing what path to take. You are the only one that can change things for yourself and I am a strong believer in that. Hope this helped you :)

Answer 9

Here's yet another reply to your post. It kind of surprises me that since you are in the medical profession, that you haven't sought the help of a professional or a therapist and/or if you have, you didn't indicate it in your post. I suggest that you do that very thing. I'm wondering if your clinical depression isn't stemming from the profession you chosen? Perhaps you're tired from all the studying? Maybe you need to take a break? You are wise to realize that God has a plan for you. You are still very young and learning the ways of the world. Take consolation and be happy in that you are bright enough to know what you want to be. So many young kids out there today have no direction and wind up being bums. Also be happy that you have family that supports you and cares about you. Keep seeking God's help and I am sure that you will get an answer as to what your role in life is to be. Ask for guidance and conformity to the will of God.



Update: Perhaps the guys you seek out are intimidated once they find out what you goals are and that you are a medical student? To this I say, hang only with guys who have the same interests as you and try not to flaunt your knowledge with answers, unless you're asked.

Answer 10

Light from the Door

As i climb to the top, of a bottomless pit

I fall to the bottom wear a rock used to sit

In its place stand four walls and a bed on the floor

Out of sight, at the top shines a light through a door

I built this cage to protect them from me

From the broken part of me they can’t see

If no one else sees it how can it exist?

Whilst I question its proof it persists to persist

In the darkness, the cold, the wind and the rain

The anger the sadness the tears and the pain

The question of questions remains to remain

Is this the truth or am i insane?

Never the less I have fallen before

Close to the top just an inch from the door

How many times can I fall to the floor

Until I say no I can’t take anymore?

It’s not a question of space or time

Or a question of having the strength to re-climb

It’s a simple matter of life or death

I will keep climbing until my last breath

will anyone join me in my climb?

will the light from the door always shine?

Will Family and friends that live in the light

Understand why I’m so far out of sight

I once had a dream that the door was so thin

Enough to be opened and let the light in

Down came a rope, tied in a knot

I held on so tight as I was pulled to the top

Only this time I was able to stand

A Figure in the doorway held out a hand

she said ‘its been one hell of a fight’

together, we walked out of the darkness and into the light

long before my final breath this dream of mine came true

the figure standing in the door? The hand belongs to you



I wrote this poem when I was feeling lonely and it made me feel better :)

Answer 11

I'm concerned that you think fate or some other moving hand will cause change. You will make the change. You can control your own happiness.



My wife and I have each taken the Myers and Briggs personality test. I'm a mild introvert and she's an extreme extrovert. She needs to be around people a lot more than me. My idea of a great vacation is hunting bear in the Yukon, away from civilization, and she wants to go to Mardi Gras or Oktoberfest. So there is no one-size-fits-all answer for everybody. I recommend that you assess what makes you happy and join clubs that involve similarly interested people, like paddlers clubs for kayakers or photo clubs or book clubs. Alternately, join a gym. Or you mentioned that you're Catholic. Are you practicing? You could easily get more involved with that to encounter others with similar interests. There's an adage that, "You can't catch fish if your bait isn't in the water."



This may sound flippant, but I like my dogs more than I like most people. They give unconditional love and are far more trustworthy. Maybe a pet would alleviate some loneliness.



But you need to stop this fatalism, like destiny has ordained that you will be alone. You can be as engaged or disengaged as you choose to be.

Answer 12

You sound like the female equivalent of me.

I don't want to be a hypocrite but I also don't want to give you false hope.

It sounds like you've at least achieved a lot in a short time so I'm sure your life will get even better and you will find love and a relationship; as for me, I've been slogging away since the age of 14 and haven't really got anywhere in life.

I suggest you reassess your situation once you turn 30; give things a chance as you are young. You are too valuable to commit suicide; you are a medical student after all. Where as I'm just a worthless organism that will be doing the world a favour by committing suicide once I've finished my good bye letters to family and friends; everything else is done and arranged so I'm almost all good to go.

Good luck.

Thank you ladies!

Answer 13

I am 26, I suffer from severe depression a lot older than you, I went to Uni to do Computer Science I was always even depressed there I was flunky, never had a great deal of mates and always done my best to rise above with more focus on activities that were more enjoyable. Rather than let my emotional problems get the best. Nowadays it has been harder recently (or lets say about 1 1/2 year ago) my father was murdered by my mother and this is serious, because she was psychotically depressed and disllusional of them having an affair and going bankrupt. Depression is something I would not say should be allievated so soon under ones pressure but take all time necessary if it is really bad. I always speak to a therapist once every week have you ever considered that?

Answer 14

Things will get better, but finding another person will not cure your depression, and it is not fair to place that expectation on anyone else. Perhaps you may need to reevaluate your statement in reverse, and confirm whether or not it is possible that you're lonely because you are depressed. Depression is an internal state, which is not dependent on a prospective partner. Perhaps the expectation that you should be coupled up with someone else like all your friends is one of the things you're depressed about, but there is certainly more to it. I would highly suggest seeking treatment for your depression before seeking a partner.

Answer 15

I was once you. I am now twice your age. When I was your age and even a bit younger, I was feeling like there was something wrong with me that I did not have someone. Holidays and special events, especially weddings and dances only make things worse when you are single and not with anyone. However, I became so desperate that I chose all the wrong men, just so I could have someone, because I too, was tired of waiting for someone good. Now I have learned from my mistakes, and I wish I could go back to your age and start again with what I have learned now. I would gladly enjoy my singleness, and just have fun. You can be single and have fun. I always thought other young women that did have someone in those early years used to look down on me because I didn't have someone and they did. Who knows where those women are today, 20 years later, they might even be divorced. Just as marriage is a gift from God (when you have found the right one), singleness (even if just for a period of time, short or long), can also be a gift from God. When you find the right one, if you are in tune to Him, He will let you know. As far as your depression, try not to be depressed about not having someone right now. Spend time with friends or family, do some volunteering, focus on a job or education. Things will fall in place when the time is right. Trust God. He wants nothing but the best for you, but in His timing. Take care.

Answer 16

Perhaps your feelings of being alone stem from a deeper feeling of feeling lost. You seem to have alot of stipulations about what is acceptable for a relationship. Are these your stipulations or the dictates of others? For some people, trying to make your actions suitable to others when you may want something else can cause you to feel isolated, afraid and sad. I.e lonely. It seems you are surrounded by people all the time so it follows that you are not allowing many to enter your sphere if you are lonely. The solution may be as simple as being open to your environment and making your own decisions as to what an acceptable mate/friend would be. You are obviously intelligent but intelligence itself won't bring you any happiness if it is only used to try to fit into so called acceptable parameters. How about you decide for yourself. You don't need any one's approval to live your life. You have tried letting others tell you the right things to do. Try listening to yourself now.

Answer 17

You just need a friend and a drink. You can find that at one place. Go to the bar on a Saturday night where everyone else goes and you'll be fine. Stop stressing so much and don't worry about what the #Haters say because we just call them #Fans. Be you and do you because nobody can love your live but you so #YOLO the **** out!!!!! Collage is suppose to be the best time of your life. Go to some parties and experience some ****. Only other thing I stay single till your last year.

Sincerely ☺ Just your average Fèmålë På©kër🏃Bâ©kër🏈





Advice from Milwaukee,Wisconsin

Answer 18

Of course, they will! Find a friend that likes most of the same things as you (video games, drinking, etc.) but also some different things. Then, do some things with them. You're 22, so you're an adult. Do whatever you want! Practice something you aren't so good at, maybe rest for 10-15 minutes, read a book, or anything that satisfies you!



~Cinimod_256

Answer 19

My wife and I have each taken the Myers and Briggs personality test. I'm a mild introvert and she's an extreme extrovert. She needs to be around people a lot more than me. My idea of a great vacation is hunting bear in the Yukon, away from civilization, and she wants to go to Mardi Gras or Oktoberfest. So there is no one-size-fits-all answer for everybody. I recommend that you assess what makes you happy and join clubs that involve similarly interested people, like paddlers clubs for kayakers or photo clubs or book clubs. Alternately, join a gym. Or you mentioned that you're Catholic. Are you practicing? You could easily get more involved with that to encounter others with similar interests. There's an adage that, "You can't catch fish if your bait isn't in the water."

Answer 20

I used to feel exactly the same as you, but 22 is very young to be talking about giving up. I was lonely and wanted someone to love from when I was your age. I'm now 35 and have been happily married for a few years. I didn't want to hear this at the time but give it time, don't rush it and it will happen.

Answer 21

First of all, you're preaching to the choir. I'm 24 and I'm also lonely. I've still never had a girlfriend or had sex. I literally have TWO friends I've had the past six years and I rarely even see them in person anymore. I still live with my parents, my sister and her husband, and my niece and nephews often visit, so at least I can say I have a family. But as far as non-family socializing, I virtually have no life in that category. I don't often depress over this but I have before in the past. There are still nights I get depressed as well.



Now, I'll comment on your situation. You sound like me. You're in the same age group as me, you love outdoor activities(like me), you like sports(like me), you're a Catholic(like me), you believe in God and practice his word(like me), and you like socializing(like me.) So, you say the men who like you tend to be middle-aged men? While I think this big of an age gap is odd, I wouldn't say someone is "desperate" for dating people over half of their age. However, it's your choice, so I won't judge you here. However, you then said the men you like tend to reject you. I understand you can't just date anyone, but maybe you should expand your horizons. Are you picky? If so, become less picky. I'm not picky at all and I've still struggled though. I would recommend doing this to help your situation out.



One difference between you and I is the self-esteem aspect. Unlike you, I still have a very high self-esteem and an abundance of confidence. Of course, our gender differences could explain this(since males tend to have a higher self-esteem than females.)



To answer your question, I don't know if things will get better or not, since I can't predict the future. However, things CAN get better-For the both of us. So, have faith in God and think positive. Hopefully, this will all change.

Answer 22

Action is the antidote to depression. I am talking about challenging your fears and trying some activities that you think you might like, but have some anxiety about trying. This is sometimes called "getting out of your comfort zone". Inertia and depression can be a comfort zone too, believe it or not. It's pretty exhilarating to face one's fears and find out how irrational they can be. Your self-esteem should NOT be reliant on others' accepting or rejecting you. People reject other people for all kinds of inane reasons we have no control over; don't torture yourself over it. May I suggest a little book I am finding helpful regarding "self-esteem". I think it is pretty old, perhaps a classic, and I found it in a thrift store; it's called "How to Raise Your Self-Esteem" and it's quite practical and direct. I think it quite possible you are picking the wrong men over and over and they sound like men who have trouble with commitment. If you listen well to a man as you get to know him you will find that at some point he nearly always "tips his hand" and reveals his issue, be it fear of commitment, substance abuse/addiction, anger management, etc. Listen to your intuition and don't be in denial ; you deserve to be loved, not just fix broken winged birds all the time. A therapist could help you take a look at what kinds of men you are drawn to and why. You will feel better about yourself when you take action and do something about the depression and feelings of hopelessness. Good luck and kick back at life; it's hard for a lot of people, you're not alone.

Answer 23

What you're going through right now, it is exactly where I am at. It feels like the whole world is falling apart, staring people on the street, that are hangout out with friends, laughing loudly and having fun. Just by seeing this makes me feel very small, I start thinking that I will never have such wonderful life, it has been kicking me inside out.

Nevertheless, I insist on making friends and find a good relationship, I also believe in God, and he is continiously rewriting our stories. Therefore, if we run away from opportunities, and expect miracles, it is questionable if anything will ever happen.

I'm going to try hard to make friends, and set my pride high. You should also try!

Answer 24

If you are so depressed without a good reason it means you have medical depression. You should see a doctor about this. You are in the right place as a medical student. Some medical students try to self diagnose. They get into psychiatry thinking they can cure themselves. But they can't. Don't go down that route. You should seek medical help from a student councillor.

Answer 25

Yes. But I don't think God controls your life, you do.

Start from the basics and work up.

Do the things you love and if you can't remember what they are do new things.

Don't take anti depressants because when you don't take them you'll feel worse. Think positively and have more confidence. Respect yourself and never criticise yourself. If anyone criticises you, accept that they don't see you for who you really are and move on. You deserve so much more and you will get it <3

Answer 26

You are a med student.. we need more doctors in this world.. so what if you can't find a good guy to be with.. I say forget all of that.. I am a 29 year old virgin male.. some people think i am gay but i couldnt get laid for the life of me!!.. anyways thank goodness i was born as a hermit.. so it isnt so bad for me and i actually feel happy when i am alone.. but i do need people around for like help with things like rent and other things that i cannot do on my own..



it is possible to be happy all on your own.. so what if you never get married or have kids.. earths population is almost at is maximum 10 billion.. i say just let it go.. in these times it isnt as important to be a mother..



I hope this helps.. good luck

Answer 27

Wow 22 years old and doing your thing! It seems you're setting yourself for greatness. Things can happen only if you believe within yourself. Believe you are deserving of love. Believe you have amazing qualities that a guy can't resist. Let them turn heads;)



Going into a relationship shouldn't be filling a void of loneliness; but already coming into a relationship already feeling amazing even without a partner. He becomes an addition to complement your already set qualities.



I am 28 years old and single. Yes dating can suck; but it's worth the process to figure if you mesh well. I am at a phase where I am enjoying the single life and building on my career. Again things can happen only if you let it. You have plenty of time. There isn't a rush to blend into society's imaginary time frame. Enjoy and have fun with it. No expectation to find "the one." Best of luck!!

Answer 28

things have changed a lot from my generation to yours. When I was dating a man would feel flattered if you'd ask for his hand in marriage (yeah I know how silly that sounds) but either the guy uses you because they don't know where you're coming from, or they miss your cue, or well frankly, you have to date 60 guys (dinner, stop overs) before you can find just one guy. And that's probably why there are things like eharmony.com and that's to try to help you weed out what you're not interested in. It used to be that only the men paid on the dating sites but today you have to thank your sisters for wanting to pay their own way so now you have to pay yours on websites to get listed to try to find your significant other.



While it used to be when a guy asked you out (but you hinted at that first that you wanted to go out with him) that he would take you to dinner and dancing and not expect more (of a good girl) and would continue to see you, while today a guy will meet you at a restaurant and at some point go to the bathroom (or say he left his lights on on his car and is going out to turn them off) and he never returns. America has lost it's etiquette. But nevertheless, it's up to YOU to cue the guy and let him know where you stand and what you expect out of a date and where you want to go from there.

Seems you aren't cueing. Btw, relationships are kept together by sex but if you don't want to do that at least promise the guy that in the future you're interested in taking the relationship into "much much" more and would like some day to sleep with him. Seeing a guy too often would cause problems for you, so you're right about after a few dates to discourage them if you don't want a future with them.



At 22, well there's still lots of time left on your clock so no need to rush.

Answer 29

I am 45. Never married. Living solo.



Believe me I have had bouts of loneliness. Everyone does.



Hang in there, it will pass. Do not take to drink or doing anything stupid. Remember, its worse to be with someone and still be lonely. Don't look for someone expecting you won't be lonely forever.

Answer 30

hey i think getting a boyfriend should be your last goal because you need to build your fort. By that i mean you need to be strong alone to build a strong relationship. I would suggest the best remedy for this is to find personal fulfilment through getting to know yourself and especially feeling a spiritual connection to life. it doesn't have to be through god like sometimes i use science and the universe to thing about where i am in the chain of life in relation to all living things. You are probably fairly intelligent but thinking can go too far and it is those who have trouble switching off their brain that can tend to worry and stress too much, which is why, i again vouch not only for spirituality but for meditation so you can become more aware of the thoughts you constantly tell yourself day in a day out.

Answer 31

I can understand where you are coming from, as a 21 year old who works full time as well as part time studying, it is hard to have a social life with others. I am also Catholic, although not strict, and take influence from this as well as my family and general life experinces. I try to stay positive but often find myself questioning the reasons I am doing things, such as why do I not go out more, why can t I change jobs easy to suit my future career prospects. Not so long ago I visited London with some friends, which does not happen often, and the first thoughs which came into my head the world is such a large place and I am wasting my time . I think most of us think like this and it is a real shame many young people feel like this, as well as older adults.

Answer 32

maybe getting a boyfriend shouldn't be your first priority, find other goals in life. As for the anti-depressants, I don't know how many you have taken but I had to try three different pills before I found something that worked for me, so if you have only tried one type you need to remember everyone's body is just a little different and sometimes a medication won't work, but that doesn't mean it is the only option

Answer 33

You sounds like me!!! I am a nursing student and going on 21 years old. I am getting so lonely and I long for a closeness with someone. I just don't care if it's a guy or a girl anymore. Thanks for asking this question. I've gotten so great advice from the answers...

Answer 34

From a male Southern Baptist who, in one academic year, was teaching at a Jesuit Catholic University (John Carroll) ...



Things certainly can get better.



At this time, the median age for women when they marry is 27. Many women end up marrying too fast and end up in divorces. Many women agree to laying in bed and this often damages their lives. (While verse 13 and verse 15 in Exodus 20 are both followed by almost everyone, verse 14 has been discarded by many in today's society.)



Don't discard Exodus 20:14. If a man wants to discard it, then he is not good enough for you.



Live for Christ.

Answer 35

Honestly, People say 'things get better' to give people motivation to keep living, sometimes things don't get better, sometimes the dark cloud that is depression follows you your entire life. It is important to keep looking for the little glimpses of joy each day, keep looking for little glimpses of hope, depression can make you or break you, use the dark to find the light, Honestly put yourself out there, try to be confident, be who you are and learn to love yourself, when you can love yourself then you can love others

Answer 36

I'm Catholic as well and I have suffered from depression too. I'm also the same age as you. My advice would be to give your entire life over to God and Catholicism. Make sure that God is number one in your life and commit your whole heart to him. This means becoming an active member in the sacraments (confession, eucharist..). Doing this will invite the Holy Spirit into your life. Once this happens you will be filled with joy and perform wonderful works that are pleasing to God.



Now, because you also seek romantic affection, I would like you to consider this verse from the book of psalms - "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart" 37:4.



This is what I found from personal experience to be the truth. This is the true cure to depression - it's to invite the light of the world into your life. Consider these words by Jesus: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28



I hope you don't feel as though I'm accusing you of not being a devout Catholic. It's just that I know these things to be true. God is always the solution - not antidepressants.

Answer 37

If your medication isn't working, find another one till you can find the ones that actually work. Do you go counselling at all? I believe it's a good idea for you to go because that can help you greatly. Try to do some easy exercises such as yoga and walking in the sun because they help. Swimming can be relaxing as well.



I had major depression and suffered from it for years but I was able to recover. Things I wrote above helped me to recover so I thought that might help.

Answer 38

DON'T TAKE ANTIDEPRESSANTS! If you take away anything from this question, don't take them! You'll end up even more depressed psychologically no matter what the hormones in your body are doing.



Anyhow, you're Catholic, that's good, I believe in God myself, and I know that in my heart my life isn't wasteful and that he has a plan for me in this world. Hopefully you feel that way too.

Answer 39

Listen , YOUR, 22!!!!! That's so young !! You have loads of time to meet someone have a family. Don't rush enjoy life while you can , go traveling , you meet someone who loves you gir you and won't use because they will love you , understand you and will want to spen the rest of their lives with you !! Things always always get better , you're still young and have plenty of time to settle down so don't stress !!

Answer 40

If you can't get a boyfriend, so what??? It doesn't matter! Being single is extremely Underrated. Just be single. It's far better. I'm 21 & have never had a girlfriend in my life, & I'm not about to start having one.

Answer 41

You're still young you have a good career going you'll meet somebody don't rush it I've been married three times so just you know take your time and be happy wait for the right one to come along

Answer 42

Yes it gets better don't give up on life or love. Theres somebody for everybody

You just gotta pray to god to help you spiritually and emotionally and pray for god to bless you with a loving husband that will love you with has much love you give that you will have a blessed marriage and to prepare you for marriage to work on you and give you peace joy love and happiness god loves you



Death is not a option its never a option don't think that you won't find love

There's somebody waiting out there for you just pray for god to set you free from depression

And to work on you and prepare you to be a good wife and a servant of god that god will use you

Answer 43

Well I'm a 25 yo guy and never had any sort of relations with a girl. How lonely do you think I am?

Answer 44

Things can absolutely get better. Instead of writing a huge paragraph I'll simply direct you to "The Work" by Byron Katie which can be found on her website. It's based off the concept from her book "Love What Is." Check it out- it should help you tremendously.

Answer 45

I think the idea of you being depressed because you are lonely is self-defeating - your expectations that having a partner will cure your being depressed is a falacy.



I also think that the reason you seemingly attract the attentions of older men is purely because your age mates might consider you out of their league where older men know that not trying is akin to failure - if you do not try, you won't succeed.



That said, trying too hard can unwittingly cause rejection, some men fear clingy emotional females or fear being tied up to and loosing their independence by going into a long term relationship - sometimes one gains from being a bit more demure and not so willing to fall into a man's arms (not saying that is the case), take things slowly and enjoy the moments that lead up to more intimate ones - go out for a drink, a meal or a film or something - and thus ends that date, don't feel you need to jump straight into a relationship, enjoy the moments.



Love, like depression or contentment, is a state of mind that you agree to being in - every long-term relationship eventually needs and relies on that something more to feed the state - eventually the honeymoon is over and much more is needed to keep it all together, reassurances are needed on both sides and so is a balanced approach to dealing with things, being over emotional can cause problems.



A good relationship also depends on both parties having the same objective, be it kids, a family home, future aspirations - and these things one needs to know about before heading into a relationship - you need to have an idea of just what you expect to get out of a relationship as well as what your potential partner wants too, and visa-versa - it is all about give and take.



Being hesistant and unsure about a potential mate being the ideal partner could in itself prove attractive.



Finding a partner that will meet up to your each and every expectation is nigh impossible - we are all very different - but a partner that is able to keep make you laugh and see the pleasant side of things is a bonus, so is one that is able to listen - all visa-versa too.



I believe finding your mate will occur as you go out and about doing/learning and (most importantly) enjoying things you have a passion for - and you both remaining faithful to one another will be down to how compaitble you both are as well as both your abilities to sit down and address/discuss matters in adult fashion - but to have expectations as to how things will be is to set yourself up for disappointment.



Go out, live life, experience and enjoy the world, don't have too many expectations, and if you have any "voice" them, no one is a mind reader.



Some guys will have the get up and go you might want or need, some others you will have to push and prod to go places you want to go, be prepared for that - tha's part of what life is all about.

Answer 46

Hi there- To be totally honest with you, I completely understand where you are coming from. this is coming from a person who has been in very similar situations where you feel you have found the love of your life. but only to be rejected at crucial stages.(i.e: when asking about the possibility of marriage). It is only normal to feel down, hurt , unhappy and depressed when being rejected for love by some one you have wanted and made a sacrifice for. Unfortunatly in life there are many bitter and hurtful realities, and love being one of them- when it dosent work out. Hvaing read your story I see that you are young, intelligent, and that you have many ambitions. I do encourage you to stay strong and positive. You will be amazed that the world has alot to offer. there is some one that is out there for you, and its just a matter of time before it does happen, as I say you are young you have your whole life ahead of you. I can see that devoting your time towards your religion helps you, and this is something you should do on a consistent basis

as faith and belief is the cure of all problems. I sincerely hope everything works out for you and wish you every success. Hey if you want to discuss anything further, do drop me note on this post. I will be glad to help further.

Answer 47

I used to sort of be the male version of you. Now read the whole thing don't worry I'm not going to give you the ugly speech that everybody gives to make other people feel better. I will tell you the truth and the honest truth even if it's harsh or hard to hear. I don't stand by the philosophy that I have to make you feel better. I feel the truth is better than anything even if I get thumbed down. Truth is confidence is everything. I used to be the male version of you. I had very low self esteem not too long ago I mean only like a few months ago. I'm still even working on it a bit. Truth is to get over low self esteem you have to find acceptance in something that will be hard to accept. Not everybody is going to find you attractive. I'm a pretty handsome guy I look like a man and I act the way a man should act. In fact many people tell me I look like Nathan Fillion (the actor who plays Castle and also Malcolm Reynolds) only difference being I'm 20 and he's like 40. Not every girl finds me attractive. I've had many average girls think I'm hideous but I've had tons of women that look like models think I'm super sexy. Just last month I had a dancer think I was sexy. Now enough about my experiences onto you. You WILL MEET SOMEBODY! but it might take time and a few drags threw the mud before it happens. There is an old country song that says life's a game you learn as you go. I've had girls step all over me but I get up and keep searching because the right one is out there for me somewhere. A lot of guys will step all over you but some of it is your fault. You need to recognize guys who you know will be trouble. Avoid the and I hate to quote taylor swift but avoid the guys that as soon as you see them you think "I knew you were trouble when you walked in" You know you will get hurt it's inevitable. Also don't say the guy's I'm into won't like you that's bullcrap. Now I know I said I'd stop talking about me but last month that dancer I told you about well she was the exact example of my type a girl I thought I would never get and she liked me. You will find a g that you like and who will like you back but not only that respect you and LOVE you. You might need to wait awhile though. My advice? Stop looking. Right now I'm not searching. College is too busy and I can't afford a girlfriend right now but I know she'll come when the time is right. Stop searching and he'll come when you least expect it. Hell you never know maybe it'll be the person you least expect. I knew of a girl who only ever dated grungy dudes and she never ever paid any attention to the frat looking guy who lived down the street. Well she's now married to the frat guy. Sometimes it's who you least expect who will be the one. I'm a huge geek and gamer and truth is my type of girl is the type of girl that usually doesn't go for guys like me but that dancer sure as hell proved me wrong. Just stop looking. There is also another saying that says if you can't love yourself how do you expect another person to love you. You need to work on your self esteem and it will take time. Maybe find the root cause of your problem. For my self esteem it had nothing to do with the way I looked even though I thought that was the problem. Truth is as a kid I was bullied and I was rejected a lot by schools, friends, teachers, etc. Well I had all this bottled up hatred for years and I was bitter for ages. That caused my self esteem problems. Once I figured it out I've been clearing the cobwebs in my head and letting go of past resentment and I've grown a million times more confident in myself. Find the cause of your problem and deal with it. =) good luck to you and I hope you read all of this. Feel free to comment if you want to talk more.

Answer 48

I have been in your position before. You need to think positive about yourself and lift your bar to surround yourself with equals. How To Get A Date Worth Keeping is a good book by a Christian Psychologist and touches on why we go out with the wrong people. It may help you. Depression is a common result of loneliness- if you start feeling better connected with good people around you the depression should lift.

Answer 49

I feel like you everyday!

I feel like there is no vision, I don't know where I'm heading. Relationships don't work.



Thing is you have to make the most out of what you have, and that means, EVERY OUNCE OF YUOR ENERGY TO GET WHAT YOU WANT, AND BELIEVE IN GOD THE SAME TIME....

Answer 50

Oh so you wonder why you're single and lonely? maybe because you need to take that golden spoon you have stuck up your **** and stop being so judgemental to men who have absolutely nothing wrong with them and are willing to love you, either you learn to love/accept GOOD man regardless if they are your type or its only karma when you're lonely like this for hurting others who are trying to escape what you put yourself into on purpose,

Answer 51

It may not I'am 30 and still all anyone and depressed

Answer 52

Hell, if you're just looking for a boyfriend, I could probably fit you into my rotation next month after my current gf gets sick of me and leaves me. Stick around. I'll make you crave loneliness while being satisfied at the same time.

Answer 53

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Answer 54

you stupid, duffer. How the hell you think about suicide. don't you have love for your parents, bro and, sis??. don't remember your life with your parent????



you just want to suicide because you don't have a BF ??? man that was really stupid and i thought you are medical student.



hear me lady

rode of life don't always have stone it also have rose

and i m sure there is your lucky man standing with rose for you.



if you still felling lonely then watch anime manga XD



sorry for saying harsh word but you need to know that how much stupid you are for thinking about suicide



anyway wish you to be happy in your life

Answer 55

just continue doing what you doing coz at the end of the a man won't bring you joy. You need a young boy that's full of life. no young than 16. 17 is your limit

Answer 56

Chillout, i'm sure things will get better, your only 22 and i have no doubt you will find someone who you are mutually attractedto. But berparing in mind that looks fade but and emotional connection will ensure a lasting relationship. Chin up things will get better :)

Answer 57

Hey you are only 22, you have a full of life a head of you. Dont feel lonely. There must be someone waiting for you. Should also wait for him to come. Time will make it happen. Till then live happy and make happines around.

Answer 58

Me too. I'm so depressed that no one woman ever love me. I'm doing my last will and testament right now. And tomorrow, the suicide note.

Answer 59

You will be fine in a matter of time. I wake up every morning grateful and happy - life is not perfect nor is it meant to be however with the correct brain-training and emotional intelligence I began to view things from a different perspective. Happiness comes from within - nobody else but you can make that change.

Answer 60

I'm past middle age, one kid and single and I have the very same questions as you...maybe it has to do with the choices I made or simply a matter of patience. Our first love should be Jesus, because He loved us first. Take time to love yourself, your creator, your family. A husband will eventually come. You not pretty for nothing gal...

Answer 61

You are a medical student, that's good, your going to be a professional, that's good, your going to earn good money, buy a decent car, buy and decorate your own place, dress yourself smartly, keep doing your sports, above all work hard, the right man will show up, it comes to those who wait.

Answer 62

Don't focus on men. Everyone goes through a hormonal phase where everyone is getting married and having kids and we all want that as women, but you have to focus on your career. Think of all the good things you will be doing helping people! That is amazing! You will have a fulfilling job where people's suffering will stop because you helped them. You will be their hero.



Older men are into you because they are going through a mid life crisis. They are selfish ******* who don't take care of their wives enough and instead spend all their time and extra money looking for a fountain of youth in young women. All young women see in older men is a sugar daddy or money. That is another issue all together, but don't fall for that stuff. First pray. Heal your self mentally and spiritually. What do men have to offer you that you can't give yourself anyway? Let me tell you, it is nice to have someone court you and tell you how beautiful you are and this and that, but all of that slows down over time or completely stops and they are out of your life, so why is that the main thing in being in a relationship? You have your own money, your own way of living, no having to deal with anyone's mess, or bad habits, or lying and cheating ways. Write down what you want in a man, and also what you don't. IF there is something you can compromise on, then that is great, but one tip, if he drinks when you meet him, expect him to get worse over time. Just saying.



you have the power to make yourself happy. It is a matter of wanting to. I mean think about it this way...All of those poor kids in 3rd world countries, all they care about is having water or food to eat. They are probably orphans, whose mother died of AIDS or malaria or something like that. Those kids fight depression better than we do. Why? because they don't have a choice, they don't even know they have the option to die. they have one life to live, who knows what the other world will be like but they are here now, so why not learn through it, endure and over come because things will get better. Time makes us wiser and when we see what we want out of life vs what we imagine things should be, things are better in the real world. **** gets tough, but at least you have everything that you have in life, and no less. Embrace your career, embrace your faith, know that someone out there will meet you and find you delightful. Maybe not now, but when you have your job, you will meet doctors, handsome patients, firefighters, EMT techs, male nurses, whatever. You just stay positive because what you are doing in this life is not for nothing. You have all the right qualities, but unfortunately all the guys your age are being man whores getting all the tail they can before their looks fade.



Don't try to get guys at the bars. They are hopeless, desperate and only looking for a quick hook up. Go to different places, farmers markets, concerts outdoors, shooting ranges, golf courses, basket ball or football games, go to the gym and be yourself. Who knows mr. right might be closer than you know.



Good luck to you sweetie. (Im 29, don't want to sound like some man hating old woman, but there are good men out there, just stay positive and keep your chin up)

Answer 63

I'll be your boyfriend. I'm also single. I'm also depressed because I'm also lonely just like you. I'm not a middle-aged man. I'm a teenager. Please don't refuse to become my girlfriend because you don't know me. You will know me. I'll give you my introduction. You can trust me. I'll be a good boyfriend. Since I'm not your classmate and I don't live near your home, I'll be your friend on Facebook and/or Skype. I'll video chat and text chat with you. I'll meet you someday. Please give me some information so I can send you friend request on Facebook. If you don't have a Facebook account, create it. Or do you have an account in Skype? If yes, what is your Skype name (username)?

If you don't want to expose your Skype name and/or Facebook information in public, please email me.

My email is: [e-mail]

What is your email?

Please don't commit suicide.

Answer 64

Well im glad you posted this question because im the 22 year old male version of yourself :) i also am studying and working full time and hope to complete my bachelors degree but ive never had a gf before so i feel lonely and carry on with my life hoping that someday il meet the female version of myself such as yourself. Message me if your interested and wanna chat. [e-mail]

Answer 65

Look forward to the day you graduate med school and are rolling in bucks. When I was in my 20s I struck out with a lot of girls my age, but at clubs would have the 40 somethings all over me. Not interested.

Answer 66

Hi I guest you are lacked of faith and hope in yourself now that's okay being alone me Im 17 year old boy from philippines. My whole life im alone I feel what you feel now I rejected many times not in girls but in friend's in my 17 years in this world Im always alone yes I have friends but their not real to me they using me as source of they want and if they dont need me they left me and yes I fall inlove once but she's too far from me she's in japan now hope she is fine now and never forget her promise to me. So please dont rush yourself there will be a time, a right time that you will find your prince and your true love so dont be feel so sad if you dont have a lover you'll find your prince soon its okay being alone look at me im alone now im in my dark room now alone a dark room like a cave alone full of sorrow and bitterness so please be happy for me fulfill my dreams be happy dont be sad. Keep smiling forget all your problems and keep moving forward:) HOPE YOU FIND YOUR TRUE PRINCE

Answer 67

don't worry about meeting someone just enjoy your life and do and see as much as you can and somewhere along the line you will meet someone , what ever you do don't get desperate and go with someone for the sake of it or you could end up regretting it . you get one life enjoy it and stop worrying over nothing

Answer 68

Yes, but you don't have time to be depressed, your in medical school.

Answer 69

Yes things will get better.I went through the same .I felt so lonely,isolated ,even thought about ending my life but it got better.You just have to believe in yourself and know things will get better.You have a long life ahead of you.I wish you luck

Answer 70

You can date me. You don't deserve to be lonely. I wish I could change it.

Answer 71

my life started from zero and i was depressed and worried so much. i have been with similar circumstances. but, my Lord taken care of me so well. i have been out of my home from the age of 18. my dad passed away at the age of 13. slept even on railway station for many days. but, my Lord, answered all of my prayers and blessed me so much. i don't want to write all of it on the net, dear.



You have many answers. now you know what to do? please pray about it. God will guide you. please be always close to the Lord. God is great and he takes care of his children. i have been experienced his care and love so much. i am thankful to my Lord.



God that you believe is great, true, real and and he will answer your prayers for sure. i have experience it. moreover, give sometime for the Lord to work. trust and believe in him. God will take care of you well. God bless and have a great day.

Answer 72

of course it will. your experience should at least give u an idea which types are the maggots. I'm a cute woman's invisible friend.

Answer 73

you seem like my type of girl I'm 23 year old male and i feel the same way but hang in there and keep your head up sweetheart it will get better.

Answer 74

Your age wraps up the whole thing. You're 22.

Answer 75

You are not depression. You have depression. People don't walk around and say I am cancer, they say I have cancer, not I am bipolar, but that I have bipolar. See what I mean

Answer 76

Of course it will .. Now that its summer go out enjoy be wild dont send guess your self ..tell tou self you pretty and worth everything and more low self esteems all in your mind like what you give off is what people see change your hair and wordeobe to what you want to give off and who you want to be i say this cause i have low self esteem as well but try not to give it off .

Answer 77

Yes Hug

Answer 78

I am sorry you are feeling this way :( Get yourself busy, do things for others. I find it I feel very much worse when I allow myself to wallow in solitude. Surround yourself by good people, family and friends usually. And trust in God ! Get well soon x

Answer 79

you are just like me. i am 26 & still single .i also was a victim of abusers & i lost my career too. my friends & relatives also left me .i am alone & then i decided to re invent myself.i left my city & started all over again.basically you need to love yourself.when you don't respect yourself. no one else will.i was a victim of domestic violence too.i was never like this. i was a bright student & was very happy. firstly,you need to keep yourself busy & pursue your hobbies. remove the habit on depending on others. enjoy your company alone.learn articles on how to build self-esteem. put it into practise & see the difference.not only you will earn popularity but your good vibrations will attract nice guys.

Answer 80

They will get better your a medical student focus on your career and education and you will find Mr or Mrs right when time comes

Answer 81

my advice is to keep on keeping on.. good things do not come easy.... especially the ones worth waiting for. Also, its hard to give exact advice when we don't for sure know what you look like. :)

Answer 82

Don't lose hope. Good Luck!

Answer 83

Patience.

Answer 84

It may change, but you need a talk therapist and perhaps different meds. Go to as place that does make-overs to boost your self esteem

Answer 85

Well I am a middle aged man and was going to try to take advantage of you until I saw that second part.seek some counseling.

Answer 86

I like how she gets a lot of responses but if a guy posted the same thing no one would care. You people make me sick.

Answer 87

Same. It won't for me at least. I will be ending mine soon.

Answer 88

It will change don't worry

Answer 89

you say people tell you that you are attractive , beautiful etc. why would they offer this

information unless you had asked? You are giving off vibes of desperation and/or

self-obsession. Think about others first - then you.

Answer 90

tbh im almost 18 and i think what iv been feeling for a while now is the same as yours, you can tell yourself Gods got a plan for your love life but he dont, he doesent make your decisions for you, theres no advice available here.

Answer 91

Life constantly changes you,re only young nothing stays the same I think it,ll not be long till you turn a new corner in your life.just believe, it will happen

Answer 92

I am 20 and never had a friend or girlfriend. I am too much of a coward to kill myself. I know how u feel

Answer 93

I feel just like you do. I am 40. You have time on your side. Keep trying and be out there. Best wishes.

Answer 94

lower your standards and become an athiest. also, start dressing slutty and frequent the bars/clubs more often. it would be a good idea for you to drop out of school as well. you dont need a degree to earn a 6 digit figure. i get mine slangin on the corner with my n.iggas. your welcome.

Answer 95

you need to find the core of who you are because i don't think you know. Be proud of who you are, what you like, your hobbies...be proud of your family.

Answer 96

do optional community service, you'll feel better about yourself and the nicest, cream of the crop dudes are there.

Answer 97

One day, you'll find the right guy, don't worry!

Answer 98

calm down baby, I also feel lonely everyday. always fail in relationship is not end of the world.

Answer 99

simply because i cannot think of what to say to someone in your position myself, i'll use the words of biffy clyro: "crazy as it sounds, you wont feel as low as you feel right now"

Answer 100

Yes.

Answer 101

you're beautiful ,smart and young your love is on his way.

Answer 102

I would suggest seeing a therapist about this. They can advise you how to have better relationships.

Answer 103

Things will get better if you make them better.

Answer 104

If your experianced anuff, you sound like you are, you should be able to tell apart the bad guys from the good guys.

Wait and find the good guys, reject the bad guys.

Answer 105

All I can say is that life will get better! always will but you must take action and wait...

Answer 106

'Even the darkest, longest night will pass, and the sun will rise'. xx

Answer 107

join the club everyone feels like that and it doesn t get better u just learn to cope with stuff and hope

Answer 108

It's hard - but keep in mind that you are a treasure of immeasurable value in the eyes of God. He loves you more than you can imagine unconditionally. Draw closer to Him, draw your strength from Him. He will help you through this. Focus on loving Him and loving others (by doing things for others and by being kind to others in need). Never give up - there are too few good people in the world and we can't afford to lose anyone!



It sounds like you need immediate professional counseling to help you get out of your depression. It's usually free on campus to students. If not, it's often available for little or no fee through health insurance. Almost everyone needs counseling at some point in their lives. It may be hard to believe, but it's better to be lonely than to be in a relationship with a weak guy.



Here are 21 tips that could help you to attract a strong person:



1. Take the time and put in the effort to become a strong person yourself (this is the most important tip)



2. Put yourself in as many situations as possible that will allow you to potentially come in contact with other strong people - community service organizations, the library, high school or college clubs, the “Y” or other workout facilities, religious book studies, coffee shops, non-alcoholic parties, bookstores, concerts (wear a good pair of earplugs to protect your ears from permanent hearing loss), co-ed recreational athletic teams, community service projects, mission trips, volunteer service, etc. Try to get to know other people as much as possible without dating



3. Be cheerful, approachable, and friendly - smile regularly to put others at ease (let people see your positive attitude)



4. Take a real interest in getting to know others. Ask people an open-ended question about themselves in order to get them talking. Share things related to what’s been said as needed to keep the conversation going. Then ask them another question



5. Be polite and kind to everyone - even to people who you don’t like or enjoy being around



6. If you decide to not accept a request for a date, do it in a kind way (being rude isn’t a good choice and it doesn’t help you - word about it will get out and you’ll become less approachable)



7. Be confident about yourself - if you’re trying to become a stronger person each day, you already have a lot going for you



8. Be humble - don’t act like you’re Miss Charming or you’re Mr. Wonderful



9. Don’t be concerned about whether or not someone likes you



10. Have the attitude that if someone doesn’t like you - they don’t really know you



11. Take care of yourself by getting enough sleep (at least nine hours for teens, at least seven hours for adults according to the experts), exercising regularly (if approved by your doctor), and eating a healthy diet



12. Develop a good sense of humor - including the ability to laugh at your own mistakes



13. Be known as a hard worker



14. Dress well and dress modestly at the same time (wearing seductive clothing doesn’t attract another strong person)



15. Pay attention to your appearance, but don’t obsess over it (remember that strong people are attracted to other strong people, they’re not too concerned about looks - because they realize that looks fade with age). If you use makeup, make sure it’s not excessive. Use perfumes and colognes sparingly - if at all



16. Truly care about other people



17. Stay in close communication with real friends who can help you through the ups and downs of life and hold you accountable



18. Be patient - real friends can help you with this. A real friend:



• allows their friend to be themselves, really listens to their friend, and doesn’t share what’s been said



• can be trusted, supports and helps you, treats you with respect, sticks with you



• comes and talks with you as soon as possible when there’s a problem in the friendship



• never encourages you to make a bad choice



• encourages you to make a good choice - even when weak people are encouraging you to make a bad choice



• tells you what you need to hear even though you don’t want to hear it



• is willing to forgive you when you mess up



• understands that friendships change and can accept those changes after talking it out



(The best way to make a real friend is to be a real friend.)



19. Persevere - please remember that almost nothing worthwhile is quick and easy. Please don’t settle for dating a weak person



20. Don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t want to date you



21. Don’t act desperate for a date



May I suggest that the first question to ask yourself when considering whether or not to date someone is, “Is this person a strong person?” If they’re not, no matter how much you like them, how much they like you, or how “cute” or “hot” they are, - please don’t date them. A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), displays a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), gives their best effort, and demonstrates self-control (of their body, anger, tongue and money). A strong person isn't overly concerned with what weak people say, do, or think.



My suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already) and eventually look for this type of guy (otherwise you are setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of man is difficult to find – but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.



(Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)



Hope this helps!

Answer 109

Pray, read your bible and ask the Lord to help get you through this

Answer 110

Things do change . Its always better if you make them change yourself.

Answer 111

Hang in there solider

Answer 112

yes

Answer 113

yes

Answer 114

You have to look on the bright side and think positively.

Answer 115

girl im 20 , and kinda in your shoes. but your still young, dont kill yourself

Answer 116

Talk to someone

Answer 117

God gave you the ability and free will to LIVE YOUR LIFE. What you Do or Don't do with it is up to YOU.

Your biggest FEARS are NOT knowing What to SAY or How to do Something. It's like taking a test. It's NOT so scary, once you know the answers. Driving is NOT so scary, once you're behind the wheel a few times. Same with the Opposite Sex.

Practice and Experience equals, PIECE OF CAKE.



MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT. IT'S UP TO YOU.



BECOMING POPULAR & BUILDING SELF CONFIDENCE both

REQUIRE PRACTICE.

PRACTICE is just a way to LEARN to get better.

(High School / College / New Town / New Job)

Women have the Power of Seduction. You can do what guys do, to Flirt and Hit On someone… with less effort and better results.



Always use Smiles, Humor and Compliments to approach people.

USE SMILES (to make them relax),

USE HUMOR (to make them Smile or Laugh),

USE COMPLIMENTS (to make them feel good about themselves

when they are around you)



Wouldn't you want to be around someone

that made you feel good about yourself?



All this may sound scary to you,

but aren't you already scared anyway…

And probably sick of being YOU. (the way you are)

CHANGE will Always Be Uncomfortable…

until it becomes the way you do things.



Start by NOT making a big deal out of it. You'll only worry yourself.

SMILE at all the Guys.

"ALL" the guys. Say "Hi" to some or as many as possible. Don't pick and choose, because some of them have other friends that you will like and they could do the introductions for you at some point. Just like Sports... PRACTICE being popular. Smile. Say "Hi". Tell them your name, ask them theirs, BUT compliment them on something you like about Them,

before you let them say their name.

IT PLAYS OUT LIKE THIS:

You introduce yourself and compliment (the stranger) right away without letting them say their name. In case They were considering rejecting you, They now have a smile on Their face because of the compliment. You just need to keep the Smile there. Then say...

"I'm sorry, what was your name?" while still smiling.



Keep in mind and REMEMBER--Handsome, Beautiful or Butt Ugly has

"NOTHING" to do with PRACTICE and

Because its only practice... it doesn't matter if you strike out

over and over again.

PRACTICE is just a way to LEARN to get Better.

Also, if you get rejected 100,000 times.

There is still a BILLION guys you haven't met... YET!!!!!

and Visa Versa. Guys that haven't met You... YET!!!!!



So… Conversations are pretty easy, once you break the ice. If there is a GUY, you would like to MAKE talk to you… Just make this comment out of the blue "You know what I don't get… Why do people DRIVE on Parkways and PARK in Drive ways?? Also, if PRO means to Favor, Support and Move Forward and CON is Deception, Deceiving or Trickery. Then what is the opposite of PROGRESS??" (Are you entertaining this thought? See how that works?)

You don't have ask/talk to him directly. Just make the comment in ear shot of him. When he responds… Just SMILE at Him. He is pretty much yours, just keep smiling and asking questions (even if you know the answer to your questions)

He doesn't know that you do and he doesn't know that you like him or tricked him into GIVING YOU HIS ATTENTION. All He sees/knows is that a girls is smiling and enjoying his company.

Ask simple questions, he can answer.

Like "Is it true that guys who say "WHAT" love me?"

He'll say "What?" You SMILE BIG and say: "So it's true."

Learn to Joke with people. It shows a sense of humor as they smile in your company. Example: "I heard the other day that TIME IS MONEY. Would you like to spend some with me?" If they ask "Time or Money?" You SMILE and say. "YES."



It's only scary the first 3 or 4 times.

Be NICE and CONVERSATIONAL to ALL the Guys. Even plain guys have feelings and attractive friends, neighbors or cousins.

Be Respectful, you'll be remembered better.

"Sometimes" Date guys that don't interest you, BUT THAT LIKE YOU, It's the same chance you would like from someone you liked,

that wasn't interested in you.

Also… its A Good Practice TO MEET other types of personalities and BE TREATED BY SOMEONE "TRULY" INTERESTED IN YOU. They will treat you better/different from those YOU like or want.



If you don't start PRACTICING this now, you will lose out on many other opportunities (Guys) in the future.

The Players call it "Having Game."



If You or Them is the "SHY TYPE" tell them, they make you Nervous.

If they are Nervous, THEY won't be. If you're Nervous, YOU won't be.

By saying it to the other person, it disappears for both of you.



Also… The idea for Dating is to find out if there is anything between two people. Attraction is based on looks, but personality will let you know if you are worth each other's while. Muscles and Make Up attract guys and girls to each other, but if the personalities SUCK, you have nothing.

If you are not sure about a person, THAT IS WHY YOU DATE THEM.

To find out and be SURE and not worry or guess.

You DO NOT have to be in a relationship to DATE.

You Date to see "IF" you want to be in a RELATIONSHIP.

Just TALK. Get to know each other.

You NEVER have to Spend a Penny or Pay to have a Date.

Although, You do have to Spend TIME and PAY Attention.

(Most people can work this into their budget).

It doesn't matter if the guy asked the girl or girl asked the guy.

In every couple that you see together,

ONE OF THEM, had to make the First Move.

Answer 118

Yes...you are young

Answer 119

yes they will get better

Answer 120

I mean we can always date? hmu

Answer 121

yes have faith that things will change and never give up

Answer 122

CHECK OUT OVERCIMER BY MANIDS VIA YOUTUBE AAND YOU WILL BE INSPIRATION AND BE UPLIFTED BY THE SONG .

Answer 123

stop taking that anti depressant ****. its poison.

Answer 124

try to talk to god you will feel better

Answer 125

nope

Answer 126

Maybe.

Answer 127

it will get better

Answer 128

it would go and talk to people

Answer 129

The Bible has all the best answers

Answer 130

Your day will come.

Were I 60 years younger and unattached...............................

Answer 131

At 22 you're hardly old enough to be complaining of being tired of loneliness. You're so young! Medical school can be stressful. I know. I've done it myself. Its easy to confine yourself into the science, and the books, and the labs, and the clinicals...to the point where you don't have much time to work on your social life. But you have to break away from all that stuff from time to time. Go to a gym to work out several times a week, take mini vacations and go on short trips to fun places, go out dancing and have fun with your friends once in a while, etc. Loneliness is a disease that breeds on itself. Just because you're not in a relationship with a man doesn't mean that you have to be lonely.



When I was in college/residency I didn't have much time for relationships either. But there were opportunities. I think that it was much easier for me because I am a man. That's not to be sexist, just the way life is. You will find that your studying to become a physician is intimidating to a lot of guys who aren't comfortable with being with a woman who is way more educated than they are. I had a lot of male friends, but most of those friendships eventually faded to nothing. I socialized with a lot of girls but never seriously dated any. I didn't have to time to commit, and you can't date a woman and not be commited. She's going to expect you to always be there and to do things for her. I'm not a selfish person but I just didn't have the time so I never put myself in that situation. You see, I took my education and future career very seriously. For quite a while, it became my whole life. If you're serious about becoming a good physician it will likely be the same for you. You have to devote time to the learning...and there is a LOT of stuff to learn.



Relationships are a distraction that not every medical student can pull off. People who have never been to medical school will never understand why that is. It takes more than just time. It takes devotion and a lot of concentration on the things that you are learning. Unlike an engineer, you're not just learning how and why things work. You're learning how pathophysiologies and comorbidities impact different people differently and how to communicate apppropriate treatment modalities with the many, many sick people who will come to you for help. This is why we spend so many years in school and in residency/specialty. It takes a lot to become a really good physician, and once you become one, not only will your patients love you but you will find an immense level of satisfaction in all the things that you will be able to do to help others. I think that you should reflect on that first.



As far as the relationship thing goes, you mentioned several things in your post that make me think that perhaps one reason you have not been successful with them is because you're desperate and you give yourself too easily. You have to give yourself some credit. You have to find your self-esteem and let it guide your actions in a positive way. You say that all the men in the past have been middle-aged men who used you. Why are you, a 22 year old, dating middle aged men in the first place? That needs to stop. What also needs to stop is putting yourself in situations that allow people to take advantage of you. People can use you only if you provide the opportunities for them to do so. Read the previous sentence again.



The men that you like don't like you back...? Why do you think that is? You say that people tell you that you're beautiful, fun, etc... And I believe that you are. But I also believe that you need to step back and think a little bit more about 'the type of men that you like'. In my opinion, a type is synonymous with a stereotype. So, instead of looking for a type, consider meeting and going out on dates with men who aren't the 'type' that's stuck in your head. Give them a chance to know you too. You might be surprised at what can happen when you step outside that thing we call our comfort zone.



You say that you are fun-loving and kind, but those are not the primary qualities that most men are attracted to in women who they want to date and have sex with. Its good to be a nice person, but being nice and social is the reason why your dates with some men turn into friendships rather than romantic relationships. Physical beauty, sexiness, nicely dressed, gorgeous figure, confidence, self-esteem---these are the things that turn men on about women. The want the guy to see you as a woman, not as a friend. So, bring the woman out...put on your makeup, do your hair, look sexy, and if you really like the guy then flirt with him a little. The old saying goes: physician, heal thyself. You should know that the power to turn this around lays in your own hands. I don't know you, but based on what you wrote I already know more about you than you probably know about yourself. How?



You say that you are depressed. You are on meds for it. Your self-esteem is very low. You go out on dates and get into relationships with useless, worthless men. You're totally selling yourself short. Not that I'm making light of depression because it is a really serious disease. But it comes with a VERY negative energy that people can detect from a mile away. You have to learn to supress it enough to give the things you love about yourself opportunities to shine through. Learn to laugh more and not take yourself too seriously. This goes a long way in determining how you feel about yourself and your life. And keep yourself busy with yout hobbies, your studies, socializing with your friends, playing your favorite sports, and all the other things that you do. Whatever you're doing plan it so that it involves other people. Engage them in conversations, ask them about themselves and the type of stuff they like to do in a non-probing way. this is very easy to do. People love to talk about themselves. That's how you make new friends and have fun hanging out with people. And when you're having fun you don't have time to feel lonely or depressed. I'm not saying to stop the meds because depending on which ones you take they do help. But you may find that you can change your life in ways that maybe after a while you won't need to take them anymore.



Maybe its just my years of experience as a clinician, but I can usually tell when a person is depressed no matter how much they are laughing and pretending not to be. Some of it has to do with the time we now live in. People are more self-obsessed and into their phones and facebooking to impress fake friends than they are with having real conversations with the people who are sitting right across from them at the dining table. So, it is important to filter out the chaff and focus on developing friendships with real people. You will find that the more you do this you will meet a lot more men. Just remember to go easy with it. Don't make it seem like you are looking too hard for a man or that you are in a hurry to get into a serious relationship with one because those things scare men away.



At the end of everyday, no man has the power to make you happy. That is something that has to come from within you. Stop looking for a man. Find and learn to love and respect yourself first. Everything else comes afterwards.

Answer 132

:( feeling the same right now

Answer 133

not with that attitude

Answer 134

No.

Answer 135

Ok..