Should I just give up on women?

Question

I'm a 38 year old guy who since moving to a small town has gone on perhaps the worst dry spell in my life when it comes to girls and dating. I haven't really made any close connections with many people here, including women. Not in the sense that I could pick up the phone and call someone to go out hiking or boating or something like that. The women that I have met are usually waitresses at the local pubs, as I use to do that kind of work as well, and still do on the weekends.

The women who do have gotten to know me a little bit all tell me I am a nice genuine guy. I am not a player. I am no saint either, but I don't just go out and look to have sex with every good looking woman. I can be quite funny, judging from the reaction I get from others. It seems no matter how outgoing and funny I am, women don't seem to be interested in my romantically. And no, I am not suffering from nice guy syndrome, this is what other women tell me. I can be a jerk if I am provoked. It seems like all the guys who are players and screwing everything in sight are the only ones getting interest from the women out there, and despite my best efforts I just get kicked in the nuts. Should I just give up on the whole thing? Always didn't want to play around but find one solid women and be in a relationship, but I don't see that happening anymore. Anyone else have advice or experience? Oh and by the way, I am not ugly, before I get smartass comments. I have been told I look 8 to 10 years younger, and other guys I know are surprised I have trouble with women as well.

Answer 1

Are you looking in the right places? If you're ready to find one woman, the pub is not fertile ground.

Maybe you come across as immature (pride in looking younger) or angry ("I just get kicked in the nuts") or desperate or negative ("I don't see that happening anymore") or possible hygiene issues (bad breath, poorly fitted clothes). I'm not saying you're any of these things, but these are the kind of problems that men overlook in themselves.



Your writing is articulate and thoughtful and that is a huge plus.



My suggestion would be to ask sisters, married female co-workers and their sisters, if they know any great women that are looking for a great guy like you. Recommendations from people who like you help a lot in the search. Good luck to you.

Answer 2

the fact that your in a small town limits your chances of finding someone dramatically, as your always seeing the same faces and your constantly in the friend zone.

if you can and really want a change, buy a place in a city close by and stay there a couple nights a week and see what happens.

there is also other options such as online dating, speed dating

good luck

Answer 3

There does seem to be much interest on the part of women in "the bad boy image". But when seeking something more important they are more interested in stable men.

Answer 4

work on your looks.



and the reason when the bad boys get the girls is that they have the looks