How do I stop feeling guilty about dating?

Question

Hi folks

After a bit of a break from online dating, I've got back into it and recently three women have got in touch with me. Basically, all three have asked me out on dates, which is fantastic, but at least one of them has moved on fairly rapidly. We haven't met yet but we text a lot and we're Facebook friends. I am interested but I'm also keen to meet up with the other two women just to see what they're like in person too.

Another fly in the ointment is that I invited another girl I was dating previously to a gig, and she agreed to come. We parted as friends but if we get onto the topic of dating either one of us might be tempted to talk about dating each other again.

Basically, I'm unattached and just dating casually but because I'm not used to this, I feel dead guilty about it. I get on with all of these women and there have been no declarations of feelings or anything like that, but why do I feel so bad about meeting all these new people?

Answer 1

I wouldn't feel bad if I were you. You're not exclusive with any of them and it's like like you're sleeping with all 3 at once either.



Right now it's light and carefree for you and it should be that way until you're ready to be exclusive.



At which time you can end it with the other 2 and make it "official' with whomever you choose.

Answer 2

Don't ever let anyone feel that you are seeing them exclusively, especially in the very beginning. You don't owe any of these women anything until you both decide to choose each other. They don't own you and you don't own them.



By keeping things open and even hinting that you have other dates, you show them that you are a very valuable commodity. They will have to work harder to get you if they know there is competition. It is vital that you are completely honest especially in the early stages of a relationship. That way you don't feel like you have to keep lying throughout a relationship with the right girl.

Answer 3

you have to understand that there is no right or wrong. as I'm reading your question I'm still wondering what is causing you to feel guilty, but i know it is because you feel you are not being loyal to any of the those girls. just do what makes you feel good to you. after all, a date is not a commitment! and anyway, dates are not as important as marriages, so why bother with your decision? i know you will make up your mind, and chances are that you have already decided, haven't you?

i know of a friend that is always in and out of a relationship only to return to one of the girlfriends he has had before, then they are again separated, and so on. so, commitments of dates, that i suppose involve becoming boyfriend and girlfriend, are not meant to last a long time. most are not lucky with the loyalty of a girlfriend. Anyway, this is just my opinion.

Answer 4

Your not exclusive with anyone. If they ask if your seeing anyone, be honest, tell them that you have been going on dates, but nothing serious and nothing exclusive as of yet.



If you haven't mentioned feelings for any of them yet, it's safe to go. It's when feelings are added into the pot, thats when it gets difficult.

Answer 5

Dont look online for a gf.