Girlfriend problem, really upset and I need help?

Question

I really apologize for such a long post and I hope you guys understand me for being so upset about this.

So me and my current gf have been dating for about a year and two months. Things were working out great, a few arguments here and there, maybe not perfect, but great. We had plans to move in together and everything, I was really excited about it.

But as of a few weeks ago we started having a few problems. I have severe OCD and we got into an argument and I overthought some stupid stuff and ended up sending her a text message saying "We're over". I really don't understand why I did that, but I apologized for it, and we pulled ourselves through it. At least I thought we did.

I continued to send her text messages breaking off the relationship with her, often not meaning to because I was having a stressful day. I would also send messages to her best friend Stacie asking what's been wrong with her lately. Megan, (my gf) has been pulling herself away from me more and more ever since I sent the first message. I've apologized profusely for it, and the other two times I did it I had a major freak out. Well Stacie broke her word after telling me she wouldn't tell Megan anything I was saying, she showed Megan all the text messages and started telling Megan she should break up with me.

Yesterday was mostly a good day for us. She did happen to tell me that she was planning on moving with her parents (whole reason why she was moving in so soon with me in the first place was because she didn't want to move with them.) We worked it out and talked about it and she said she was going to think about it.

She was cheery for the rest of the night and we had a good time. And then this morning she was in an entirely different mood. She was complaining about me randomly when I hadn't done anything.

We went and spent the day at Stacie's. I'm friends with Stacie's ex-bf (who lives with her) named Aaron. Basically, I wanted to let her spend some time with another female since maybe she was just kinda sick of me. So I went with Aaron and walked around for about two hours and talked together. I will admit all I said is that we were just gonna go hang out. But apparently Stacie took it personally and stretched things out of proportion. She kept saying how stupid I was being and how stupid Aaron was being and the two spent the time just bitching about us in general (something completely out of Character for Megan). Of course I had no knowledge of this until I heard it come out of Megan's mouth later. So I thought I was doing something innocent but all that happened was bad stuff.

The walk home consisted of her nagging me on and on about how supposedly I have no respect for Stacie. All I told her was that it's impossible for me to get along with the girl. There are times that we do get along with each other, but it normally ends with Stacie just talking crap about me once I'm gone. But she kept telling me I was being judgmental and I had no clue where any of this was coming from.

So we've been spending several nights together at the apartment just to see how things would work out. Just a few weekends here and there just to see if we would get along. Tonight was one of those nights. We returned to the apartment, she sat down and zoned out to the TV for a few minutes while I sat down with her. She decided she wanted to go to bed, which I had no problem with. But she also promised she would let me read her a letter I wrote for her this morning. We ended up arguing about whether or not she really cared about it.

I ended up losing my temper and yelling. And then I apologized for it, and she told me to just read the letter. As I read it, she ended up making a sarcastic "I don't care" face and staring off into space as if it all went in one ear and out the other. She's normally been so attentive and sweet when I've read letters to her in the past. All this one was about was about how I didn't want her to leave.

She ended up saying nothing about the letter, lied down and tried to go to sleep. This is where I admit I did wrong. I lost my temper, slammed down on my laptop and got mad at her. She said "I didn't even do anything to you". and I said, "you treated me like crap on the walk home, don't give me that."

She got all pissed, raised her head up, picked up her phone and called her mom and told her to give her a ride home. I panicked. I apologized as hard as I could and I even started crying, but all she did was stubbornly ignore me, packed her stuff up and got ready to go home. She kept telling me that I did nothing wrong, and everytime I asked her why she was leaving she kept ignoring me.

The thing is, this isn't like her. There's been some days when she acts like this, but it usually happens after she's spent a full day with Stacie. A lot of my other friends keep telling me that Stacie seems controlling and manipulative, but I don't want to strip Megan of her best friend. Even Aaron went as far as to say

Answer 1

I don't have time to read the whole thing, but from what I have read, she just sounds scared that the next time you send a text message say that you guys are over, that you arent going to apologize and be over with it. She doesn't want to leave; I truly suggest some time by yourselves. Go away somewhere together, away from other people and their thoughts, and get to know each other the way you did when you first met. Don't take space; the only space would be away from Stacie and Aaron, and everyone else. You guys deserve it.

Answer 2

Honey..I don't think the problem is your girlfriend or Stacie. The problem is you. You are so quick to blame everyone else for what you have caused. How selfish! You don't send your girlfriend text message after text message telling her it's over and you admitted several times that you lost it or flipped out. You say you have apoligized for all of this but you don't seem too sorry when you keep doing it over and over. She is probably afraid of you and is trying to pull away hoping that if she does it nicely you wont physically harm her. You call her childish...you are the one who is childish and needs to grow up. And to top it all off you are trying to come between her and her friend? I dont care how bad of a friend you think this girl is..you don't ever try to come in between a friendship. Her friend may want her away from you because of how crazy you are acting. Grow up..get your OCD under control and then maybe you will be able to have a healthy relationship someday.

Answer 3

Well to start with you need counselling or something because not having a girl is NOT reason enough to consider suicide. I think its unfair that you're treated differently because your single. But are you sure that is why? Because that makes no sense to me. Ok and also you need to be comfortable enough with yourself that you can be happy in your own company. Why do you feel that another person is the only thing that will make you complete? This is simply not true. Anyway, you are still very young. It is almost guaranteed that the person for you will drift along when you are least expecting it (could be in a month, could be years) and you will find yourself doin the long term thing. In the mean time, just relax and enjoy yourself. You don't NEED a girl to live a good life!!!

Answer 4

Dude You Gotta Man Up and tell her you dont want her hanging with stacie...it can be her after all....If your girlfriend really loves you i guess she would understand...but dude your girlfriend has the right to be upset dude you got to control your temper ill admit i get one too when my girlfriend gets stubborn all you gotta do is ask her to stop and if she doesnt you jsut walk away and dont start a fight..and dont beg if she breaks up with you man dont cry or get upset thatll kill the mood...when she breaks up with you (if she does) thats your final chance to get her back...dont promise her nothing tell her youll do the best you can and that you'll work on that temper of yours...and as for stacie im sure your girlfriend will understand if you talk to her about it...Dude Good Luck Okay I Feel for You? just Try Not To Get Mad Or she's Gone...

Answer 5

Dude, I got through like the first 1/3 of this and I couldn't keep reading... I think your first problem is repeatedly dumping your gf over text...you have OCD, not tourettes! Second, do NOT text the friend of ur gf w/ relationship stuff/ advice...being TOO close to ur gf's friends is never a good thing (you yourself are even now ranting like a teenage girl!)...my best advice to you: Mellow out! You seem like an intense worry-wart...maybe this is one of the reasons ur gf is withdrawing from you!

Answer 6

You need to chill out and relax.



You also need to stop contacting her and give her some space.



And, it sound to me like you are obsessing about this this whole thing (could this be part of your OCD) ?



Try to fill your time with things to keep yourself buy.



Stop telling everything to Aaron - he might tell Stacie and she will tell your girlfriend - all of this is a vicious circle.



Good Luck.

Answer 7

You hold her highly accountable for her behaviors and are quite quick to forgive yourself. Think first and text later. You seem to be a reactionary. Having severe OCD means you have a responsibility to manage it.

Answer 8

Can u short cut ur story. coz it make me angry n upset more than ur gf. [im not read yet]

Answer 9

I think it's the stacir girl. Talk to her about it, be firm but fair.

Answer 10

When in doubt, whip it out

Answer 11

no one will read this