sorry its so long! but i badly need ur help..i cant take nomore!?

Question

I really need your help
For the last 4month me and my boyf have been on and off.. hes put me through alot emotionally, letting me down and being with other girls, when i had made plans with me. After a year relationship, he "just wants to be single" what a rubbish excus. He tells me how much i loves me, but he can't have a relationship with me anymore. And i've just find out why, he was going to move away and not tell me, so that i had no choice to get over him. I confronted him about it but he told me not to contact him again n he'd be gone in 2weeks, with everything hes put me through i flipped and told him how much i wish he'd die..i know i shouldnt have and iv tried saying sorry but he still wont talk to me. I'd me lost without him..
I have family problems, and when i thought i lost him before i ended up selfharming, and tryin to OD.i cant live without him hes means so much to me
Please help im falling apart, he means the world to me and i cant handle him not being around.

Answer 1

ur man was just being selfish,and he did this only to push u away,him moving and not telling u,just let him go he dont deserve u,u deserve better the minute he told u he wanted to be single is because he had some1 occupying his time ,u dont need him in ur life,everything happens for a reason u may not see the reason now as u are falling apart,but soon orlater u will be glad he left u,sometimes this peolpe they think that when they have found some 1,they can devote all they time to is like the end of the world,no lovie just give it time u will be fine as they say time heals for sure ive been throug the same process last year the whole year i was hope less,crying everyday,missing him,i was even tempted to call him,i had this anger i couldnt let go of,sometimes i also wished he was dead,but one day my friend asked me what i would do if he asked me to get back with him,i was like i dont know,why because i was not sure tht i want him back in my life since he is the reason i felt that way,so she told me to let go of that anger and wish all the good things for my self,i did that and i got a man i can call my own,am happy and now he wants me back since he can see that am kicking and am still surviving from his pain,all u need is the courage,confidence,and dont tell ur self u are nothing without him the is still life after dead,how about him he is still alive,the is no use crying over split milk,just pray,wish and u wiil achieve --good luck

Answer 2

He tried to move away without telling you! It sounds to me that he doesn't want to be contacted, you may feel guilty about telling him to die but it was obviously just a flippent comment in the heat of the moment, you know you didn't mean it and if you know your sorry and have tried contacting him them why should you still be feeling this way. It's obvious you love him but i feel you could be better alone, or with somebody else. I'm so sorry you have family problems but self harming and trying to OD is not the answer. There are so many organisations that help people in your situation. You need to stop feeling guilty and stand on your own two feet because at the end of the day the only person a girl can rely on is herself. If he's gone it will help you recover emotionally and you must not let yourself sink into deppression over a man, you can get help from your doctor, you can put yourself out there and find somebody else or spend some time alone gettin to know yourself and maybe next time you find a man he might just be the one, he might be the one who you can finally rely on.

I hope something here helps, hope you feel better soon.

Answer 3

Do not hurt yourself, do not kill yourself.



Remember that, although it is a cliche'---time really does heal all wounds. Years from now you'll look back on him and wonder why you wasted your time giving and never receiving.



Look to yourself--you are stronger than you think. You just need to remind yourself. Remember that even though things are bad now, "This too shall pass". Things always get better and even though people may hurt you, you can learn from it and grow.



Living well is the best revenge. So move on, better yourself and your life and don't look back. Love and enjoy what you have and what your experiences have taught you--no matter how painful.



Emmerse yourself in a project or read a really long, capitivating book, take a trip somewhere--do something to reset your mind and start anew!! Get a new hairdo--change your perfume. This is a must in my book--every fragrance I've ever worn is inexorably linked to the person I was dating at that time in my life. But, when they are gone--so is that fragrance!! Out with the old--in with the new!! Change those clothes, change that perfume, change the channel, change that bad old habit!!



Feel sorry for your self a bit, wallow in it, listen to sad songs, watch sad movies--then MOVE ON sister! Close that envelope and mail it to somebody else!



BE & DO for YOU!! You can do it!!



And don't look back until you can laugh about it--it's called perspective--it's a good thing. Don't be afraid, now go on and get busy with YOU!!

Answer 4

Because I don't know the full situation, I can't make the decision for you but only give you some of my opinions.



Due to your family problems, that might be the reason why you feel that you need him around and sought comfort in his company. However, according to your description, it is perhaps best to let him go. It will be hard to do this but a person that truly cares about you will not put you through this and treat you with such disrespect.



One of the hardest thing to do is perhaps to come to realise that there is someone else out there and you are not tied to this person despite your uncomfortable relationship with him.



And self-inflicting wounds is not the way to go. You should have more respect for yourself. Pick yourself up and go talk to a councellor or simply a bunch of friends to help you out. Trust me, drugs and pain is going to bring you no where in this situation, just make everything worse and more confusing.

Answer 5

its time for you to realise he's just another human being the only difference between you being he is a dude and you are a dudette. you need to move on and learn to love yourself (or at least like yourself) instead of requiring the love and time of a man. until you do no-one, not least this particular guy, will ever be able to love you. get a new hobby to fill in some time and give you a new interest. you need to stop being dependant on other people and live your own life. in your own world you should be the centre not some other person, be that a family member, man or friend. your world revolves around you and doing what makes you happy - not that you should be selfish - but you must learn that you are important and no man will be the "completion " of your life, neither are they a necessity. its lovely having someone special but first you have to realise that YOU are special and in this particular instance this guy doesnt even sound that nice!!!!! just forget him, keep yourself busy and try "being single" yourself for a while. looks like you have alot of work to do to be happy WITHOUT a boyfriend before you can consider having one. and go and see your doctor if this depression and the need to self harm continues. good luck and remember that YOU are the important one in your own life. xxx

Answer 6

Dont panic,

It is awful for you to go through this. I too had bad relationships like this when I was younger (in my 20).

You can live without him, You survived all those years b4 you met him. No worries there.

Put things into perspective.

He cheats, Lies, lives his life the way he wants to and you stay around hoping he will change.

Take it from someone who knows. You will feel a whole lot better if you dump him. It will be a huge shock for him as he knows you not got it in you, or he thinks that way.

The relationship is going nowhere and if you dont finish it he will. He already told you that.

Dont go looking for revenge. The best thing you can do is get on with your life and survive and succeeed. That will p him off more than anything. Good Luck. Believe in yourself

Answer 7

I am going to have to be cruel to be kind: he does not want to be with you. He is telling you every way he knows how: by telling you he wants to be single, he doesn't want a relationship; by dating other women; by moving away so that you cannot contact him. Your self-harming is just blackmail - you are trying to make him responsible for your physical safety, but it is a responsibility he does not want. He keeps trying to tell you this. You need to get the message.

Let him go. Then go and get some help for yourself. We all need love and your boyfriend needs love too, but right now you can't truly love him because you are so needy. It is very painful to feel we are not loved, but you have to realise that your boyfriend also does not feel loved: he feels like someone who swam out to rescue a drowning person and now has their arms wrapped around his neck , strangling him and pulling him down.

Instead of trying to hang onto a relationship that is dead, et him go, and put all that energy into yourself. Get professional help and become the kind of person you wish you were. It's hard work but it's really possible. I'm nothing special, and I did it.

Go see your doctor today, and don't let him/her brush you off. Good luck.

Answer 8

You need someone in your life that you can trust. If you can love a person that treats you like this, then you have no understanding of how it feels to truly love someone that loves you back. You need to find some emotional support whether it be staying with a friend or finding a good therapist to get you through the initial hard times. But trust me when I say, this person will never change their colors. They know what you are willing to accept and they will always walk right on that line between right and wrong with you. Find someone that loves you truly and then you will know true happiness.

Answer 9

might be racist and not like me cause i am over weight. Since he is or has changed perception of me, our friendship is strong and he will remember me but dies off to someone who won't when intimacy involved since might say mean things. Is this it. I know that he knows and remembers me with a past up to the point where we are intimate then cannot remember since old self memory dies with new thought disorder of we never met , and if never met then nothing else could of happened. So only have friendship part mastered and anything else involving dating is died off by heartbreak trigger with new self protected thoughts to be mean or push away . Is this the correct answer. He woun;t remember past with me when friendship changes new thoughts come in since hallucination and new perception might of brought new clusters that include different behaviors and image can be portrayed bad if racist and might of even had other gf's and a child. if he does i am ok. and Not offended since new thoughts and self character traits are not familiar with myself and i cannot get offended. And accept. I am no longer bothered or jealous. How can i be. that's where i have a soul connection and with me here right now. And no i don't have concern if not intimate i don't have to be. If person would rather be with another i am fine with that too. His love made me strong. is this answer off track or correct . right or wrong, anything to add. I am not offended by what other does if not wanting to still be with me when change takes place and will be aware of bad character when takes place as new girlfriend or names maybe then i leave are perceived when he no longer has the perception of good characters turns evil so can

Answer 10

Katie, as hard as things feel right now, you have to take time to heal, and to gather yourself together, for your own sake

he has made his wishes quite clear, and this sounds so old-but you are better off without him, you do not deserve to be treated this way, or left feeling this way

how dare he treat you this way with so little regard for how YOU feel? he is being selfish, and even if he does want to move on, he should have gone about this very differently, a guy like him will fleet from one girl to the next

but girls like you will have someone who treats them right and will be with them because they want to be

please dont do anything rash, seek solice in a friend, or take time on your own, you deserve so much better than this

good luck, and best wishes

Answer 11

It really sounds like hes treating u like his puppet, u have to cut the strings.

I have felt like this before and i OD and slit my wrists.

Looking back on it now i can see how silly i was being.

U have to go out and get on with ur life i know that sounds so hard right now but u cant let a man like this be in ur life.

U will get over him and yes it will take time and u will probably cry a river but honestly find someone else get out there and enjoy urself.

Answer 12

I like your passion for life, you should take this passion with you and channel it into areas of your life that make you happy. You don't need this guy you need to be self relient, people up and down the country have family problems the reason these occur is because relationships are hard to maintain just like the one you are telling us about now. Behave yourself with this selfharming and try and build yourself some happiness. You have the ability to do this, we all do.

Answer 13

listen love he obviously doesnt care about you that much if he was going to just move away and not tell you and if he has been with other girls on you well then he isnt worth being with he does not realise how lucky he is to have some one that loves him as much as you do but seriously no-one is worth hurting yourlself over like that you should move on in life live your life and find someone that willl respect and apprittiate your love ..i wish you all the best now make the rite decision x

Answer 14

I think he knows how much you want him and thats why hes been so mean cutting all ties with you he says he loves you but then he says he cant be with you then moves away it wouldnt suprise me if he had someone else and was messing you around

You REALLY deserve better!! i think you sholud talk to a friend who will help you get over this guy and help you move on

Please dont self hrm agin sweetie no guy is worth that!!!

If you need to talk to me you can either im me or email me x

Answer 15

Your right you have problems and need help but it's not with the boyfriend...That chapter in your life is closed and you will need to accept that.



I see a young woman with low self esteem, clingy, needy. Afraid to take the first step to independence.



My advise to you ..counseling, self help courses, support group for women to help you realize that you are number one , you have self worth ; you are beautiful , intelligent,smart, independent and can accomplish what ever you set out to do.



Do not live in the shadow of someone elses life.



Learn to love yourself and who you are and TRUE mature love will find you..

This boy will become a distant memory

Answer 16

I am so sorry to hear your situation hun, but yes time does heal all wounds. There is someone out there for you that will treat you like a princess and just you the respect you deserve. Hope all goes well and remember that your strengths are shown by how you deal with sitatution like this. You can do this. good luck

Answer 17

im not exactly goin thru the same thing.. but yeah.. me n my guy we just separated after a bad fight..

listen sweetheart..i'll tell you what all im duin.. first of all we need to build up our self esteem.. what i hv learned frm this relationship is that.. we should never make our guy the man of our life.. fine we love him but that doesnt mean we cant be without hin.. ryt?? neways.. regarding self esteem.. honey u r the best no matter what.. if u think this way.. ur esteem is gonna shoot up.. join sum hobby classes.. like dancing or if u r into sports.. take up sum activity..it stimulates ur brain n believe me u feel alot better.. do stuff that you were not able to do wen u were with your guy.. by doing this u'll slowly start to get over him.. like i couldnt wear high heels with my guy.. coz he wsnt too tall.. now i only wear stiletoes.. its so much fun.. jus give yourself importance



sweety.. he has done so much to you.. hes not worth your crying for him... what are you cryin for?? wake up and see the beautifull world.. u were born without him.. n so u can live without him!!!!!!

Answer 18

Huni please dont harm yourself again. No man is worth that. It sounds to me like he doesnt love you the way he should. If he did he wouldnt treat you this way. I know its hard but you have to be strong and believe in yourself. You have to believe that you are worth more than this kind of treatment. He will have no respect for you if you chase him when he is pushing you away and you will lose respect for yourself into the bargain. I know its hard but try to move on. Fill your days with things you enjoy and slowly you will feel you need him less and less. I know this is hard to imagine right now but trust me it does work threw time. Eventually you will meet someone who will give you the love and respect you deserve and you will wonder what you ever seen in this guy! xxxx

Answer 19

Personally, I think he does not sound like a good boyfriend.

It sounds like a publicity stunt of some sort.

I've had a girl do this to me before though, she was a major b****. Just ignore him, act like he doesn't exist and focus on your future with somebody else, somebody better. Don't hurt yourself because of a jerk though, because that makes him win in the end.

Answer 20

He's not perfect, you're deluded by love. You're not alone. Once you see reality, inevitibly you'll be able to move on and you will find someone better. Don't hurt yourself, you sound like a good person. Feel better soon - S

Answer 21

This is a tough one Katie and as I see it all you can do is to ride it out. Self harming or OD ing aint gonna sort anything out. He dont want to know so you've got to get that inside your head. See it out for a couple of days and everytime you start thinking then change your thoughts.

Answer 22

If he has been seeing other women, then you are better off without him, if he cannot be trusted now, the last thing you want to do is marry him! Please do not self harm or OD, this is not your fault so why punish yourself, one day you will meet a person who wants to spend the rest of their life with you.

Answer 23

it has nothing to do with that you can get pregnat shoot if that was the trick condoms would have lost business.. weird lies they come up with these days no wonder why teenage pregnancy keeps rising.. the only way not to become pregnant 100% is bieng absidence but i dont believe that is possible for u.. u have to take birth control or codoms and you will be 75%safe than holding your breath

Answer 24

Well Hunni, It seems like you really love him and you would do anything for him!!!!! my friend went through the same thing, she was really in love with her boyfriend but he cheated on her and she was like you are.... you need to talk it through with someone you trust like your bestfriend and have a girlie night in it will make you feel si much better x

Answer 25

aw.. that sucks, i think you should try to go find someone new.. even if it's hard, you don't deserve that kind of treatment, Katie. And I'll pray for you too so that He'll help you get over him.

Our loved one left us because someone better is going to be with us in the future. =) so cheer up.

Answer 26

I'm curious why this particular guy, who has clearly never been that much into you, is the one to whom you chose to hand over complete power over your happiness and even your will to live. Was he really worth all that? Or are you and your happiness worth so little? *Please* call 800-SUICIDE and ask them for a referral to someone local who can help you regain a sense that you are neither hopeless nor helpless.

Answer 27

it really sounds like you're reliant on this guy and all he can do is mess around on you. you deserve to be treated better than what he's dishing out to you. i'm sorry, i don't mean to be harsh but his guy is a loser and he'll continue to cheat on you because he knows you put up with it! he knows you're being a "door mat" and that he can continue hurting you. the best advice i can give you is to move on w/out him and be happy. you are not happy with this guy if you're continually worrying about him. believe me, i was like this with my ex and it drove me mad.. i moved on without him! the best move i've ever made -) be strong !

Answer 28

You'll be feeling lower and lower for what's happening though you totally deserve better.



If he loved you, he'd talk about how he was feeling towards you and not suddenly leave, he may be telling you how much he loves you to keep you for sex or something similar.



Here's my Bebo if you want to PM more about it: www.bebo.com/discocampbell

Answer 29

oh no, katie

i dont think his worth it if he was seeing other girls when he was also seeing you thats not right.

trust me he may feel like the perfect guy, but truly he is not, slowly but surely you will be able to move on as a much happier person, have faith in yourself that you will find the "one", and that you will be happy.

if you want to talk more in private please email me without hesitation :-)

Answer 30

give me a few minutes 2 change my settings,& email me if u want.dont want 2 say 2 much here,but my life has just changed hugely.it is terrible ,but u will get thru it.email me plz.dont do anything silly.

Answer 31

please look in the mirror write now and admire what is looking back at you this is a life experiance that will make you stronger and yes it is hard breaking up with someone but always know that when one door closes another one opens good luck and look forward you are beautiful

Answer 32

katie, no man is perfect.



I thought I had the perfect guy, made for me - and he left.



live on, day by day; and forget him.



we women are astonishingly strong - believe me. its not easy, but after half a year, or a year, you'll be over him.

Answer 33

he's not worth fighting for!!! There are plenty of guys out there waiting for you sweetheart!!!



I'm quite sure that he's simply one of those guys who don't know how to value a good girl!!!

Answer 34

The truth is, your young and most guys do want to be single.





The trick is to "want" to be single to. Then you appear less needy.

Answer 35

get rid of him. hes the cause of most your problems. find someone new. youd be suprised how much better life can be.

Answer 36

get rid of him. hes the cause of most your problems. find someone new. youd be suprised how much better life can be.

Answer 37

tell him to straighten up his act no one deserves to be treated like that, if you want to talk about it email me.

Answer 38

You should have binned him long ago and gone for a more reliable model ! ! !

Answer 39

fined some other hottie or specila minded person or something

Answer 40

give it time, the universe will unfold it self

Answer 41

hes a dick head

Answer 42

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