Question:
Is it honestly easier to move on when you have closure?
2008-09-02 15:47:47 UTC
and what is 'closure' to be exact?
like what certain things in how a relationship ends will tell if you had closure?
Fourteen answers:
Dave
2008-09-02 15:53:49 UTC
For me knowing why it ended and being able to say good by





For me my list its

-Know why we broke up

-Know this wasn't some test to see if I'll fight for her

-break up sex and kiss (if we were that intimate), if you still have feelings for her the last time takes on special signifigance...its kind of burns in your memeory till you get over her. Which I can do a little quicker, than otherwise.
princessefl
2008-09-02 15:57:32 UTC
One way to look at closure is...it's an emotional resolution and should be a positive experience when two people part.



Closure in a dating situation is different for a lot of people, some think it would be a last kiss or sexual interlude, but mostly, it's a conversation where you discuss really being able to let go of one another and not getting back into the relationship because you BOTH acknowledge that there isn't a way to successfully be together.



It is always easier to move on when you know in your mind and in your heart that you're ready, and that moving on is the best thing for you. That's how you'll know you've reached closure in a relationship, because that's how you'll feel: Positive, and ready to move forward with your life.



Also, Don't feel pressured to see your 'ex' in person if that isn't what you feel you need. Closure doesn't demand being face to face. Do what is best in order to protect your feelings



Good luck and stay positive
Lora
2008-09-02 16:04:16 UTC
I think closure is talking it out with the other person and coming to terms with the fact that it is over. Does closure help you move on, yes, but only with time as well. It's not closure in itself that heals. The closure just gives you a resolution in your mind to move on. Some people take a year to get over a past love, some it takes longer. It's different for everyone. And it's always best not to bring someone else into those emotions that you need to deal with first before moving on with another relationship. For me, it's been over a year and I truly feel okay with it all now. I am ready to have another relationship, but only with a man that can truly commit to me without any other feelings from a past relationship.
jlgordonlb
2008-09-02 16:11:13 UTC
closure to an individual is same as trying the explain the meaning of love to someone. it's not something able to easlily be identified or explained. each individual is different when it comes to what they need for closure. in relationships closure could be returning all items that had been left at your home or given to you as a gift. throwing away any letters. or photos. closure could just be hearing the words it's over. to love and then have a loss it a horrible feeling weither it be a break up or a death.

some people it takes years to finally get over something that is emotional. relationships and death can make someone never want to love another or marry again, or make someone weary of having a relationship at all. don't let a breakup build a wall around your heart that makes you feel that you never had closure. you will know when you get closure, only you know of what that word means to you. and you alone can identify when you finally get it.
Vin
2008-09-02 15:57:25 UTC
Closure can mean various things.

When youre able to speak to the person you've split up with. Ask them questions on why things happened...and move on.

Letting go of the past. Forgiving yourself and moving on without having to consult the other person.



When you get closure, it helps you to move on. However, the beginning of getting closure is hard because you have memories with this person. Certain things you do, or scents will trigger a memory. After a while, things will become easier though.
GiBaBii3
2008-09-02 15:52:41 UTC
closure is when you know exactly what happened. it is true that it's a little easier to move on with closure because if you didn't have it you'd have questions burning in ur head for a long time. Moving on is never easy if you were close to a person it takes time but it''ll happen just take time out for yourself and you should be okay
?
2008-09-02 15:52:02 UTC
I don't think it's easier. Closure to me, is maybe when you find out certain details of a break up, like everything is out in the open. You know why he's breaking up or...perhaps you wanted to get something out of chest. That's closure.

I don't really believe in closure, because that doesn't necesarily make feelings go away. It just comfims things.
BikerChick
2008-09-02 16:36:55 UTC
We RARELY have much control over the way things end - especially if we are not the ones wanting things to end. "closure" means literally just that - CLOSING - ending, stopping, no longer open, done, over.



Having closure means you no longer FEEL within a relationship - you know it is over, and you are done with it. It does not have to mean you no longer CARE about someone, it means you no longer have any emotional attachment to them - very different feelings. For example - when I found my boyfriend had lied to me, I broke it off with him, and almost instantly lost all emotional attachment to him. I CLOSED that emotional door behind me and moved on. HE however, did not want to emotionally break it off and tried for months to win me back. Because I no longer FELT any strong emotion for him even though I still LIKED him, his efforts were a waste of his time. Now, years later, we are still good friends, but no matter what, I will never FEEL the way I once did for him.



Some people just cannot bring themselves to getting people out of their emotion bonds - they hang on, want to talk it out, figure out every detail or why this or that happened, and so on and so on..... I disagree with doing that, because it hampers you from moving on with your life. Once you let go, or you have been let go of, you need to just accept it, CLOSE it, and move on. Anyone CAN do it, it is not that hard, you just have to WANT and NEED to do it.
dreamin dancer
2008-09-02 15:55:48 UTC
It is much easier because if you have things you still want to say to him, maybe built up feelings or problems, you don't want them lingering in your mind, they should be confronted with. The brake up should be mutual, peaceful, and friendly as possible for closure to be accomplished. Say goodbye or acknowledge the goods times so the brake up really is closed. And don't feel embarrassed to tell him that you need to talk to him because you are having trouble moving on.

Good luck, and there's always more fish in the sea! (corny but true)
2008-09-02 15:52:37 UTC
i havent a clue but i'd love some closure!

i guess its acceptance of the relationship being over and being happy to move on. like you're not gonna be thinking about them all the time and you're over it.
kristin
2008-09-02 16:02:17 UTC
yess it is defiantly easier to move on with closure which is when you both decide to go your seperate ways and you agree on it and you make it known to each other
2008-09-02 15:54:10 UTC
Don't get so fussy over love, just tell the last one to shove and move on until you find one that fits like a glove.
liddy
2008-09-02 15:51:47 UTC
Yes, it is the easiest and best. You can get whatever you want off your chest and you will not be wondering "what if?" or other things.
Nessa♥
2008-09-02 15:51:40 UTC
yeah true its not that easy to move on but you have to and you can't do nothing about it unless you really loved them and go and get them but it is not easy to move on!


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