Long-distance break up... was this bad??

Question

I was in a LDR for about a year. My b/f has been going through some issues which ends up in him being withdrawn and shutting me out. In December he didn't contact me for a month, and then he came into town and apologised and I thought we would be able to work on things together. Well it was a bit rough and he wasn't communicating much. I started to try to make more of an effort - trying to reach out more - calling and texting more, to which he didn't often respond and would return calls somewhat infrequently. About two weeks ago he went completely silent again. I kept trying to reach him. No answer. No return calls. No response to texts. I finally texted and asked him to let me at least know he was ok. His response was an apology and a brief note saying that he wasn't doing so well mentally. I told him that if it was because of me at all that I would leave him alone and give him space - NO response. I sent him another text.. still no response.
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Answer 1

Can you go to his hometown?



It sounds like he's in a depression.



I think you tried your hardest and I'm trying to take his feelings and emotions and mental stability into consideration as well as your frustration & that's the only suggestion I could give... is to make plans to visit him ASAP and see if he's okay with your own eyes.

Then explain to him that maybe what he needs is time to himself, time to sort things out, work on himself, consintrate on whatever it is that is stressing him out... maybe right now isn't the time to have a GF... to have a relationship takes alot out of you, it forces you to think about someone elses feelings not just your own and to be there for them.. YOU are being there for him but what about him for you.. this isn't temporary and it's not getting fixed with you there.. I think you do need to step aside and as far as the text/email break up..... if you feel you have tried everything and a trip isn't possible anytime soon for whatever reasons..... then you did the right thing sweetie..

you're just feeling guilt because you're breaking up with no closure... and until he speaks with you.. you wont have any... and I'm sorry.. that sux.. and I've been there and ugh.. my heart goes out to you.. things will get better.. just pray that God takes care of him.. whether yal are together or not.. that he pulls him through this mental anguish.



((hugs))

Answer 2

I have a hard time believing the whole, "I'm messed up in the head...I'm sorry" excuse. It may be true. It may not. But the best thing you could do is to move on. If he comes around, then he comes around. But at least you won't be waiting around like a fool until if & when that happens. Just don't take it personally. It is rude of someone to keep you waiting. Your time in life is precious. Think more of yourself. And try to stay away from LDR's in the future. They're usually more trouble than they are worth. Good luck! xoxo

Answer 3

He is giving you the slip.Maybe I will answer maybe I won't.my advice there is someone special out there for you who won't do this to you. who will enjoy every moment with you.I was with a man for 7 years and he said the exact same thing.We are no longer together.I found that special someone who can't wait to see me when I wake up.I hope you find that guy that will treat you like a princess and will love you unconditionally.

Answer 4

I feel like you are doing the right thing , it sounds like this guy was looking for a way out and did not want the break up to be on him .

Answer 5

well i think he is trying to tell you that its not working i think he is afraid to tell you to your face but just break it off first to avoid the pain i know it will still hurt but why hurt all the time for someone who cant call you get someone who cares trust me you'll feel so much better with someone who will talk to you and even be able to hold you.

Answer 6

Don't bother with the relationship, its going to be a dead end, sorry.

Answer 7

if you must break up it is best to do it in person