Dating someone a bit older than you online?

Question

Hi,

I am a young (12 y/o) girl who is obsessed with the internet and video games. I mainly play minecraft, where I can be socially accepted and make new friends.

I have been wanting to ask this question forever. I am slightly ashamed of this, but about 4 years ago, I met an awesome group of friends and I have crushed on a few of them, but recently one of them has confessed their attraction towards me. He is currently 2 years older than me, very sweet and good humored. I have an odd instinct that he is definitely not lying about his age, we have talked many times VIA Teamspeak, and traded pictures of us in real life. (I know, not very smart. Then again I have known him for many years and we have gained each other's trust.) I definitely like him a lot, too. The only thing that bothers me is that I don't know if this is acceptable. I know for sure my parents would not accept this, because of my young age and the fact they dislike me talking to people online. So, I guess i'm asking is this okay? I mean like, I get being 12 years old and "dating" people isn't acceptable. I would just like to know if it is okay for him to like me and me to like him.
(Note: I tried to explain this as briefly as possible. I may add a few things in.)

Answer 1

No. Absolutely not.



You cannot trust anyone on the internet. Even me. I can say I'm a married woman in my 20's with two kids... but you can't know for sure. I could be 52 year old Billy Bob for all you know.... The internet gives people anonymity. Which means an ability to lie to you all day long and you have no idea if it's true. It's all on blind trust.



Girls and boys your age are prime targets for sexual offenders. That's the honest to God truth. And you need to be super careful. Do not send anymore pictures or personal information to anyone!

Answer 2

ONLINE is NOT Dating nor Relationship. It's all "contacts" and "pen-pals".

When you get into a relationship and spend "one on one" time with someone, you know what I'm talking about. You can from a "friendship" with ANYONE, ANYWHERE, but till you are face to face with people... you don't Really know anything about them.



You can be infatuated, entertained, comforted and less lonely by someone you have "never" met face to face (in person), but NOT Love.

Too many "unknown" facts.

Online… You have a PEN PAL relationship… NOT Love relationship.

Example: I HAD A MEXICAN FRIEND who was taking English classes 3 times a week. There was this blonde Russian girl in the class with him. He was so deeply in LOVE with her, that he would go to these classes even if he was dead tired. He wanted to see her so bad each week, but was too scared to ever talk to her. Partly because of his English and mostly because she was a Beautiful Blonde Russian GIRL. On the last day of classes they had a little banquet. He finally got up the nerve to say something to her. He goes to her "scared to death" and says "Hi". She was a very nice and sweet girl. She smiled BIG and said HI back. She had the worst breath he had ever smelled on a person and his interest in her dropped like an anchor in the deep sea. Point is: There are things you can't know about a person just by looking at them or talking to them online or text or phone or mail. It's called JUDGING A BOOK BY ITS COVER. Most of the time, you're gonna find you F'ked up.

Answer 3

As someone who knows a lot about online games like minecraft and the inner social workings of gaming communities I can definitely say that predators are A LOT more uncommon than you d expect. In fact I haven t run into a single person who claimed to be young when they weren t, usually people lie about their ages to seem older to be "cooler" or seen as "more mature".



With that said, there are definitely also people like that who wish to harm you. A good way to know for sure who someone is would be to videochat with them, nothing can happen to you over a video but if you see the person talk to you and their mouth moves along to their words you can be pretty safe they re who they claim to be (looks wise). They might still lie about their age, name, location or anything else. You should also be able to tell if a person is there to play a game or for other reasons, like if they actually know anything about the game or community and actually interact with it. You can also tell by how someone talks, a 14 year old and a 56 year old definitely have a different arsenal of words.



I think that older generations are just not very aware of how things like these work, I ve grown up with the internet and online gaming, and now that I m older I can definitely see the concerns certain adults have, but I think if you re careful enough you can be safe.



To answer the actual question, I agree that online dating isn t the same as IRL (In Real Life) dating, but if you meet up regularly it can work. I wouldn t start a relationship with someone unless I d met them in person and spent some time with them before. Also with your age you shouldn t really be "dating" seriously anyways.



There s no problem with having online friends, but it s probably good to not share too much information about yourself, I wouldn t tell anyone more than your first name and general location (like your city assuming it s a larger one) but nothing detailed like your address, last name or school name. If you know someone very well and have known them for a considerable amount of time you need to decide for yourself.



I ve met many of my (now real life) online friends in person, and it was an amazing experience every time. I d say at your age you definitely need to be more careful than others, if you do ever meet someone you HAVE TO make sure your parents know and are okay with where you are going/meeting them.



I hope this helps you consider your situation and also gives anyone else reading this some insight into this topic.

Answer 4

I will definitely take your advice. Obviously I have not come to the absolute conclusion that the internet is definitely NOT a safe place, and the world isn't as friendly as I thought it was.



Thank you for replying.