Boyfriend almost cheated.?

Question

My boyfriend apparently almost cheated on me nearly a month ago.

Last month I accidentally left a trash bag out only to come home to garbage all over the kitchen from my dogs going through it. In the midst of the mess I found a condom and a wrapper. We have been together for 5+ years and never used condoms (I'm on BC and we've always been monogamous). When he gets home I confront him about this.

At first he lies and tells me he almost hooked up with a stripper...then tells me "the truth". He met up with an old HS friend that use to have a crush on him. They went out to lunch then he took her to her place. He went inside to say hi to her parents (apparently they were good to him when he was younger). She invited him upstairs to see her room/old school photos.

Apparently he then talked about how she had a crush on him. Next thing he knows he's putting a condom on for a b******. He stops her before she continues then runs out.

After he confessed this story he went on and on and on about how he regrets it, how he loves me, how it's not the true person he is....blah blah. For weeks I didn't speak to him. I would have left but unfortunately we are both on the lease of our place and have 2 dogs together.

When I asked th girl about it she denied everything. He came up with some nonsense about how he wore the condom home and took it off when he realized it was still on. OH and keep in mind that this was the day before my 26th birthday that this nonsense happen (I found the rubber on the 13th).

I am truly at a loss as to what I should do. A lot of my friends say leave him totally when the lease is up. Some say try to make it work with therapy since he's always been a nice guy me good to me which is true. Still though I get moods in which in just wanna punch him square in the face.

I keep seeing soooo many of my friends insanely in love and happy. I'm truly jealous. Many of them are getting married and his excuse for no marriage is due to th fact that he wants a career first even though I told him I didn't even mind doing city hall.

There are days that are good and some days I just cry to myself. Should we even go to therapy? Or should I just remain civil until another housing option becomes available. It's hard. I find it sneaky that he deleted all of the texts to this girl and was kind of hesitant in letting me see his pictures because "there are possible engagement rings" on there.

Answer 1

"Next thing he knows he's putting a condom on for a b******. He stops her before she continues then runs out."



As a guy, I don't believe that for one minute. If he has been monogamous with you for FIVE years, why would there be any risk of her getting some STD and needing a condom for a B.J.???



Nope. That doesn't pass the smell test. She likely told him no condom and he threw it in the trash. She had a crush on him and he would have been disease free since you were his only lover for 5 years. She blew him without the condom.



There is no way you will ever be able to erase the image from your memory about him getting naked with her. Your trust level in him will never get back up to 100% for the rest of your life.



And then his story changes. You know what you have to do. Sorry that you lost 5 years.

Answer 2

Well at least he told you. If you find out he was lying, dump him. But when a girl throws your body to you, as a guy, its difficult to refuse. If he did that, then he thinks you are something special for sure :).

However, do what you think is best. I think he should show you his pictures though.

Answer 3

Us humans, we're animals.. we have animal instincts thats why when we see a good looking person of the opposite sex we usually fantasize about doing something with him/her. As males we're basically made to want to produce as many offsprings and have as many mates as we can. thats just the way it is, it is hard in todays sex obsessed society to stay faithful, many people cheat and do not tell their partners and never will. Its just the way it is. Do what you feel is best for you