Why do i attract 'players'?

Question

a few years ago, there was this guy i had a crush on for ages. i eventually told him about it, he flirted, then he gets with my best friend behind my back and gets her pregnant. great right?
after that i suppose it damaged me a bit, i didn't let myself like anyone for about a year for fear of me getting hurt. so this new guy comes along. first i wasn't into him, but then he told me he likes me. he's gorgeous so i though no way. we flirted for months, i'm insecure so i didn't go for it, he started flirting with my friend to make me jealous, then he'd switch from being a complete b**** to being amazingly sweet. now we don't talk.

throughout the drama of the last guy there's always been this other one. complete sweetheart. about 2 months ago we started talking way more, every time i see him he'll always have to get my attention etc. calls me beautiful, all sweet.... but nah, i still didn't like him, i don't trust boys at all. so only last week he was flirting with me etc, then the past 3 days he's been putting into statuses about some other girl being his 'chick' now he's put a picture up of him and her? thanks. idiot.

i'm only 16, but this drama with boys is really mentally damaging me. i'm the 'fit' one in my group of friends yet i'm the only virgin? i'm not easy at all, never done anything sexual in my life. i'm not easy to get to know either, i put all my barriers up. so why do i attract all the players? it makes me feel so bad about myself.

Answer 1

I've had that problem the last year too. I'm also 16 and confused as f*ck. -_- I've decided that to avoid getting hurt, I'm going to go for it. I always get really close to dating a guy and I end up pushing him away to avoid another...I wouldn't really call it heart break, but another disappointment. Open up to a guy. Change the guys that you generally go for. Break down your barriers and give in to loving someone.



I hope this sort of helped that I can relate to you. It sucks, but life goes on and eventually you'll find a guy that would run off after a few months of flirting and nothing else. You just have to work at it and be willing to let yourself fall.

Answer 2

Well you're just 16, so you haven't seen anything yet. Right now, you're still dealing with boys. In about 2-4 years you'll have men to contend with. I guess also too maybe its the barriers you put up. Boys that are new to women are not use to barriers, so your barriers could be knocking out the non players. Players clearly know how to dodge your barriers and find that chink in your armor. I guess the best thing you could do is just go have fun with your friends and the guys will eventually come.

Answer 3

Don't let other boys get to you. And plus you're still learning more and more. This is only the beginning. You'll soon learn from your own experiences and find your way to the right guys with them. Tip: Don't let your innocence and virginity go just to make yourself feel better about who you are and especially for anyone. I'm sure you're smart enough to know that, though (;

But don't worry about those other guys and don't let them mentally hurt you. And don't assume that all guys in the world are players beccause that'll just bring up those barriers of yours even higher. Try to open up to people more and experiment. But remember to always be true to yourself and that there will always be the right guy for you (: You just haven't met him yet.



The only one who can hurt you is you!

Answer 4

You should use anti player deodorant.

Answer 5

maybe it's because you're pretty. i don't know, pretty girls get the boys.