"But Can We Be Friends?".. Yeah. Right?

Question

Are you one of those noble people who can actually accept that lame option when you're getting dumped?

I'm not.

It's just a nice way of saying "I'm not attracted to you sexually."

If ever I'm given that choice, I turn it down. It's the most honest answer. Why? Because if the attraction is one-sided, actual friendship will Never work. It's doomed from the start.

& what're you suppoed to do if/when they hook up w/ someone else? Pretend to be "happy" for them? BS.

I'd rather be honest & say "No. All or nothing. Screw friendship."

Yeah. I've been burned before...

Answer 1

I'm in the "let's be friend" stage right now. I've been dealing with it for a little over a month now and I'm almost about to give it up. It's doomed just like you said. How can you just be friends with someone you are madly in love with? how can you watch them walk with someone else? It hurts...and I think not being their friend is easier yet still hard at the same time. I hate this feeling...

Answer 2

I know where you're coming from, it's happened to me before. But then again, I am still very good friends with my most recent ex. We broke up... nine months ago. Took a while to get over it, and it WAS weird for a month or two, but we've both moved on and now I don't find it even a little difficult to see him with his girlfriend (and no, I have not had a boyfriend since him). We hadn't been dating for that long though (four months) and it never got really super serious, so that could have something to do with it as well.



The other one though... we broke up, said we'd be friends, then he wouldn't talk to me. And when he finally decided he wanted to it was stupid, childish insults and bitterness. It was pathetic. Better off without a "friend" like that!

Answer 3

I've been burned too. Once I break up with someone there is no going back. Friends? ha...Once you've taken a relationship to 100%, how can you take it down and settle for 35%.? The most I can do is try an remain cordial. I say good ridence-hook up with who ever..mabe they will take the BS.

Answer 4

From a grls side "friends" means But can we still f@#$.



I won't call you unless I need some and If you call know what I expect. I will indulge you in some minor chit chat but we will not be talking for hours. I will not remember your birthday and my money will be going towards a bottle of my favorite drink for my next girlfriend who will tolorate this sort of "friendship".



I stay away.

Answer 5

I agree about the nice way of saying thing, although you don't want to exclusively say 'sexually'...I think it means 'chemistry'. The all-over excited, butterflies in your stomach feeling! Especially when you are young that's what you want and expect. Friendship does not mean much when you are young (I am talking teenagers and mid-twenties)...

Answer 6

Geez. At least it is a polite way to break up. The correct answer is "sure" even if you don't mean it, or "I think that'll be uncomfortable, but I wish you well." It doesn't only mean "I'm not attracted to you sexually." Sex is not the only ingredient of a relationship, you know.

Answer 7

If someone dumped me and offered friendship I'll probably take the friendship. I know that I'm a great person and if they can't see themselves with me, then thats fine, its their loss. I deserve to be with someone who will appreciate me, there's no need to be bitter about it.

Answer 8

"having the love of your life break up with you and say 'we can still be friends' is like your dog dying and your mom saying 'you can still keep it'"



thats all i have to say.

Answer 9

A guy saying 'we can still be friends' is like your mom saying your dog died but you can still keep him.

Answer 10

i pity you. depending on how the break up works, friendships can still last. harsh break ups have no friend ship.