Work interest turned to confusion~! Please help?

Question

Well I am recently out of a relationship and began working at my old place... like cheers minus the bar scene... everyone is great friends. Well I am interested in this guy and I feel he is interested in me as well but he is super shy and I am interested in the basics of dating... nothing serious but I know the normal fears of seeing someone right out of a relationship but I don't want to treat him as a rebound... I did not expect to be interested in anyone but he's great- how can I let him know I am interested without saying it due to work, I dont want to make things uncomfortable. Any advice would be appreciated~ Mahalos~!

Answer 1

Just try chatting on a friendly basis for a while and see how it goes from there. If the subject of going out on a date comes up tell him you are not sure as you are not long out of a relationship and reluctant to date on what some might see as the rebound. At some point you will have to start dating again as you are interested in him and he in you he might just be the one. On the other hand you could just say yes and tell him nothing about your previous relationship after all we all have a past, and it is just that, the past, so time to move on and start again. It's not your fault you have an interest in someone else so soon, we cannot predict our own fate. Go for it and be happy.

Answer 2

Bosses and businesses like to talk about "keeping it out of the workplace" but the sad fact is that "work" is where we meet the most people these days. As long as one of you doesn't report to the other one, then don't let it stop you from having fun.



To talk to the guy, make it "third person", not a direct question. Lines like "I haven't been down to the beach lately", or "I don't like going to the movies by myself" are pretty clear lead-ins without being committal. If the guy isn't interested, he won't offer. If he doesn't understand, then you need to find another guy, or be willing to draw this one a picture.



I forgot one thing: leave the previous relationship out of it. No guy is interested in the past. If you have boundaries, just say what they are. "No kissing, just friends, no sex, etc." You don't have to go into the why's and wherefore's because he will not be interested in them. Women feel they need to "explain" these things, but often the explanation turns into a lot of baggage that just makes things unpleasant for everybody.

Answer 3

He won't consider your recent relationship a problem if you are sincere. The best relationship I ever had (and one I'm still in right now) started within a week of my last one ending. I was friends with this girl for months, and we really got along. After my ex broke up with me, I asked her out, and things kicked off like the 4th of July.



My advice: Don't let your past relationship get in the way - as long as you don't act like it's a problem, he won't make it one.