Help! Boyfriend watching porn?

Question

So my boyfriend watches and has pics of the x-rated nature. I used to be fine with this. But one time I wanted to borrow his lab and he literally ran away from me, trying to delete all of it.
I caught a few looks. But later he didn't understand how completely mad I was. The few looks I caught I saw some pics of a nude blonde that was quite busty ( very different than me). First of all I thought porn was only video and stuff why pics? and why do i feel so crappy that they look so different from me? I feel so angry and hurt and he thinks I'm making a big deal of it. He says they're nobody, but I still feel betrayed somehow. Help please?

Answer 1

There is nothing wrong with him watching porn but he shouldn't hide it from you - i like to watch it with my man - it is incredibly hot watching him become aroused !!! It doesn't mean anything - don't feel betrayed let hm know how you feel and work around it together.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Every guy out there watches porn or has watch porn at some point in there life. But i understand your worries and anger i been there. Tell him that your not making a big deal about it but the thing is that you don't understand why he makes it such a big deal and part of his life. I mean come one porn all over your lab and trying to delete it all last minute that tells you a lot. And the reason why you feel betray that these girls look different then you is because it may make you feel that he is attracted to other chicks with different physical characteristics something you were completely unaware of and this might make you feel less attractive.perhaps you though he would find someone that have your similar features. Just talk to him about it in a calm way and tell him how you feel.-best of wishes

Answer 4

I understand... watching sex... is different to having pictures of busty girls.... he isn't turned on by the sex but by the girl.... and for a woman that can be a pretty big deal...



Here's the deal, porn is unhealthy for him and the relationship... If you are religious, for you it is then also sinful ... he is fantasizing about another woman, yes that woman is a porn star but she is also ANOTHER woman.... she could very well be the lady next door or the girl at work... porn is for adolescents who are curious ... porn is not for men and women in serious and committed relationships... if my boyfriend watched porn I'd leave him.... I'M the ONLY woman he should fantasize about, see naked and associate sex with... period.... and you honey deserve the same....



Good luck... I think you have a big decision to make..... Thing is for a man to be strong enough to say 'no' also tells you so much about his character.... if he cant say 'no' to the women on screen how can he say 'no' to the real thing.....?

Answer 5

It would have helped if you told how old you guys are...



This is a very common problem most of the girls have to deal with....

Well, it's not like he's cheating on you with another woman...but in some people's books it may not be so..



Anyway, as a female you have to understand that the male pattern of thinking is completely different to ours. It is al most a part of their growing up process to watch a bit of porn. I know it is not considered moral...but you've got to let them realize it on their own.

In their teenage years they are fascinated by it & are almost obsessed with porn. Then they watch it if they get hold of good stuff(interesting stuff)..Then they usually get tired of it as they mature & they're more interested in the real thing!;)



It is natural for you to get offended & feel a little jealous. But try to reason things out....see, him admiring those busty women is like us girls drooling over George Clooney, Bradd Pitt or any other hunky celebrity. That doesn't mean you'd wanna leave YOUR man for a fantasy, right? Why? Because you love your boyfriend for who he is...



It is the same thing with the guys....I know it is easier said than done..but you have to understand this bit & it'll definitely improve your relationship.



It's ok for a guy to watch porn on & off....It only becomes a problem if he is ONLY aroused by porn & not by the real thing with you....or sometimes there are people who get addicted porn.



Just give the man his privacy. We all need our space some of the time.

But just let him know how you feel about it. That doesn't mean you should scream at him & pull another fight.

Just talk to him & also try to look at it from his point of view as well.



Take it easy.

Answer 6

do you feel betrayed because he's looking at porn or because he's hiding it from you?



I would be upset over the sneakiness personally. He's hiding it because he's not comfortable with it for whatever reasons.

Did you really used to be okay with it? He may just be hiding it from you because he doesn't want you to be upset with him.



either way, you need to find out. I personally would just ask to see some of it. If he asks why, just tell him you're curious... that's true isn't it?



My boyfriend watches porn all the time. I have no problem with it because he's not dirty and sneaky about it.

I think it's more of a taboo than anything and that he'll loosen up when he realizes it's not a big deal with you.

Answer 7

Men are such pigs!!! No he should not be doing that. Porn is for single guys, who can't get any for themselves and need to fantasize over pictures, and than.... you know, try and please themselves. (they end up having to wash alot of socks)

He has no excuse... he is with you! You should be the only girl he wants to see naked. You should be the only girl that he fantasizes about. Tell him exactly how you feel. And just to warn you, he's not going to change. Porn is very addictive, and I know that it has ruined marriages before because the man became so addicted to porn.

I'm not saying all guys are the same.. Atleast I hope that there are still guys out there who will love just one woman... and think that one woman is enough for them without having to have porn. If you're single, great. Porn is definitely for you. But if you're in a relationship, than I think it's wrong. To me it's cheating. Ugh!! I don't even want to get started. It really

p isses me off tho... the subject of porn...

So i guess my advice is... tell him exactly how you feel, and that you think it's just like cheating. maybe get some guy porn and see how he feels. and if nothing else, find someone else. Someone who will have naked pics of YOU all over their computer, not of some girl who looks NOTHING like you. What an @ss hole

Answer 8

Your main problem with porn and the other (busty) women is all about your own insecurities and low self esteem. If you had good/high self esteem and self worth, other girls would not be a threat to you in any way. Also, if you had high self respect, you would tell your partner how insulting and cheating it is for him to be indulging in porn or any other intimate activity with other people.

You should feel 'betrayed' and set your foot down with him about his CHEATING behavior. Would he like it if you were engaged in drooling over male porn stars etc.? I'd guess not! It's mostly about self respect and standing up for your values when your partner betrays or offends you.

Answer 9

been there, done that.we broke up because of exactly same thing. can tell you one thing it does not go away no matter how hard you try, neither the way you feel nor his little hobby. at first he couldn't realise why it was such a big deal for me so i left some porn on my laptop with amazingly hot guys. then he realised :))) haha. but still, the addiction didn't go away... so i don't envy you. but you have to be strong and make a choice. :) all the best to you, honey.

Answer 10

I had a mate who was round my place with his girlfriend . He pull up a few porn pics of a girl ( they were pretty impressive) but hell Ive never seen his gf get so angry ever wow . Guys look at porn - doesnt mean they like you less . Doesnt mean its acceptable either however . You have to impress this on him - He will probably abstain for a while and then do it a bit more secretly later

Answer 11

I have to say that the reason men look at porn is because its so different from your average girl and your averafe shag! I wouldnt worry at all if its just normal porn unless the pics of these girls are from someone he knows and they are actually sending him pics of themselves, then that is wrong!

Porn is fantasy! Most normal men dont compare real women or real life sex to porn as they know its staged its just a nice thing to look at and dream about... The only thing that would worry me here is that he wouldnt let u see it, my partner lets me see the porn he has, we sometimes even watch it together, but then maybe he knew u'd react like this, ask him why you cant see it? but honestly dont worry about it porn is there for men to dream about fake hot women, thats its purpose!

Answer 12

oh man porn hu? tell me about it...well depends on what your guys status in the relationship, are you guys having sex? are you not doing some things he wants you to do? you shouldn't feel crappy and just talk to him about it and tell him how you really feel, cause if he keeps this up then your relationship will fall apart believe me i've been through it...

Answer 13

This is cheating. You are not making a big deal about it. Of course he's going to say that. Ask him how would he feel if you were oogling guys with 9" long cocks (much different from him I'm sure) And then I want you to start looking at pics of guys with 9" long cocks on your computer and let him see you doing it.

Answer 14

Uhmmmm, technically he cheated on you, it's like think about this when he is watching porn what do you think he is doing? What/who is he thinking about?, so that's reason enough right.

Answer 15

he's a guy they look at and watch porn all the time..no offence guys.

-amanda

Answer 16

thats funny he ran away deleting it. im picturing that in my head. Just watch some and give him the same sex you see in the pictures/ videos.

Answer 17

Its porn. He's not going home to that girl, now chill out.

Answer 18

that's F***ED up!!! you don't deserve to be treated that way at all. he's NOT respecting you dump that *****!!!! (sorry i'm so dramatic, but my mom's boyfriend tried to pull the same stunt, it was so messed up)

Answer 19

tell him you want to watch it with him and keep a very open mind

Answer 20

lash out by giving him even better naked pics of you