Question:
Is the girl being a player or not?
California resident
2011-03-21 15:19:00 UTC
So I've been talking to this girl for a couple months now and have hung out alot before I had to move 19 hours away for my job for 6 months for management training. I was introduced by my best friend who is also her best friend because this girl has wanted to talk to me for months. I am not the jealous type by any means, and is cool with me when she is hangin out with her guy friends. I always get txts from her how she misses me and wishes i was there to cuddle and how I would be a great BF. Well the other day she wanted to come visit me, and honestly I didnt think she would actually go through with it. But she is driving the 19 hours to come spend the weekend with me and then driving back. So it sounds like she likes me huh?

Well here is where I get confused. She is open about her hangin with this one guy in particular through txts to me and through facebook when she is hangin out with him, and on her facebook she says she is in a relationship with him,which has been like that for months so its not like I didnt see it before. I just assumed that it was some kind of joke between them or something, cus she posts and gets tagged in alot of pictures of her hanging all over me,and there is not one of him. She also posts how she cant wait to see me and how she has a skype date with me pretty much everyday.

So if she was trying to hide a relationship she is doing a pretty bad job at it. My thing is I dont want to ask her and come off looking like a controlling or jealous dude. I just want to know if this relationship is worth pursuing, cus I dont like people that cheat, and I dont want to be the person cheating with her. So any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Eleven answers:
anonymous
2011-03-21 15:27:49 UTC
When you see her again, go straight to the point and ask her : "do you have a bf?" You 'll know it if she lies to you & you wouldn't seem jealous. It's normal for you to want to know. Or make your self scarce and see if she will chase you. First option is the honest one. The second one is a bit of a mind game. Some people like the honest approach. Some others like playing games & love the thrill of the chase. It all depends on your desires/intentions, the circumstances, your type of personality & the type of personality of the person you are messing with. Good luck!
John D.
2011-03-21 15:55:04 UTC
She is playing you dude. She wants a little something on the side. She is using you and if you have any respect for yourself you will just drop her. You can still be friends if you want, just get someone else, she isn't ready for anything serious yet. One day she will regret this, that is if you don't just be a backup bf. There is a girl out there that will give you all of her time and not play you. Girls have learned this is okay it's are job as guys to show them it will only bring them heartache.
Elena
2011-03-21 15:25:06 UTC
it might be a joke. i had engaged to my male best friend. i think dont talk to her about it yet UNTIL something happens. right now you are not her boyfriend, so you dont have the right to say anything. wait until she comes to see you and something happens and then you can take it from there and talk about what you are and what the rules are. i mean, maybe she likes you but since you live in a whole other city she might not want to be exclusive. just listing the worst case scenario. just take it slow and i think such a conversation is just better face to face. also you can't really discuss a "relationship" with her since nothing happened yet. but dont worry, it sounds like there definitely isnt anything with that other guy, or else she definitely wouldnt be posting things about you in her status.
cooperider
2016-12-28 10:04:03 UTC
i'm a former expert baseball participant, and starting to be up there grow to be a woman that grow to be a strategies extra effective than me. even regardless of the undeniable fact that, I by no ability hated on her. however the clarification that men will hate on her is via the fact there delight gets interior the way. no person needs to be shown up by using a woman. In my undemanding opinion, being that your daughter is 13, i think of it somewhat is approximately time you start to place her in softball. the clarification being that she can not get any scholarships to play college baseball, even regardless of the undeniable fact that, on the different hand she ought to probably be recruited college softball. i think of you all ought to think of long term. you mustn't care approximately what men or boys think of. you have not something to instruct to every person. it somewhat isn't the 60s. evaluate your daughter's destiny over all of those trivial issues. I actually have a daughter besides, and my reason is to allow her play little league first and then change over first, so as that she might have some what of a leg up on those ladies that during effortless terms began enjoying softball.
anonymous
2011-03-21 15:26:54 UTC
It's probably just a joke. People are always doing that on facebook, and she wouldn't be that open about you on a social networking site if she had a boyfriend on it. Just forget it, but if it's really bothering you, ask. Personally, I think some girls like jealous guys. But, if you think it'd be to akward to ask her, Message the other guy and ask if they are dating, get his side too!
Michelle
2011-03-21 15:22:36 UTC
HAHA! This is so what people do at my school! Anyway, us girls do that with our best guy friends sometimes! We'll say we are married with them or in a relationship when we aren't! We are just joking around! However, if you are so concerned, ask her face to face! Ask her if she is in a relationship with her! But, she is has some feelings with you!
?
2011-03-21 15:39:00 UTC
I would ask do not be afraid to ask her no you are not jealous but asking her if she is seeing him is a good idea if she tells you not to worry and her actions are different from what she says then you can say shes a player but asking also keeps your heart from getting broken always be strait up how you feel no matter what but also she needs to be strait up too good luck
Tiffy
2011-03-21 15:26:04 UTC
Without asking her if they're dating, just simply ask her who the guy is.

Maybe they're just friends. A lot of girls seem to put a boy or girl as "in a relationship" on facebook just as a joke. Maybe that's what it is. But ya, ask her that question. that's what id do.
Papa Bear
2011-03-21 15:23:50 UTC
She may be ok with seeing more than one guy at a time. If you are not ok with it, she is the wrong woman for you. Just talk to her, and see what the deal is.
anonymous
2011-03-21 15:26:16 UTC
You have to be straight with her - and yes ask questions. It`s not right you are in the dark - you deserve to know exactly what is what here. Ask her.
cakester
2011-03-21 15:24:22 UTC
if u want this relationship to work then justask her if

ur really suspicus

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