Is it wrong to check your boyfriend's email?

Question

We've dated seriously for 1.5 years now, just FYI. We exchanged our email passwords earlier in the relationship, just in an act of complete trust. My girl friends have been telling me some of their secrets in their emails to me, so I changed mine and he obviously can no longer check mine and probably never did either. I am a very curious person however and occasionally checks his just to see what's going on with him or who's emailing him. I'm not afraid of any woman figure or anything, there's just an itch to do it and satisfy my curiosity because I have the password to do so. And yes, I confess that I do read some of the emails that he has already read. I certainly don't open any of the unread new ones, because that would give me away. Is what I'm doing wrong?

Answer 1

If you doubt what your doing is right, you should reconfirm the boundaries with him. Tell him you felt the need to change your password to protect your friends privacy. How does he feel about you still reading his mail. (He may realize he needs to protect his friends privacy - you never know what they are going to send). I.E. If he says you guys should stop that, don't take it personally.



And consider if you read something that worried you, would you feel free to bring it up with him. If not it would create distance between the two of you. If you could bring it up with him, you can be honest enough with him to have the conversation in my first paragraph.

Answer 2

Women tend to have more curiosity than men, so it's natural that we nosy our way into our men's lives and personal content. And i feel that even though you've changed your password, you, i wouldn't say have the right, but the privilege to check his mail if you wish. It's not like you go behind his back and do it, you guys clearly exchanged passwords. And even though you have friends e-mailing you secrets, i wouldn't think you'd have any reason to change your password, if you truly think he isn't checking in the first place. Besides, i share secrets with my boyfriend because i trust him to keep it a secret.



It does seem like you have latent trust issues with him even though you deny it.

Answer 3

I don't think it was a good idea to exchange passwords to begin with. I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year and he's been my friend for a year before that. He's given me his passwords for me to check his email or his website for him. I never gave him mine though. I completely trust him... but just because he gave me his doesn't mean I should give him MINE. Some things you just keep to yourself.



And yes, since I know my boyfriend's passwords, I have a curiosity to check up on him. But I don't. It's called privacy. Learn to give him some.



I think you SAY you trust him.... but deep down inside, you really don't... just look at the signs.







I also know someone who checks her ex-boyfriend's website all the time. She SAYS that she's just curious and that she's over him... but ya gotta be honest here... she still loves him. : / Take the sign.

Answer 4

Absolutely not wrong...if you suspect he's a serial rapist, killer, escaped convict, married, etc.... otherwise, you should not be snooping in his mail. Should not have exchanged passwords in the first place. When you changed yours, you should have suggested he change his and maintain both of your privacy. You're sneaking and snooping...not a good way to maintain a relationship. If he's smart, and wanted to do something dishonest, he certainly would find a way. So chill out and trust him or.....?

Answer 5

my bf and i have been dating for 2yrs now..... both have passwords to eachothers accounts...... if u trust him ,then u wouldnt be snoopin....... c'mon why else would u read the email hes already read?! there has to be trust in the relationship. plus the fact that u changed ur password, isnt fair to him, cuz even if he wanted to snoop around, he wouldnt have access. So yes there is something wrong with what you're doin. Trust Eachother!

Answer 6

Yes. You changed your password to hide your stupid girl friends' secrets but you think it's OK to snoop on HIS secrets? What you're doing is not only wrong, it's fvcking hypocritical and you should be ashamed of yourself. Either let him snoop through your emails, or put an end to this snooping BS and quit prying into each other's personal lives.

Answer 7

yes i would think so from a man's perspective because the exchanging of passwords is an act of trust but u should not want to go thru his things even tho u can

Answer 8

I think it is perfectly okay, and for this reason ONLY. You both exchanged passwords. That right there gave the okay for you to check eachothers emails. Had you not done that, I would think it was completely wrong.

Answer 9

Why did you exchange passwords again? That's going too far (and it's kinda weird). Basically you're spying on him because you don't really trust him. If you did then why are you checking his e-mail?

Answer 10

Well if he gave you the password no it's not wrong but since you changed yours and he doesn't have it then yes. If you don't want him to read yours then don't read his. Tell him you changed your password because of friends revealing secerts and see if he thinks you got something to hide,that's what it sounds like to me.

Answer 11

well if u both trust n love each other u neednt to exchange passwords to read each other's emails.....dnt stopp so low...even if u dnt find anything in his mail he still can cheat with other girls in real world...so thats not an excuse to keep a watch on him buddy.....its ur heart who can answer ur query not someone on yahoo answers...

Answer 12

you can have more than one email account. so if he wanted to be sneaky he could have one for junk mail and for you to check and another one for his "special" friends. stop prying and let him breath. No its not OK to check his mail. But I would check the History and if its clean look in cookies and if that's clean look at the virus scan reports.

Answer 13

Yes. On all levels that is wrong.



If you don't trust him, you shouldn't be with him.



If you are doing it out of curiosity, think how you would feel if it were done to you.

Answer 14

yes you don't trust him and you're being noisy

Answer 15

it is wrong to invade other peoples privacy... would you like it???