Question:
Date 2 - went really well - but not heard from him!?
aimzmarie
2011-08-03 09:24:50 UTC
Right, I'll be the first to admit that I'm no good at dating. I met this guy 2 years ago - went on a date - nothing more happened - can't remember why!
Anyway we bump into each other a few weeks back and decide to go out for a drink. Really nice guy, nice evening chatting. End of the night we have a kiss (which went on for about 20mins!!). Said he would call and then text me that night saying we should do it again - which I agreed. Now, he is RUBBISH at texting. Like, takes about 8 hours to reply!! He admits he rubbish! Anyway, second date a week later with the odd text messages inbetween. Date 2 went well. End up kissing for an hour (nothing more, as don't want to jump into that just yet). He goes and tells me he will see me soon. That was 3 days ago. I text him the day after date 2 to say hello and ask if he got home ok. Nothing back. Next day, I knew he was on night shift and finds it boring so text him a funny video about using things in the work place to have a giggle. Nothing. I'm used to guys texting by now or at least replying. I'm surprised he hasn't text back as he always has at some point. He seems very laid back etc and just a really nice guy. I'm just no good at this. Do I wait until the end of the week and then assume he is no longer interested? I just don't get why it would take a few mins to text and say he's ok and will ring soon??? He doesn't seem the sort to play games. Trust me, I'm not being needy but just insecure really. I get freaked out if I think a guy is just going to play games and mess me about. He may not be but its happened to often and I just want some advice from guys or girls. I know everyone is different. Just seems there was that interest there and now none. Odd!
Nine answers:
Ronaxenamu
2011-08-03 09:31:53 UTC
why waste your time if you guys havent even dated for long and hes already keeping you out of the loop, if i liked a girl i would make it very apparent to her cause shed be worth it, hes giving anybody the chance to be with you by ignoring you, if he cared youd see it, hear it, experience it, not be so confused, ask him if hes still in to you, youll know either by his response or lack thereof whether or not its true, however there are also liars
msnothinbutalady
2011-08-03 09:34:11 UTC
You can never be sure, but sounds like there is no real interest. Every time a guy has been interested in me, they call and text. If he goes 3 days and don't even respond to the text messages that you send him, he is not serious about you. Don't text him again, because guys get an ego like that. They also show their friends sometimes...like heh heh...yeah this girl textin me and stuff.. I have been in that boat...he was not texting because he was busy dating other girls which is usually why. It only takes a second to text back...



Don't say anything to him about texting back either...just stop texting/calling him and see what happens. Guys can sometime become more interested when you lose or seem to lose interest.



Good Luck! :)
Anonymous
2011-08-03 09:41:20 UTC
ok, when u see him again be cool don't let him no your easy, he may flirt or try to distract u from the subject, but don't get carried away. If he tries to kiss u again or stares at u really long don't fall in yet first start talking about something not romantic, but not disgusting either. make him want u so bad he can't control himself, and don't text or call him unless he calls u first cause then it looks like your needy its always better to let him chase u, where really drop dead gorgeous outfits arround him so he can't control himself after a while hes sure to be all over u, but don't let him no what your trying to do, and don't believe everything he says, if u think hes had enough then make out bigtime!:) p.s I hope this advice works 4 u-Rianna
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2011-08-03 10:13:38 UTC
Well.....I have two things I wanna tell you, and they sorta contradict themselves. So make of it what you will. The first story Im YOU, the second story...Im HIM.



First story - same as yours, only I was over the moon attracted to him and I "think" he felt the same (you can kinda tell, right). So heres my story - first date, awesome, kissing at end. Texts on his way home, big time flirty, I go to bed with butterflies in my tummy for sure!!! Up next....LONG PAUSE. Im not the kinda girl who texts a guy, I wait for him to come to me. But, he wasn't, and I was like...what in the world??? Then when I was about to give up on him (very sadly mind you), he sends an AWESOME text asking if he could make me dinner that night. I seriously thought of not responding right away, but I didn't have it in me. I waited 5 mins, wrote back, sounds nice...Ill bring the wine. We have an amazing evening, one for the highlight reel for sure. The next day, sends flowers to work. Again, I was crazy about this guy...but I was NOT crazy about the fact that he was married to his job (confirmed bc I worked there too) and the gym (I hated it and LOVED it..haha), which made his availability less than desirable. He would text me back HOURS later and say he was in a negotiation meeting (and he wasn't lying...which Im not sure if that made it better, or worse). Then...hed work 16 hours, go to the gym (God bless his sweet @$$...sorry!!), and then...could call me, exhausted, and sweetly say hed see me tomorrow. This could be happening to you - where hes just a "busy" guy - because it seems like hes interested and nothing big happened to change that right??? Unless you've given him the VERY clear indication that youre not sleeping with him until marriage or something, then I dont see why he wouldn't want to pursue the part of the relationship (the beginning) that most men enjoy the best (its us ladies who like the pizza sweatpants phase, they like the chase). That's where I WOULD be with that, if the 2nd story had not happened, which changed everything. At first I thought, hey I didn't do anything wrong, hes totally into me, the timing just isn't right...Now, I feel differently - stay tuned...



Story 2 (the quick version). I have a chance meeting with a really good looking guy, instant attraction. Hes seriously my "soul mate". I dont say that bc I believe in those, I mean it was literally ME, but a guy. It was creepy how darn similar we were. We loved the same tv shows, both went to law school, hated the same foods, we darn near dressed the same - two peas in a pod. It goes without saying that there would be a connection there. It starts out hot and heavy (not sex, but conversation, meeting up, etc). Weirdest relationship of my life, on our 2nd "date", I helped him study for the Bar, in his bed, in sweats, drinking coffee, we met at his place at like 4am - neither of us intended on anything sexual, and we really just hit the books all day long. I felt like I had known him a million years and we had just met. I thought there might really be something here. We would text ALL night long, like where you fall asleep with your phone in your hand and halfa message on the screen. As soon as my phone would JING, Id respond, same with him. This shows that were important to each other. AND it shows that no matter how busy you are...if you WANT to make time for someone, then you DO, period. That was the first thing that changed my thought process. I mean, even in relationship 1, I was always able to respond, he wasn't and yet we were equally busy - that's a big sign I didn't see at first. Heres the 2nd thing I learned...nothing big has to happen for it to be over. One day I get a text from this guy and I just wasn't excited about it any more. I didn't even reply (rude, I know), this started happening all the time. Hed ask me out or say hi, or say, just checkin in, you ok - all sweet stuff - and I wouldn't even reply. If I would, short answers like "k". It was just gone, no explanation. Nothing "happened", I was just over it. This is also what coulda happened in your case. I didn't know this was an option bc it had never happened to ME before...but looking back, it absolutely coulda happened to guy number 1. I guess things just work out like that sometimes. My advice (and I dated quite a bit before marriage), DONT EVER let a guy think youre THAT interested - dont show em your cards early on. Make em work for it...bc then they actually DO. They will treat you how you allow them to treat you. Guy #1 knew I was in his backpocket - if I had played it cool, we mighta really been something.



Bottom line, let them come to you (always!)...and if they dont...well there it is....
2011-08-03 09:32:05 UTC
Don't go jumping to conclusions. Anything could have happened, like his phone broke or something.



Try to meet him in person
2011-08-03 09:27:52 UTC
I think there still is interest, but it needs a bit of time. Patience is everything.
2011-08-03 09:29:28 UTC
give it some time!


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