This is an extremely long post *warning* Anyways There's this girl, we'll call her Carmen, who I think is special. I am a confident guy, not really insecure, I CAN talk to girls effectively and have many girl friends, but what makes Carmen special is that I just lose all of that. Yup. She is also the first girl to make me feel this way (Like queasy stomach, heart beats faster). Contrary to most guys going after the girl, I'm not physically attracted to her. Seriously. I don't want to have sex with her at all. I have that feeling or want to just be with her. I try hyping myself up to talk to her and just can't but I can talk to any random girl (Who's better looking then Carmen) and build rapport and can get her number easily. (Not Carmen's ).Anyways, I ended up asking her out on Valentines Day (We both are seniors in high school). This is how it went down. I bought (6) roses the night before. Nothing too much or too little (Or am I wrong there?). She is in Student council and they have morning meetings everyday (Though they are meaningless, they just sit around and talk the whole time). So I go up and have someone from the inside (One of her friends) tell her she has a special visitor outside. She comes out, I look her in the eyes and smile and say hi. She smiles and says Hey, What's up? I tell her "I was thinking about you and wanted to say Happy Valentines day" she giggles and smiles and says "Thanks". Then I said, "listen, I know we don't really talk but I really wanted to get to know you. So, I was wondering if I can take you out sometime." Her response was "Well, I'm not looking for a relationship right now and I have a lot of homework tonight but we could some other time." I said "Ok, Yea it's not a problem." She says "Awwww thank you so much" she hugs me, I hug her back. I smile and say "Yea no problem" she smiles and says "ok, bye". I tell her "See you in bio." and yea thats how it went. I definitely know I played it cool.So anyways I see her in bio. We had a lab that day in which we dissect a sheep's heart (Ironic am I right? haha) and we got to choose are group. So I went to one station and she joined the same one (Obviously this means nothing like this doesn't automatically mean she likes me) and we just did the lab. I shrugged off her rejection and I showed it even more in this lab. While the lab I didn't show any signs of sadness or depression. So yea that's how my Valentines day went. On Friday, (We also have English together. We only have two classes together) I came late to English class. And we sit in opposite sides of the class, (she sits with her friends, like her girlfriends) and as I sat down I notice that most of them tried to get a quick glance at me. It was kinda obvious they were looking at me because of what had happened on Thursday. Anyways the weekend comes and its Monday. Its a normal Monday nothing noticeable and same on Tuesday. On Wednesday during lunch she walked by where i spend lunch. I was wearing sunglasses and was talking to a couple of guys. (We go to an outdoor school). And yea she walked by glanced at my group, then the direction she was heading and then back at me and only me. She did all this with a neutral expression neither smiling nor frowning. (Why? Its not because she didnt knew who I was right there. Its either she was looking at me either to see if i was looking at her or it could have been for something else. But she for sure noticed me. But like i say i act cool and collected around her, i also stopped showing interest in her like i stopped looking at her from across the room etc. i hardly talked to her before so I continued that) also her friends seem to be a little more friendlier toward me. Like two of them are starting to say hi to me and another one started like joking with me/teasing me. But BARELY like it is noticeable but its not obvious so I could be mistaking their friendliness. Like they don't start talking to me I only notice this when I talk to them. And thats all thats happened since valentines day. I am over thinking all of this.Shes special in my opinion, so that's why i over think. I really want to forget her because I doubt she'll reciprocate the feelings I have for her, but is there a chance she may start developing feelings for me? Like even the slightest? What do all these signs mean? Should I keep going anyways? I hate this dating thing seriously. Its like you either win or lose. Win, you feel amazing. Lose, you feel like ****. She posted a pic on instagram (she doesn't follow me back) of herself (a selfie) and I swear every time i just get depressed knowing what I could've had ya know? Deep down inside im depressed but I never show it on the outside. Anyways, Thanks for reading too i know its long but I wanted you to have a clear idea of my situation.