Question:
How to move on after rejection?
Nine
2013-02-28 19:16:18 UTC
This is an extremely long post *warning* Anyways There's this girl, we'll call her Carmen, who I think is special. I am a confident guy, not really insecure, I CAN talk to girls effectively and have many girl friends, but what makes Carmen special is that I just lose all of that. Yup. She is also the first girl to make me feel this way (Like queasy stomach, heart beats faster). Contrary to most guys going after the girl, I'm not physically attracted to her. Seriously. I don't want to have sex with her at all. I have that feeling or want to just be with her. I try hyping myself up to talk to her and just can't but I can talk to any random girl (Who's better looking then Carmen) and build rapport and can get her number easily. (Not Carmen's ).Anyways, I ended up asking her out on Valentines Day (We both are seniors in high school). This is how it went down. I bought (6) roses the night before. Nothing too much or too little (Or am I wrong there?). She is in Student council and they have morning meetings everyday (Though they are meaningless, they just sit around and talk the whole time). So I go up and have someone from the inside (One of her friends) tell her she has a special visitor outside. She comes out, I look her in the eyes and smile and say hi. She smiles and says Hey, What's up? I tell her "I was thinking about you and wanted to say Happy Valentines day" she giggles and smiles and says "Thanks". Then I said, "listen, I know we don't really talk but I really wanted to get to know you. So, I was wondering if I can take you out sometime." Her response was "Well, I'm not looking for a relationship right now and I have a lot of homework tonight but we could some other time." I said "Ok, Yea it's not a problem." She says "Awwww thank you so much" she hugs me, I hug her back. I smile and say "Yea no problem" she smiles and says "ok, bye". I tell her "See you in bio." and yea thats how it went. I definitely know I played it cool.So anyways I see her in bio. We had a lab that day in which we dissect a sheep's heart (Ironic am I right? haha) and we got to choose are group. So I went to one station and she joined the same one (Obviously this means nothing like this doesn't automatically mean she likes me) and we just did the lab. I shrugged off her rejection and I showed it even more in this lab. While the lab I didn't show any signs of sadness or depression. So yea that's how my Valentines day went. On Friday, (We also have English together. We only have two classes together) I came late to English class. And we sit in opposite sides of the class, (she sits with her friends, like her girlfriends) and as I sat down I notice that most of them tried to get a quick glance at me. It was kinda obvious they were looking at me because of what had happened on Thursday. Anyways the weekend comes and its Monday. Its a normal Monday nothing noticeable and same on Tuesday. On Wednesday during lunch she walked by where i spend lunch. I was wearing sunglasses and was talking to a couple of guys. (We go to an outdoor school). And yea she walked by glanced at my group, then the direction she was heading and then back at me and only me. She did all this with a neutral expression neither smiling nor frowning. (Why? Its not because she didnt knew who I was right there. Its either she was looking at me either to see if i was looking at her or it could have been for something else. But she for sure noticed me. But like i say i act cool and collected around her, i also stopped showing interest in her like i stopped looking at her from across the room etc. i hardly talked to her before so I continued that) also her friends seem to be a little more friendlier toward me. Like two of them are starting to say hi to me and another one started like joking with me/teasing me. But BARELY like it is noticeable but its not obvious so I could be mistaking their friendliness. Like they don't start talking to me I only notice this when I talk to them. And thats all thats happened since valentines day. I am over thinking all of this.Shes special in my opinion, so that's why i over think. I really want to forget her because I doubt she'll reciprocate the feelings I have for her, but is there a chance she may start developing feelings for me? Like even the slightest? What do all these signs mean? Should I keep going anyways? I hate this dating thing seriously. Its like you either win or lose. Win, you feel amazing. Lose, you feel like ****. She posted a pic on instagram (she doesn't follow me back) of herself (a selfie) and I swear every time i just get depressed knowing what I could've had ya know? Deep down inside im depressed but I never show it on the outside. Anyways, Thanks for reading too i know its long but I wanted you to have a clear idea of my situation.
Eight answers:
FlyFallCrash
2013-02-28 19:29:21 UTC
First of all boy please! In a few months or weeks from now she'll look back at you the same way you look at her selfies and think about what she could've had. (Who takes selfies anyway?)



Anyway, yes the dating rejction thing sucks but you know what? You had balls. You confessed and although she rejected you, you have nothing more to hide. You'll get over her, I don't care how special you think she is because you will one day. You're young, keep yourself busy, meet new people, get a job, do volunteer work. Keep yourself busy to get her off your mind.



Even if she does develop feelings, it won't do your ego much good to hold onto that and keep making advances.



By the way, I spent my Valentine's Day watching the guy i've liked for two years give a bouquet of roses to another girl and tell her he really likes her. Every single word that I rehearsed for him so well, was recited by him to another girl right in front of me. A lot of people have crappy V Days.
rebecca
2013-02-28 19:26:51 UTC
Little girls do show interest when a guy shows interest, not because they want you but because that's their way of keeping their options open. You sound like a nice guy, you're a senior in high school so wait until college and you'll find someone up to par and in sync with you.



You are over thinking, and the stress isn't worth it. Enjoy your last couple months in childhood without a headache lol
theodoropoulo
2016-08-10 11:29:08 UTC
What has labored for me previously was to maintain far away with a purpose to regain my bearings. It allows for you to get a reference factor faraway from her influence which you'll be able to in no way do when you attempt to "stay acquaintances". It does contain a variety of self discipline, probably even being cold to her, and it mainly means throwing yourself into another pastime, equivalent to schoolwork. In the longer term you'll appear back and appreciate it was the quality move as a approach to move on with your existence and it, very mainly, opens new doorways that you do not need discovered.
Ron
2013-02-28 19:24:02 UTC
Sorry,I just skimmed your post. Basicly just try to find another girl and ask Jesus to help you get over her.I met a girl at my Church who I fell for and after months of emailing told her I was interested in her an said she had a boyfriend.I had to back off and respect her,her boyfriend. I'm getting over her and you can do the same.Its not easy,just keep busy and meet other girls. Jesus loves ya,may He Bless, speak to you,meet the needs,give good Chrisitans,in Jesus Mighty Name amen, Shalom

CBN.com ACLJ.org Persecution.org
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2016-04-27 22:10:45 UTC
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2017-02-15 09:46:51 UTC
1
TAylor
2013-02-28 19:23:50 UTC
If she comes back to you she's yours
43
2013-02-28 19:18:10 UTC
ttoooooo long


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