This is long but i'm REALLY UPSET like CRYING so please i beg of you to help me!?

Question

My boyfriend and I went on a vacation valentine’s day until today. I just recently got home. I am a very fun person who likes to have a GOOD TIME! I love water parks and my boyfriend decided since its winter to bring me to an indoor one. Well we got a suite at this place about 4 hours away. We ended up bringing my boyfriend, his brother, his brother’s friend, his younger brother, his younger brother’s friend and his younger sister. I didn’t have a problem with it considering we had our own “room” within the suite. Any who…we got there and all of a sudden these two other guys showed up. They were best friends with my boyfriend and lived in Ohio where my boyfriend used to live. When we first planned this trip 6 months ago it was supposed to be JUST US! Well we went to the water park and at first he was all about me. I enjoyed myself. He rode the tubes with me went on the slides with me was all cuddly and just perfect… then all of a sudden he made me ride some of the water rides by myself which I didn’t mind...much and was playing basketball for like 3 hours. I kept asking him if we could do something else and he told me that his friends wanted to play basketball. After that we went to this disgusting place to eat. I hate chicken but because his “friends” from Ohio wanted to have chicken it was where we went. I asked if the rest of them could go and him and I could have a nice romantic dinner instead just the two of us. He insisted we go get “bbq chicken from some bar.” I had a few drinks shot some pool and ate I’d say about 3 pieces of chicken AT THAT and to top it off I had to PAY FOR MY BEER! HE AND I ended up sleeping on the FLOOR because there weren’t enough beds. I was SO UPSET!! AND aside from that he took the sleeping bad and made me take a blanket from one of the beds and use it as a sleeping bag. I was FREEZING the whole night! AND REALLY UPSET THAT he let his friends stay with us CONSIDERING they lived only a half an hour away. Well the next day we were going to go to the water park but my boyfriend refused. We got there and he left me there by myself! I ended up having to ride water rides with a 16 year old mind you I’m 23!!! I called him NUMEROUS times to see where he was and he told me his was with the guys in the weight room. I went there and told him we needed to talk ALONE! Well we walked around for a little bit grabbed some pizza and then that was that. He THEN admitted to me that his MOTHER was paying for this vacation and it really wasn’t HIM who was paying for me it was a gift from his MOTHER because he got into Med. School! I was shocked and a little insulted. He then told me that he was sorry and hoped I wouldn’t get upset but he hadn’t gotten me anything for valentines day…”This was supposed to be the “gift” for me” but apparently he didn’t get anything for me. Later that night I saw him texting this girl. He was constantly texting her and I asked him who she was. He told me she was just a friend he met about a week ago through another friend. I found his phone and read his messages it seemed like harmless talking. I asked him if he had feelings for her and he said “yes” but it’s nothing more then feelings. I couldn’t understand what that meant and throughout the car ride home today I wouldn’t speak to him. We were supposed to see each other tonight but INSTEAD he made plans with this guy he’s friends with and hasn’t talked to me since and this was about 3 hours ago! Tomorrow he is having a poker game and asked me if I could “stay home” because it’s just for the guys. Would you dump someone if they treated you this way? WHAT SHOULD I DO?? I’M SO UPSET!!! I don’t know what to think! This was supposed to be romantic and great vacation….what should I do??

Answer 1

Oh hun, I'm so sorry, I totally understand how you are feeling. I don't know your boyfriend or the way he was before this thing, but to me it sounds like if he wanted you to break up with him cuz he hasnt got enough balls to do it. I would dump him, totally, he seems like he is cheating on you, but before doing that, talk to him and tell him how you feel, lets see if he cares and how he reacts... Good luck hun, and remember you are very special and those tears arent worth it.

Answer 2

It sounds like you really got your hopes up for this vacation, and when things didn't go the way you had planned, you got upset quick. I'm not blaming you, really, just trying to put things in perspective. Perhaps I would have been upset, too. However, I wonder if the arguing or fighting between you could have led up to what seems to be happening now. Now it seems like he may have found another girl.



It also could be that he's not mature enough for a real relationship, and this is his way of skipping out on the current one and starting another one with someone else. He sure doesn't seem to be considering your feelings very much.



At any rate, whether your anger has anything to do with this or not, he is not taking it seriously, and doesn't seem to have much respect, as he should have if he wanted a relationship in the first place. Some of us guys have a problem with that, some more than others. I'm sorry to hear about it.



I think you should stay strong and remember that you are worth a person who will treat you with respect and want to be 'at one' with you. Remember....to have your own respect is to act dignified. In other words, respect yourself. Don't lay down or back off from what you believe.

Answer 3

OH HELL NO!!!!!! WTF!!!!!???? absolutely unacceptable!...this was supposed to b a wkend for u and his bro, sis and company...not the rest of the entourage and crew...i think he was very disrepectful towards u, and should have at least asked u if it were ok for them to visit (notice i said visit not spend the night)...furthermore...is he dating them or u???...his first responsibility is to make sure that U r ok...and u should not be on the floor...i wud have been sooooooooo pissed at his lack of consideration....that was not right of him to treat u that way and if the tables were turned i bet u could not have done the same...sounds to me like he's got some growing up to do as well if he's putting his friends before the one he loves...u have every right to feel the way u do...i can't believe he even came out and said he has feelings for some other girl...how ever existent or nonexistent those feelings r, this is one of many red flags...trust ur instincts...if u need to take a break from him temporarily or permanently then do so...only u can decide what u r willing to put up with...take some time to think about this after u have calmed down so that u can make a rational decision...WOW...i still can't believe him...i wud definitely bring it to his attention though, sooner rather than later....feel better...i wish u much luck on what ever u decide...

Answer 4

It's hard when you have feelings for someone and they are not returned. I can't tell you what to do or even suggest because you already know what to do. You just want to hear it from someone else. Here's the trick though, that someone else won't be there when you're balling you're eyes out alone. The guy obviously didn't care enough about you to get you something on V-day when he knew it was important to you and has been ignoring you every since. Ask yourself what you would tell someone else if you had just read what you'd written and go from there. Life isn't fair but you must make yourself happy in the end and the only way to do that is have respect for yourself and demand it from others.

Answer 5

I think he already feels bad about the situations and is embarrassed to tell you. His friends should of taken the floor because the room was rented for you. You should tell his friends yourslef the next time that one bed is for you and your b/f because you guys rented the room. As for the girl, I would be a bit concerned too. His friends sound like trouble makers and just want him to have fun. Get him alone and have a heart to heart talk and tell him all the things that upset you and ask him how he feels and tell him how it wasn't right with the bed thing and out of respect the friends should of taken the floor. It sounds like he is confused about having private time with you and private time with his friends. If he promisses the next time it will not happen and you tell him if he doesn't have the nerve that you will and keep it lite in a humourous way people will understand. Tell him you need a weekend alone with him and u understand the friends will be there sometimes but you are ok with it as long as you also have private time. Also tell him that if this behaviour continues you will find someone who really cares he will straighten out and if he doesn't say see ya wouldn't want to be ya, I hope this helps take care Heather

Answer 6

what a jerk. here's the hard truth girl, from someone who has been there: not only does he have feelings for this girl, but he's probably already cheating with her AND he doesn't have the guts to break up with you so he invited his friends as a buffer and to play interference. the fact that he didn't get you a gift, didn't fund the trip the two of you had planned, spent more time with his friends than with you AND made you sleep on the floor tells me this guy is a knuckle dragging idiot. dry you tears, cut him loose, and invest your time and energy into yourself, your friends and family, and eventually a guy who will treat you like a lady. that's exactly what i did, and i'm happy to say that not only did i get roses for valentine's day, but i got a card, an email, and a text from my boyfriend telling me that i'm the most important person in his life. if a guy who is deployed half way around the world can do that, a guy sitting right next to you can reach much higher heights.

Answer 7

I am sorry hun, but it sounds like he doesn't want to be with you anymore. You need to take some space and think about what you want in that relationship, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should he be having feelings for another girl while he is with you. Does she know that you exist. This was a blantly crappy move on his part for your valentines day. He should have let you sleep next to him under the same blanket, it sounds honestly like he is trying to distance himself from you and upset you into breaking up with him. He can't do it himself and he wants to step up and do it. talk to him and lay it on the line, tell him that you are upset and that you need and deserve to be treated better. Tell him point blank that if he doesn't start treating you better and showing you the respect that you deserve then you are over, because hun there are guys out there that will show you the world and treat you like a queen and none of the stuff that you explained would happen.

Answer 8

This was never going to be a "romantic trip". His mom got him the trip and sent him off w a pack load of kids and you just got stuck in so he could pretend he got you something. I cant see how any trip w that many people could end up romantic. Anyhow he passed off his mothers gift to him and apparently all her other children as a gift for you and then didnt even bother to get you a card or something? He was more interested in hanging out w his friends than you, still is it seems and now has a new girl he admits to being interested in? I think it is clear this relationship is near the end.

Answer 9

Before you even mentioned this other girl, I was thinking to myself "get rid of him".



He seems completely insensitive and uncaring to me. You deserve to be with someone who puts you first. If he wants to see his friends, he should have planned a separate trip to see them. He at least should have asked you if you minded them hanging out, and then listened to your response. Obviously, he doesnt care about this relationship as much as you do.



There are too many great guys out there for you to be wasting your time. How long have you been together? If this is how he treats you now, its only going to get worse.



And he's texting some other girl he has feelings about?

You know what you need to do. Yeah, it will hurt for awhile, but the longer you invest in this one-sided relationship, the more it will hurt when he finally dumps you for text-girl, or someone else.

Answer 10

We should have girl's night out- my husband got me nothing and went out with the guys and hit 4 strip clubs! I would say that if he was texting another girl on your trip together that that's a bad sign. And the fact that he admitted to you that he had feelings for her...even though he is not acting on those feelings, he probably will sooner or later. Maybe you can't come to poker night because she will be there. You're only 23...he isn't the ONLY one out there. Don't settle. Break it off w/ him before he breaks your heart even more than he already has. Good luck!

Answer 11

how long have you two been going out?

Im appauled he didnt get you anything for valentines day .... i could understand if he couldnt afford it but if hes going to medical school than im doubting that he has issues with gifts. If he was my boyfriend i would definalty be upset. i know this sounds harsh but give him an ultimatum, its either you or his guy friends. About this other girl, if there seems to be nothing suspcios about the conversation than its probably fine. Yet if this was all happening on valentines day than i thinkits time to move on. Just try getting all of the facts striaght!

Answer 12

I can certainly see where you would be upset, but it may help to remember that a lot of guys are not that romantic and sensitive and don't realize how important that is to a girl. I don't think it was deliberate really..he just got distracted with his friends..



I could see forgiving if you tell him how you feel, ask him to be more sensitive next time and he agrees and he asks forgiveness if after weighing it out you decide you really love him and the good outweighs the bad by at least 2/3rd (we can rarely get our perfect man). Only you know how deep your feelings run and if you feel you can live with or without him (of course it will hurt to leave but if the baklance is off for you, you need to leave to spare yourself additional pian. If you feel you can get over it and see improvement, you may want to stay.



He was quite qawful to make YOU sleep on the floor and inviting his friends to stay should have been discussed with you and only if ou were cool with it should he then have invited then and they definitely sound like jerks to make you sleep on the floor.



It almost seems like it was planned then showig up, ruining your getaway, and sleeping on the floor to upset you knowing that valentine's day is very special to women. Like they talked this out in advance and picked that day to make you break up cause he was too chicken and is involved with the other girl. I didn't think this at first but after rereading (and those people who answered and didn't read it all were so rude btw) I am starting to think maybe it was deliberate and Hawaiisweetie may be unto sometime.



However, the girl is a problem. I doubt he just met her..it has probably been going on a while. Did you notice any chances in him in the past several months or a cooling of relationship or him being busy a lot? I think that may warrant leaving him..or at least trying to figure out if anything is going on. A lot of men do lie and cheat and if he is, you deserve better. Leave while you are still young and before he hrts you further.



He is very insensitive and if he is going to be a doctor, he will have very little time for you in the future and even after school, so it is really important that you ask yourself if this is the life you want. (should you marry). I was married to a workaholic for 14 years and it was living he__l.



I think you need to ask him to make it up to you by planning something romantic even if it doesn't cost that much and being creative..if you decide to stay and maybe some time apart would be good..



Whatever you do if you want him back don't be clingy..be aloof and do not let him know what you are thinking. If you want him back, maybe do something to trick him into thinking you may be seeing someone else..draw back a little as this is the only thing that may draw him back if he has any feelings.



I did this when I was around your age.after he broke up with me, I went with a cute guy to a party I need he'd be at and was kind of flirty with the guy (poor guy I guess I used him) in my BF who just said he'd like to see others and within a week my ex-husband proposed marriage. (Guess he wanted to seee others but not for me too lol) Unfortunately, I accepted.



Good luck and try to do something fun to get your mind off it and journal. Do good things for yourself. Sometimes when you break up, it is hard but later you see the wisdom in it. I'm sorry your valentine's trip did not go as you hoped. Sometimes those special days don't unfortunately.

Answer 13

u know what i would do. call him (act as if nothing is wrong) and ask him if he would like to go sumwhere nice (u pick) and tell him to meet u there. if he says no, then emidiatly ask for a different time or date, and see if can do it then. once he finally accepts a time, u can just hang up on him. then meet him wherever u decided to meet. then i would tell him this whole story (dont let him interupt!!!) tell him how he has been an assswhole and how he has been acting like a jerk this whole time. and tell him how he doesnt really care about u. and then dump him. forget about him!!! he treated u like shiit. all he deserves is that one talk about how he had been a freak... and then u dump him (dont let it b the other way around!!) and tell him that any1 who treats their girl like that is never going to end up with sum1!!! omg i hope u feel better!!!!!

Answer 14

Well, it's so hard to determine what you should do without knowing him. He sounds insensative and if he has feelings for this other girl that's not good. From what I read, it does sound like you should break up with him. I know breaking up is hard but once you get over him and are able to find a nice guy you'll be so thankful you did. Good luck. I'd be mad as all hell too if I had a vacation like that.

Answer 15

Girl this sounds MESSED UP! You need to cancel his subscription to you IMMEDIATELY! He obviously would rather "date" his friends than you. He should have been straight up with you about how this trip was coming through and about all the extra children coming along. If he cared anything about your feelings he would've told his friends he was trying to make valentine's day for you! Guys are so inconsiderate sometimes! Grab your girlfriends and go to Vegas for the weekend and give your man something to worry about.

Answer 16

Show him what you wrote and tell him how you feel. He should make some time for you and def. make up for Valentines day. I know it might be upsetting to confront him, but you need to let him know how you feel instead of bottleing it up, that'll make it worse. If he doesn't start shaping up, then move on to someone who will treat you nicer. That was a really crappy situation he put you in.

Answer 17

No one deserves to be neglected, lied to, and dragged around like a mop.. i'm not in your shoes but i've been in some crapy relationships myself, i held out til he dumped me and its left me hallow.. so if i were in you situation i' d dump him before he really does damage, but if you don't feel its that bad then watch yourself and don't feel bad bout second guessing, it's natural and a womans intuition is a powerful thing lol, good luck and i hope i helped and everything works out for you and him...

Answer 18

I say get over it and move on if he keeps acting like that towards u then find someone else forget about him... he obviously like some other chick and laid it out there to u so be careful cuz it sounds like he is distancing himself from u to break up.

Answer 19

Um Hell Yes you need to dump his as*.....he is a selfish jerk and he is more concerned with how he feels then how you feel and that shows!! You need to be just as important as he is in a relationship. Just imagine what it is going to be like in 5,10,15 years if you stay with this guy. There are so many red flags in your post......run honey and don't look back.

Answer 20

Yes I would dump him. This guy doesn't care enough to tell you the truth about a simple situation what makes you think he's concerned enough to tell the truth on big things. He is not worth your time.

Answer 21

Boo-hoo.... so your little v-day trip was ruined. Just dump the guy if he has feelings for another girl... feelings lead to more and more trouble for you guys... trust me. He obviously cares about his friends more than you... and you're not supposed to like someone else while you're already in a relationship...it's just not right. Just dump him.. he's not worth it...

Answer 22

If you really want to get back at him and get this straight - IGNORE HIM. Make it look like you dont really need him. Dont show him that you are desperate. Guys get attracted to women that are harder to catch. If you go behind him, he would obviously think you are an easy catch. Just IGNORE him gal and dont get melted easily. you can do it!

Answer 23

This guy dosn't seem to interested but also remember when a guy is with his buds he always acts different then when with just you but he also needs to make time for just you and him sit him down and tell him that. This other girl don't sound to good either, you might need to look into that more. All and all this guy don't sound very worthy or loyal to you but idk

Answer 24

Chill out away from eachother for a week or two. It sounds like you both need it. That would be good for your relationship.

Answer 25

unfortunately, it sounds like he isn't really wanting a relationship right now. as much as it hurts, you should take some time for yourself and spend it with YOUR friends. then after a week or so, see where things are at.

Answer 26

I think he wants to break up with you but doesn't know how. He probably thinks that by being a jerk towards you, that you would get mad and do the breaking up instead.

Answer 27

I'm sorry, but unfortunately this guy doesn't care too much about you. :-( You don't deserve this kind of treatment and yes, you should dump him. You can definitely find better than that.

Answer 28

Do nothing, towards him.

Do not call him. The hand writing is on the wall.

Restart your social life.

Answer 29

if i were you, i would dump him. if he really loved you, he woulda had a romantic valentines days with u, but instead he spent his v-day with his frends. and hes text messaging another girl who he says he has feelings for. :| :| i would dump him if i were you, but you can do whatever your heart tells u to do.

Answer 30

sounds to me hes an *** im mean ditching u texting other girls he got feelings for then excluding u i would dump no questions asked he dont deserve u

Answer 31

Dump him he is trying to avoid you.lol

Answer 32

do you really think people will read that? but from what everyone else wrote.....dump him?

Answer 33

i dont normally answer seriously but i will for you. no-one should treat their gf like that he sounds very selfish you should leave him it will be hard but it will be so good for you. You really will benefit, even if you really love him, he is taking u for granted. sorry huni

Answer 34

Dump him, and get someone who treats you right. You deserve better. And *big Hug*

Answer 35

Sweat heart he is either cheeting on you are does not have the balls to break up with you. You need to end it!

Answer 36

DITCH HIM! Obviously his own needs are more important than you. He will cause you nothing but greif in time.

Answer 37

if he didn't get you anything --- dump him... sounds like a real jerk.

Answer 38

Dump him fast. then sleep with his worst enemy and let everyone know you did. Screw this jerk.

Answer 39

defiently dump him. he's thinking ur a toy or something. like u hav no feelings. if u dump him and he begs u to come back u should say WHY? u treated me like trash. and if he says giv me one more chance let him hav it and i hope it works out then!

Answer 40

Separate from him for a while. Even a week or so. Then talk.

Answer 41

Do you actually expect me to read all of that? From what I saw you should just break up with him.

Answer 42

You know what you have to do lassie....burn down the house!

Answer 43

You're an idiot. You should get yerself smarter.

Answer 44

forget it im not smart enough to know how to read that..