Girls, would you date this guy with this kind of baggage?

Question

I'm currently talking to this guy and it seems to be going fine. However, the issue is his ex. She still loves him but he broke up with her saying his feelings changed. They are best friends so she is constantly in his life and they talk every night. I finally met up with her and she seemed like a likable and kind girl in the beginning but when I asked her how she felt about me and her ex dating, she had this utter look of hatred on her face.

She point blank told me, (and this is a summary) "I might as well be honest with you, I still love him and you aren't dating him sweetie, you're only TALKING. He isn't interested in being in a relationship right now and he wants to be single for a while so don't expect him asking you out officially any time soon! Oh and for the record, I am his best friend and I am constantly in his life and he wants me there! If you want to stay around you have to get along with me and if we don't, he will drop you where you are, whether he has feelings for me or not! And by the way, I'm not just his best friend, we are friends with benefits so yes we still have sex so if you think you can pull that card you have another thing coming! He texts me and reserves and special time every night to talk to me and if time with you interferes, he will leave you first! I am in his life and he wants me here. I'll leave if he asks me but I dare you to tell him to ask me, it will just have the opposite effect and he will dump you instead. I'm not going anywhere and you have to deal with it. Now sweetie, are you willing to deal with me? Is he really worth it to go through all this trouble?"

Well, you know I was shocked when she said this but I did ask him a couple questions about some of the things she said and well it turns out she was telling the truth! He wants her in his life and does not want to let her go despite him saying he doesn't love her that way and he admitted that they do sleep together occasionally. He said he was in a relationship with her for a long time so he wants to stay single for a while. He also said that any future girlfriend he has MUST get along with his ex.

He's a great guy! He's practically perfect, he's funny, smart, sweet. nice...but the ex baggage...what do you all think?

Answer 1

Dump him now, before anyone else is added to the mix!

He's probably checking his options, and ensuring that you're a better candidate than his current BFWBF (best friend with benefits forever).



In other words, he wants to sleep around (BAD IDEA), and have no commitment to you or to anyone (BAD IDEA), and he has an ex, whom he has not set clear boundaries with (OH SO BAD IDEA), who is clearly not over him (BAD IDEA), all so he can pick which one he likes best, after you claw each other's throats out (Did I mention...?)



He is on an ego trip, and he's hoping to catch an in-fight movie, aka CATFIGHT II: Ms. Static and You.



My end advice: Befriend Ms. Static. Suggest threesome dates, and start cutting him out of the picture. See other men, and set Ms. Static up. She is not in a healthy relationship with him, and knowing his kind, he probably wants it that way. Please save her from herself, and him.

Answer 2

NO. My bf and I broke up for a while and I was his best friend. I was also his longest relationship. He did have a short relationship with a friend of mine once when we were taking a break from each other (I needed some time alone for personal issues). And yes him and I became FWB's and He was still in love with me. (because I was the one who ended it.) I warned her that we were doing this and she was his rebound. She only got hurt. I tried to tell her. They don't talk anymore and fight when they do and him and I are dating again. Don't do this unless you want to get hurt. Find someone who will want to get in a relationship for the right reasons.

Answer 3

Sounds like you'd get hurt if you pursue this. Too bad, but it's just a little too messy for my liking anyways.