Am I being jealous? Or does she need to tone down her behavior?

Question

My girlfriend accuses me of being jealous and she complains about having to deal with me- a jealous boyfriend.
Some of the instances I will list below are instances in which I have reservations about. She sees them as me being jealous.
First off, she sees her ex-husband on a regular basis. About once a month, my girlfriend will get together with her ex-husband to go out to dinner or join her nieces in a family outing such as going to the movies or going to an amusement park. They had no children together when they divorced and have been divorced for about 8 years. They both treat her nieces as if they were their kids. I can remember when my dad divorced my mother he would come by about once a month for visitations, but my mother never joined us. So here is my girlfriend, with no children, going to see her ex-husband with her nieces. So they call it a "family outing," eventhough her nieces are no longer part of his family and he is no longer their uncle in any legal sense of the word.
For several months into our relationship, she refused to tell him that she was seeing me. Then after some pressure from me, she finally admitted to him on out of their "dates" that she is dating. He said he is dating too. And that was the end of the discussion. Dating could be a few dates with individual people. She failed to communicate to her ex that she was in a relationship with me. When I asked her about that she said that she is afraid that might "hurt his feelings." It is also the reason why I am not invited to any family outings that her ex-husband attends. There is also some unwritten law between my girlfriend and her nieces that I am not to be discussed when they go out with him.
My mother thinks that my girlfriend may have something to hide. She suspects that my girlfriend may owe her ex-husband something. Perhaps they bought a house together that has not been paid for. Perhaps her ex-husband is helping to put the oldest niece through college or help pay for the private school that her younger niece is attending. Her brother and sister in law do not work and are living off of disability payments.
Secondly, my girlfriend is a beer seller in a baseball park. Part of her spiel of selling beer and competing with the other beer servers for tips is that she flirts with the men customers. She entices the men customers into repeat business by making jokes about being a prostitute, mentions a bogus website of a house of prostitution, and openly flirts with a married male co-worker who also jokes about my girlfriend being a whore.
For her going out with her ex-husband, I am okay with that. I just don't like the idea that he doesn't know that I exist. By telling him that she is merely dating, that could be several failed dates with several different men. She really needs to tell him that she is seeing someone, that being me. By saying that she has been dating since there divorce isn't enough and he could think that all the times he is seeing her are leading toward winning her back, as she is the one who left him in the divorce.
Then with the whoring beer server, its a bad idea that could wind up costing her the job. A baseball park is a family event. Children go to baseball games. Eventhough she is serving alcohol, it is not a strip joint in which no children are allowed. I have been to a couple of games this year and it is common for men and women to bring their some children with them while mom and dad buy a beer. Eventhough she might not be doing her usual "I have a whorehouse" routine with a father pushing a toddler in a carriage, the guy with small kids can hear that if he is in the next line.
There is such a thing as protecting children against obscene language. Jokes about being a prostitute, being a madam of a whorehouse, and rubbing against a male beer server in a sexual way are not things that children should see and hear. In some ways, it's kind of like acting like a sex offender and her home is about a stone's throw away from a school.
I can see a mother in line with her kids to buy a beer and if my girlfriend is joking about being a prostitute to a guy next to her or in front of her, she might take offense to it and not want her children hearing that. In many ways it is as bad as her serving beer topless. I really think she should "tone it down when kids are around." Its a baseball park, not a strip joint.
Am I being jealous? Or does she need to tone down her behavior?

Answer 1

The way she behaves at work does sound somewhat inappropriate; I'm sure her ex-husband wouldn't like it very much either if they were still together.



It all sounds strange to me. I can understand if perhaps her and the ex left off on good terms and can remain platonic friends, but if that were the case why would it hurt his feelings if he knew she had happily moved on?



Either you need to confront her further about this or leave her behind until she can finally admit to others that you are now a part of her life.

Answer 2

well I wouldn't be able to take the flirting. I'm not sure why a taken lady would need a single girl's job. And I would have broken the relationship off already. She has some huge secrets with her x-husband, either the ones your mam thought of or emotional ones. I'd have left her.

Answer 3

OMG you're right, She needs to tone it down. I would be really creeped (that's not a word, is it?) out if the beer server at a family baseball game was acting like that. Truth is, by the way to describe things, she doesn't seem committed to you guy's relationship. I understand it's her job to sell beer but she doesn't need to sell it that way. I think you should really talk to her about her being committed to the relationship and that you need her to tone it down if you guys are going to be happy together.So, talk to her calmly and if she doesn't understand I would dump her. Sorry, but that's just my opinion. I really hope the talking about it helps though :/

Good luck

Answer 4

I act nicely-known. No-physique might assume that I even have unquestionably a sort of dark secret indoors me. i'm conventional to be large headed/egocentric, yet staring on the large image, i'm in directly forward words a common student. there is a few signs and indications and caution signs and indications i basically can not cover in spite of the easy actuality that, which contains stubbornness. in case you have a controversy with somebody like me, then I wont drop it, ever. I is largely now not proved incorrect, no rely if i be responsive to i'm, i bypass to save it going. i choose my friends to think of of i'm extra useful, so i will't "lose face" by utilising means of admitting im incorrect. i'm additionally a pathological liar, which means i lie plenty. I lie intentionally, many cases to create an innocuous perception of myself, or to income sympathy. even in spite of the easy actuality that, now and decrease back i lie by twist of destiny.. for no reason. And it is those lies which get me into the top worry. they're impulsive, and not theory by utilising, so subsequently very contradictory and sparkling. in case you observe somebody doing this in lots of circumstances then there's a solid threat he has AsPD/NPD or something. no rely if he's caught in a lie, he will below no circumstances admit to it, he's a lot extra probable to misinform cover it up or get indignant.

Answer 5

damn dude... tl;dr.