Question:
My ex girlfriend just wants to be bestfriends again, but there's some problems...what should I do...?
Str1pes
2008-06-30 14:28:36 UTC
ok, so me and my ex girlfriend used to be really good friends. We were best friends, and we started going out. Well, everything was wonderful. I was the happiest ive ever been, even with our bumps in the road. Every couple has them. Well, over one little problem, she dumps me at my house, 2 days before our 3 month mark. She says she just wants to be bestfriends again, she thinks we'll be happier. Well I told her, I think I can't do it. I just don't have that bestfriend feel anymore. Well, she dumps me anyways and still is trying. I don't think we ever can, now we just bicker and fuss. I can't forgive her, but she had no reason to dump me. Now, she is ignoring my texts, and says she doesn it because she "doesn't know what to say". But these are simple texts, like "Hey ya shoulda came and said hi while you were around :]". But she ignores me, all Im doing is helping out what she wanted. Yet she still says she wants to be bestfriends.... should I just ignore her and find myself time?
Nine answers:
ashh
2008-06-30 14:33:41 UTC
Go with what you feel, man. If you think that you can't be friends, then don't. I've been in a similar situation. We just ended up not talking and now were both a lot happier. I suggest you give yourself some alone time and let the ho go :).
Charlotte B
2008-06-30 14:41:04 UTC
crossing the line with a best friend can go 2 ways, you will either be very happy together and know that you were meant to be together or you will realize you were better as friends but once that line is crossed there really is no turning back, in most peoples cases anyway.

from past experience i know that it can be tempting to give it a shot at being together when you get on so well as just friends but sometimes it just doesnt work out, that person isn't the person you knew and loved as a friend anymore but someone who seems different.

i don't think things will ever be the same again for you guys, i'm sorry to say that but you both wanted your cake and now she wants to eat it too by having it back the old way when the grass didn't seem greener.

you probably see each other in a different light now.

to be honest i think if you still have strong feelings for this girl and you know you need to be with her in a romantic way then being friends is not a good idea. she will wanna see other people and that will hurt you.

give it some time, if you feel better about it later on who's to say you wont be able to share a non-romantic friendship again? but for the time being i think you need to explain you have been hurt and you feel things wont be the same as they were. who knows, some people don't know what they've got until its gone.

i hope it all works out for you. good luck
anonymous
2016-07-19 04:12:08 UTC
How do you get ex back? How do you convince that what the two of you had together was special? This is your “get ex back” guide https://tr.im/l4PaM



First of all, you have to recognize that whatever happened, you were both at fault. If you cheated, he wasn’t giving you what you needed so you looked elsewhere. If he cheated, you were the one not giving what he needed. Yes, the cheater is morally culpable for the cheating. The moral responsibility does not lie with the person who was cheated upon. But the fault lies in both party’s laps.



Given that, it is important to forgive and forget. True forgiveness means that you let go of all of the anger related to the incident. You never bring it up again. You never let it cloud your relationship. If you cannot do this, you won’t get ex back for any period of time.



If you were the person at fault, apologize – and mean it. Too many times, after people say “I’m sorry,” there’s an “Oops I did it again,” moment. You’re not Britney Spears. It’s not cute. When you say you are sorry, you have to commit to changing. Otherwise, you don’t mean it and you won’t get ex back.



Be prepared to chase him/her a little bit. This doesn’t mean sending him/her hundreds of text messages or stalking him/her, but you have got to show him/her that you are still interested if you want to get ex back. You can’t expect him/her to come running back just because you have sent out some modest signals that you are ready to re-start the relationship. Put your ego in check and put your heart on the line.



You may have to settle for something less than you wanted. It may be that he is only ready to be friends when you want a full fledged boyfriend. It may take time to rebuild the trust. If this is the case, you need to give him/her the space he needs to get to know you again. Accept that you have to take what he is offering right now if you want to eventually get guy back.



Finally, you have to know when to give up on the get guy back strategy. Sometimes, you just have to move on. If your boyfriend is unable to forgive you, you are in a position where the best thing you can do is move on and enter into new relationships. While this will break your heart right now, it may be the best thing that could have happened to you. Whatever went wrong in this relationship, your soul mate is still out there. Get ex back may stop
?
2016-04-22 03:04:33 UTC
You're only shot at getting your ex back is to follow the right steps that will make her ask you to get back together. Learn here https://tr.im/9Ppvf

Maybe if you broke up with her, then you might be able to be the one who brings up the subject of getting back together. But if you can do it without, it would be much better. But how do you get someone back without seeming desperate? In order to get your ex girlfriend attention, you have to show value without telegraphing your interest in her, while at the same time initiating interaction. So don't ignore your ex texts and calls when they break up with you. It screams that you are so devastated by the breakup that you can't even handle talking to her. You want to respond to her, but do it in the right way. You can even initiate communication if you do it in the right way. You have to maintain a strong frame of confidence, and show your ex girlfriend that your happiness isn't dependent on being with her
Finnishflash8
2008-06-30 14:35:16 UTC
Don't worry about her.. Even if you went back to being best freinds ... when either you or her gets into another relationship.. it will only complicate things again.. not only for you but the new person as well. Some things are better left behind. Don't be her enemy.. don't be her friends.. Be nuetral.
anonymous
2008-06-30 14:35:40 UTC
me and my best guy friend went out and we broke up around 3 months, just like ya'll. (i do admit i broke up with him for a silly reason) things will never go back to the way they were when yall were best friends. let me just tell you that. me and my best friend broke up 3 years ago and things still aren't as good as they were. ya'll are both just hurt and need to blow off some steam on your own time. don't rush into the whole "let's be good ole pals again and expect it to be like it was". that's gonna take awhile. ya'll both just need time. give it time.
anonymous
2008-06-30 14:32:29 UTC
FIND SOMEONE THAT CARES SOMEONE ELSE theres more fish in the sea
YGs T.L
2008-06-30 14:33:32 UTC
yes you should .. believe me I know exactly how you feel ..
B
2008-06-30 14:31:58 UTC
Theres nothing you can do :(


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
Loading...