Question:
When should I pop the question?((Important))?
Keybearer21
2011-04-24 07:01:40 UTC
Okay so I'm a sophomore in college right now (going on junior in 3 months), and for the past year I've fallen in love with a girl that goes here as well. She's everything I've always wanted in a girl and even things i didn't know i wanted. I'm not saying she's perfect but over the year I've learned to live with her flaws and we are very happy together. I've stopped talking to ex's and certain girls and she's stopped talking to her's and other boys. Our world completely revolves around each other and making each other happy. It's what I've always wanted :)

We both live in the same dorms so suffice it to say we usually sleep in the same bed together. It gives the feeling of actually being an "official" marriage without it actually being one. I guess you could call it cohabitation. I know people say that when you start to live with someone you see them in a different way. I've lived with this girl for a year just about and i can honestly say i don't find anything that really turns me off from loving her. I mean i guess i don't expect everything to reveal itself in just a year but i haven't found anything yet which to me is a good sign. Everyone(besides her parents, which ill get to later) always comments on how much of a good match we are and it feels good because I've never felt so happy or had so many people tell me that before with someone i was with.

Here's my dilemma though:I want to marry her. She wants to get married too. The only thing is I don't feel like i'm ready. And i don't mean ready as in emotionally ready, but more of financially. You see I'm currently without a job at the moment though i'm getting one during the summer once school's out as usual. I know alot of people say its best to wait till u have all of your stuff together before marriage. I was actually thinking of getting her a promise ring for her upcoming birthday instead of a engagement ring but my friend was telling me the other day that "if you know you're going to marry this girl then you should just straight get engaged."

I've been toying with the idea in my mind ever since but i guess I'm a little afraid of the backlash that i'll have with her parents as well as my own. Her parents don't generally like me, not because I'm mean or anything, but because she spends alot of time with me. Her dad always liked to keep her to himself. I guess its more of her dad than her mom, anyway, I know that this is the one girl for me, the one i want to marry, and i feel like I'm ready for commitment for life, and i want to be with her for life, its just as far as everything else goes I'm not.

So i was wondering what you guys thought. Should i wait to pop the question or not? Thanks :)
Nine answers:
2011-04-24 07:10:37 UTC
Go ahead and ask! Couples can be engaged for months, even years before they ACTUALLY get married, so that gives you a lot of time! Congrats, by the way. If it works out, I hope you guys are really happy together. :)
2011-04-24 07:08:09 UTC
Wait until you finish collage youll be in a more secure and financially better state then these days a year is not long enough to wait in my opinion. I have been my my Other half for years and have lived together for all of those we hope to get engaged once we have sorted a few things out. However our first year was very much a honey moon period, we got to know flaws but not all of them you dont in the first year, but everything is so lovely and you dont argue as much etc... so to me a year isnt enough as its not a good representation of how its going to actually be
B-Dash
2011-04-24 07:07:19 UTC
How does she feel about your financial situation? Also, there's nothing wrong with being engaged for some time. There's no hurry to actually get married. Once you pop the question, you should at least be able to agree on waiting to get married until you're both financially stable.
Serina Carlor
2011-04-24 07:10:11 UTC
just because you pop the question doesn't mean you have to get married right away... in fact a lot of people are opting for longer engagements because they have more time to plan and save money. its entirely up to you.. you can pop the question now and wait to get married after everything is situated or you can wait and see what happens... also remember that a lot of things can happen over a course of a relationship that may not have been foreseen.. challenges to over come... in my personal opinion whether engaged or not you need to wait for the marriage and see how each other handles those particular situations and how well you handle them together. good luck
2011-04-24 07:15:32 UTC
I know alot of peple are gonna tell you to pop the question, but dont. Youre gonna be inviting alot of pressure on yourself when she says yes, cause after that all you will want to do is get a job so that you can earn well so that you can get married to her quickly, you will lose focus on doing things correctly- getting your college degree. Once you get a college degree alot of your financial woes will take care of themselves as you will get a good job ( and alot easier), get her a promise ring, give yourselves time to grow with eachother a little more. then when you are financially stable or about to be in a short period of time, then pop the question.
viola is not my real name
2011-04-24 07:13:30 UTC
I think you should ask her. But obviously you two have to discuss about this once you've asked, and once she, hopefully, says yes. Then let her know that you want to wait for the marriage when you're both financially ready for this big event. It takes time, and money, and a lot of nerves to plan a wedding, so i hope you can both agree when will be the best time for it.



Best of luck! ;))
2011-04-24 07:06:34 UTC
I say you pop the question remember that just because u get engaged doesn't mean you'll be married next month you guys can get engaged and save money and then have an affordable wedding.(:
Carol
2011-04-24 07:06:36 UTC
i say pop the question now. if you want to buy a ring buy an egagement ring instead of a promsie ring. also if you can't afford it go to the jewelry store and they might have a payment plan you can do.
2011-04-24 07:03:34 UTC
dont wait(: i recently went to i minor league baseball game and a guy popped the question right there on the field(: do it somewhere thats important to her and she will remember forever


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
Loading...