There are a number of reasons why I am single, most of them are very understandable. The biggest reason is the vaguest reason why I am still single, which really covers many of if not all of the reasons why I'm not in a relationship at the present time. The key word here is "opportunity", or more specifically, lack of opportunity. Most of the time, I am busy going to school, looking for another job and spending time on the internet. On top of that, I do love to go to my favorite music shop which is very well known in the area in which I live, called "Independent Records". When I have enough gas in my car, I'll sometimes drive to Independent Records, to browse their music collection as well as their other items. The place where I'm supposed to be employed hasn't let me work a single day since the end of October. I have gone several weeks without any work, which means that I'm not making any money. So now, I'm technically unemployed and still looking for a job. I checked my schedule at work and they don't even have me scheduled for the next two weeks!
Another time related issue is that I've been going to medical school for six weeks and just a few days ago, finished my final, which means I am now done with school until January 5th, which is when I'm supposed to go back and take the next course in my curriculum. School took up a lot of my time and it's going to take up even more time when I go back. In addition to that, I'll also be getting tutored and then I'll need time to study on top of that. I'm a little behind in my education compared to my peers. I'm 21 years old and have yet to complete even one year of college, due to the fact that I've been encountering numerous setbacks and devastating challenges in my personal life, which have interfered with my ability to accomplish much of anything as far as an education is concerned. Most people have graduated college by the time they turned 21, so I'm in the process of trying to overcome my personal issues, so that I can resume my life.
One of the only two aspects of why I'm single that has nothing to do with time is the fact that I am still struggling with my personal issues that I mentioned earlier. I don't really have my sh*t together, which is why I'm not ready for a relationship yet. If I were in a relationship right now, it probably wouldn't survive, because I'm not in a stable mindset, yet. I'm still struggling with issues of self-loathing, anger directed towards people who have hurt me and many more things that have yet to be resolved. Until I can find happiness on my own, I won't be able to have it with another person. Even though I know this, I still want a relationship more than anything in this world!
The other non-time related reason is that I am Gay. Since the majority of people are straight, it's difficult for me to find another male who is also a homosexual. When it comes to relationships, I'm not very smart. I can be a very caring, loving and generous individual, but my experience with relationships is extremely limited. I'm just like anyone else my age who is single; Every night when I go to bed, I think about who that very special someone is going to be. I wonder what they will look like, what their personality will be like, how much we will have in common and so on. I wonder if I will meet him soon or if he and I are still years apart. I wonder if I will meet him here in this town or if we will meet elsewhere. But my biggest curiosity is "Do I already know him?". Sometimes it's interesting to think about someone you already know, being "the one". I ask myself those questions every night, before I go to sleep, then I think about what my perfect life would be like and just imagining it makes me feel better about being single. The hardest part about life is seeing all of the puzzle pieces come together so slowly, even though you just wish you could see the final picture right now. I find it interesting how in the past, there were many puzzle pieces that I didn't think would fit or didn't seem to go together, yet, things just come together in the strangest of ways, sometimes.