I still miss my ex after 8 months of no contact?

Question

I still miss my ex-girlfriend after six months of no contact. It wasn't my first relationship, but the first girl I loved I guess (I am 16) She was the girl who took my virginity. We were together for 7 months total, but she left me (for her first love) on the 4th month, but then came back a week later regretful. I took her back, but I messed things up. I went from being an awesome boyfriend, to a terrible one. I always brought up how she left me constantly. We argued at least 3 times a week and her mom eventually figured out how I was treating her through a text conversation, and she made us break up. She got over me, and started dated within two months. I have dated two girls since NC and I broke up with both, because they didn't even compare to her. I don't sit around all sad all day, she's just in the back of my mind all the time. Some days are worse than others though, like today. I tried for a month desperately to get her to date me in secrecy, and she never agreed. She said I made her hate herself for cheating, and she wasn't happy. Then no contact started. Is there a chance for us in the future? How can I get over her and stop thinking of her in the meantime?

Answer 1

Maybe it's time to chalk that relationship up as a lesson learned about how not to behave, and move on. You really need to put yourself out there. I'm sure there are a lot of other girls in the world who would suit you just as well... but you can't sit around waiting for someone to fall from the sky. Take action.



You'll get past the girl in time. Most of us have a number of relationships during our lifetimes. And there is nothing wrong with that whatsoever!



take care

Answer 2

You made her hate herself for cheating on you? What in the world did she expect? You may miss this girl, but she is absolutely not good for you. I have a feeling that while you may have "no contact" you are probably still following/looking at her social media. That needs to stop. You cannot expect to get over anyone while tracking what they are doing constantly. Delete her off of all social media, and do not look her up. Then and only then will you start to heal, and eventually be able to move on.

Answer 3

This is a classic case which results in everyone telling you .... " you need to move on " and theres a reason for that.

First of all, you need to realize that if she left you for someone else, she was never really in love with you in the first place. I'm not sure by reading your description, but you mentioned she cheated? There is no way she feels as strongly about you as you do for her. I know, it's harsh and you probably are denying everything you're reading, especially because you consider her to be your first love. Lucky for you, you're only 16, and at the rate your going with girls, I'd put all my money on the chance of you finding someone better, multiple times. You can't be miserable just because a girl left you for someone else. Think about it for a second. Is it really worth being hung up on someone who left you high and dry? Considering you're only 16, it's not like you had much of a history together anyways.

After reading that, I bet you're still thinking that it could have still worked out if you didn't become "a terrible boyfriend." Let's get it out of the way. Although there is no denying that you could have prolonged your relationship with her by treating her better after you got back together with her, there is a reason you acted the way you did, and that is because she hurt you, BADLY. She didn't exactly show remorse either, at least truthful remorse for her actions. "She said I made her hate herself for cheating, and she wasn't happy." Need I say more? If she truly loved you, she would hate herself for what she did to you and the fact that she doesn't feel that way already just goes on to prove my point. So did your actions end what was left of that relationship? Yes. Were they justified? HELL YES.



It sounds like you hope there is a future with her. For you to get over her and carry on with your life, you need to a) realize that it's highly unlikely (I would normally rule it out right away but considering your so young, who knows what will happen in years from now when you both mature) and b) not desire a future with her.

There are so many gorgeous girls in this world who will not only be better, but won't leave you for someone else. The fact that you would want a future with someone who has hurt you in the past and is proven un-remorseful is pathetic.

So let me set your mind straight if you haven't already. THERE IS NO FUTURE WITH HER. YOU DON'T WANT A FUTRUE WITH HER.





now...

All that is left to do is get over her. It's easier said than done, but regardless, I'll say what you need to do right here. That way, you can use this as reference for what you need to.



1) Continue no contact rule. You can not become friends with her until you are 100% over her. Considering she hurt you, I couldn't see why you would befriend her in the future, but I'll leave that up to you. Avoid contact with her and get on with your life. Eventually, time will heal those shitty wounds and she'll be out of your mind, as long as she's out of sight.



2) Stay clear of girls who are looking for relationships. This one isn't as much as it is for you as it is for other girls. You don't want to start new relationships only to break hearts simply because you're not over you ex. That would be doing the same thing your ex did to you, and that is a very shitty thing to do. Don't stoop to that level.



3) Have casual sex. Have no strings attached sex, if you want to. For some people it helps. For others it makes no difference. If you want sex, go and get it without starting romantic relationships.



4) Start focusing on other things. This could be a new hobby. This could be self-improvement. This could be improving in your studies. It could be all of those things. Once your mind starts getting attached to new goals, you'll eventually forget about your ex, while being productive. Just imagine, you can become a hell of guitar player if you wanted to. You can start lifting weights, look jacked and attract the hottest women if you wanted to. You can make school a ******* breeze. Imagine all those things... a shredding guitar player with massive muscles and grade a intelligence. My mind goes to some some jacked dude wearing an academic cap who's using his guitar as a baseball bat to smack his shitty ex in the face as you approach the days of a wild *** party college, but that's just me.



5) Socialize. Key step right here. Socializing will help you forget about your ex, as your mind will be focused on having fun with other and more awesome people. It could be used as revenge to if you want, letting your ex watch you enjoy yourself with out her.



6) Find someone new when you're over your ex.



Everything listed is easier said than done, so here are 2 important tips.



1) Get motivated. Start imagining yourself with a better life. Identify what you want to accomplish. Then pursue it. Start today. Start making a workout plan or try picking out your starting guitar. (These are examples, it could be whatever you want it to be.)



2) Thoughts of your ex will jump into your mind from time to time. There is no doubting this. When it happens, you need to acknowledge it. Let your thoughts seep in, and then realize that the same person your thinking about had hurt you in the past. After your done with those angry thoughts, use them as motivation, and continue the healing process. Eventually those thoughts will become more and more rare as you start becoming better and enjoying yourself more, just until they're completely gone.



Good luck.