I'm feeling empty and hopeless?

Question

I'm a male about 27 years old. I'm fit/athletic, and people always compliment me and say how very handsome I am and so on....although it sounds nice and all and people often look at me and even stare me down especially guys look at me with dirty looks...and the women with a smile or curiousity but the bigger picture is....I still feel empty inside.... :(

One of my best friends has been in a relationship for the past year and he hardly ever goes out to hang with me like he used too and one of my other friends lives like an hour and a half away so I hardly see him.

Can someone advise me? The sad part is when people compliment me, they mention wow you must have like a million girls after you or you must have tons of friends....but the reality of it is, I DON'T. I often drive to different places alone, go to Starbucks, stores....and so on. I'm not one of those guys who randomly goes up to women to talk to them....and yes I have done the online dating world too....lots of confused women on there so I gave up.

I mean what else can I do? Wish I had lots of friends....I guess I'm just a hopeless cause. :(

Answer 1

oh please, you're not a hopeless case! : ) You just need to take some initiative. It's totally awesome that you go places alone -- that's very brave. So now you need to start talking to people. Most women aren't going to start talking to you and even less so if you don't seem open to talking to people. Memorize some icebreakers -- not lines, just icebreakers for later in the conversation -- http://blog.6rounds.com/questions-ice-breakers-conversation-starters/. Maybe you also need to find some activity to get involved in. You need something that can make you happy alone (besides Starbucks). The rest will fall into place.

Answer 2

It's funny. You sound like a male version of me. I better with preaching than I am practicing, but I hope I can help.



What you need to do is find YOUR element. You are not a hopelss cause.. and you don't want lots of friends. Having too many just leads to no one being close. Find something inthe community and get involved. Get a "constant" in your life and pursue a passion, even if its just a hobby. Through whatever you do, you WILL meet people and enjoy yourself. THey will be people around you and people that you will enjoy being with. I, for one, never felt complete when I wasn't doing something I liked and found more genuine relationships when I was involved. You have a commonality with these people and you're all in it for the same reason.. the joy of whatever it is.. That brings you together and its likely you'll find more similarities. They have other friends you'll be introduced to and before you know it you will find your group. You just need your place. Is it in the workplace? At the gym? At a store/restaurant? At a local group or project? There are tons of possibilities and it needs a little searcing.. Another good thing about finding what you like is that you can turn to it when youf eel empty and hopeless. If it's your favorite hobby, how can it let you down? Also, don't be afraid to take risks.. Laugh at your mistakes.. don't get hung up..just move on.. but do something you wouldn't normally do one time. You never know what could happen. I'm sorry this is babble and mish mosh, I wish I could help more, but I think there are just too many ways to get you out of this rut. I guess I'll just start by suggesting this. Good luck. Take a look at yourself and realize how great you are. Also, there are others that feel like you do, so never feel alone!

Answer 3

I'm a 19 year old girl and I'm the same exact way. LITERALLY. The truth is, you don't NEED someone. Yeah, it gets really lonely sometimes, but sometimes it's better. And if you need help with an online dating site, try chemistry.com. I went to a love/lust seminar and the host was the creator of the site. But if you act outgoing, smile a lot, someone will smile back and start up a conversation. It can be anyone--a cashier, a waiter, a salesperson, a random stranger. Don't give up hope though :) I know I often do, and it's rough. God, I know it's rough. I'm still trying to find a way out. We'll both get there

Answer 4

you poor guy, sounds like you're pretty down. well my suggestion is to join a sporting group, or any kind of social group. You'll meet heaps of new people and have lots of fun. Try social tennis, or volley ball.

Answer 5

na dude. we're guys. if at any point in your life you get a significant amount of money, you are not hopeless