he broke my heart, should i give him a second change or not??!?

Question

hello.. my situation is difficult yet krazy as hell, we went out for almost 3 yrs..his 22 n im 21 we lived 2gether for 2 n half yrs.. da relationship was perfect, i love him wit all my heart and evertyhin seemed way too perfect.. he also fell in crazy in love wit me.. but the last month of our relationship everythin started to fall apart.. he walked out on me... and weeks later he was already with a woman 11 yrs older than him and with 3 kids... i started to hate him with a great passion... he messed me up, i fell into a deep depression and i just couldnt do it.. so i decided that the best thin for me was to let him go and forget about him..

about 4 months after he left me.. now he came back and he tells me he wants me back, he regrets wat he did and he wants to start all over.. now everythin is kinda in a sticky situation cause i live with my parents and so does he..

i love him but i dont knw if its gonna wok out.. i dont thnk ill eva be able to forgive him.. and it kills me

Answer 1

Drop him like a hot potato.

You gave him a "big" chance for over two years. He walked out on you for another woman. That tells you that you "weren't" good enough for him. What makes you think he won't do it again at the next pretty face that smiles at him?

You have moved in with your parents and moved on with your life. Stay there. At least until you find a guy that really wants you, and not part-time, or at his convenience.

Answer 2

It sounds like he only went with the women as he was trying to move on becos although its not a great idea the best way to forget someone is by finding someone new as the idea of a new love is much more fasinating than past relationships.Everyone loves being inlove if you know what i mean.Personally if this is the only time his done something like this i believe he should be allowed another chance.Make sure you let him no that what he has done has broken your heart.If you cannot forgive then there is no chance in the relationship ever working again.It will take alot of hard work from both of you.Goodluck :D

Answer 3

You know what, no matter what everyone says when answering this question you are going to do what you want to do. I mean we can give you advice but you are your own person and you sound deeply hurt by this whole thing. I feel for you and have been in your situation before. my husband now did the same thing to me (well we didn't end it but he did cheat on me) and he moved back home for awhile but even his mother told me to keave him alone, that he wouldn't change. Well we're married now and let me tell you it is the most amazing relationship that I have ever been in. We love each other so much and no matter how bad he hurt me I did forgive him but I didn't forget! He knows now that if he ever did anything like that to me again we would be through! He changed and I don't believe that saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater" because he did change and if your man really wants to be with you than it's up to you to forgive him and it will be hard at first and kind of akward but if y'all are really comitted to each other then it will work out but it's going to take time on your end rather or not if your ready. Just take your time with him and tell him if anything is bothering you. If I didn't give my husband a chance than i would have lost the man of my life. It worked for me and it can work for you but you both have to be commited to each other!!! Hope this helps and don't cry about it anymore just let him know how your feeling. :)

Answer 4

You've made progress in the four months since the seperation. I would suggest that you continue developing your independence, figure out a way to leave your parent's house and get out on your own, invest in yourself and learn to stand on your own before committing to anyone. I wouldn't try to re-connect, but if you make that choice take things slowly. Build a friendship, build trust, and don't be in such a hurry to establish a relationship until more time passes. It's not all up to him.....just b/c he wants to get back together doesn't mean it's the right choice for you to make. You can fall out of love as quickly as you fall into love. What has changed that would make you believe that he won't repeat the same pattern.....You're strong enough to be on your own, have a lot of growing to do, and there are tons of great guys you haven't met yet. Show some backbone dear girl.....you'll benefit in the end. stay strong

Answer 5

A lot of factors need to be taken into consideration. What caused the relationship to fall apart in the first place? Can you ever trust him again? Do you feel that this time it will last?

One of the most important factors is that if you cannot forgive him, you are headed for trouble. A relationship must be built on trust. If you cannot trust him or forgive him, it will probably fail again.

Answer 6

From personal experience[mine was 4 1/2 yrs]he left,came back,like a fool i took him back.it was never the same as before.it was like he knew i loved him more than he loved me.so he took advantage.

at first it was all,oh forgive me,I'm so sorry ,i was confused,i didn't know what i wanted,now i know i really want you.

within a month all the old bull was back.

i left him.

they call exes,exes for a reason.

leave him be,look for someone who will treat you like you need to be treated.

don't go back just because it feels comfortable,cause it gets boring real soon.

Answer 7

I'vve been there and done that. Don't put yourself through it at all. Love can make you do crazy things. Even taking **** from men. Tell him how you feel and I bet he tells yu he understands and that he wants to make it all better. You never know... he may be still seeing the older chick and is using you as a rebound until they work it out. I'm telling you...don't do it!!! It's not going to end pretty.

Answer 8

Oh gosh, don't do it. Seriously. Things didn't work out for him with the other lady, so now you're his "ace in the hole" until something better (in his opinion) comes along.



Move on and find someone that wouldn't even think of doing this to you. If he truly was crazy in love with you, he would never have left to begin with.



I wish you peace.

Answer 9

aww.. waw ur situation sounds just like mine, except i never got the chance to live with my bf... and he still hasnt ever came back to me.. = (



but all i would say is that, this is hard, to give him a chance or not... well u should think about all what he did to hurt u, and now when she probably isnt good enough for him anymore he came back to u. u should ask him y does he wanna be with u again? and y he left u for someone else so easily....?

and because i feel that some guys can be extreme selfish jerks.. not caring about their girls feelings, i would say let him be. because he may have came back, but y? and y couldnt he just stick with u and try to help the falling relationship instead of leaving u and then getting with another woman. and now lets say u do give him a chance, u will have to remember he walked out on u and replaced u with someone else. he's an a**hole... if u really feel that u can handle him knowing he was with someone else and then ditched her or whatever the case may be, then talk to him and figure it out, but dont fall for any traps... it is a sticky situation, and u gotta think this time for urself, its not about what u feel, its about what u deserve.... so talk to ur bf, see what he says if he has points to be given another chance then maybe u should, but if he doesnt have any good reasons for all that pain he gave u, then screw him... now u gotta decide and see what ur inner gut tells u... would it be right for me to be with him even after he left me like that and moved on so quick and came back to me, or he was just too messed up and doesnt desereve another chance.....



and yea after my ex left me, i went into this semi depression, and still have thoughts of him feeling a bit nostalgic, but i think if i was talking to him or keeping in touch, my hurt feelings will always remain, and i would always have things to say, because he hurt me... but as time is going on i am more controlling of myself and my feelings.. and i see things more clearly and on how much of a loser he is... it is really really hard to let go, but once u do, u see reality better...



u gotta decide for urself, u can either get back with him and have trust issues extra problems cuz u may say yea i forgive u but inside deep down u may feel a bit nervous or something... and if u let go, ull always wonder and feel like u need him.. but trust me there r better and more fish in the sea.. (in my opinion dont go back to him) but all is ur choice.



good luck.. time will heal it all.

Answer 10

You want to get hurt again? You can't trust this guy. Why jump in the fire again if you don't have to. Move on girl, be smart. The signs are all there for a bad idea.

Answer 11

nicely, i continually believed one you injury up it is it, no 2nd replace cuz in case you have been prepared to enable pass the 1st time, he or she isn't the single yet i comprehend that no longer what the middle feels/needs. i myself went against my believes, cuz i in my opinion enjoyed this lady and he or she broke up with me and 2 weeks later she needed me lower back and that i agreed. only 2 pass by each and all of the soreness and suffering lower back. i continually felt that she became the single for me yet i became no longer the single for her. and that i think of you are going to be in the comparable challenge my reaction on desirous to be with him each and all of the time : all i will declare is that unquestionably everyone needs some own time and area, yet because of the fact i do no longer comprehend the two of you and how plenty you spot one yet another it is not effortless to remark on that. very final say, no remember how no longer effortless that's and painful that's, i think of you should attempt to go away all of this in the back of you, supply your self it gradual to heal and spot what the destiny brings

Answer 12

Don't forgive him... you are also a human being & not someone from the skies to be all angelic.



But - don't ignore him. what if he is true and definitely genuine...



Give him some time... lot of things can change over a period of time.



all the best!!!

Answer 13

i kinda had that sitiuation and i forgave him.... and now we are married, and in more love than ever, and have a baby. if you can find a place in your heart that still loves him, you might want to try to give him a second chance. there is always a possibility that it will work. and if it doesnt, it isnt what god has in store for you.

Answer 14

No, don't take this loser back. While you wait for another, take some spelling lessons. That is very hard to read.

Answer 15

tell him how you feel and that it was stupid of him to do that and if you still love him then get back together if not then don't

Answer 16

then tell him no if he left you once he might do it again dont set yourself up for disaster

Answer 17

just follow your heart if you think he is going to chea on you again then don't get bac with him